Part 49 (2/2)
She drank. ”Rocket fuel. That's the ticket.”
He put an arm around her shoulder. She snugged into her sweater and leaned against him.
”Last night at the airport, before the ambulance took Seth to the hospital, I tried to talk to Misty. She wouldn't look at me,” she said.
”She may never forgive you. Harsh, but there's no way around it,” he said. ”But Kanan understood the risk, and he acted of his own free will. He saved his family and G.o.d knows how many other people.”
”The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? I don't think Misty's going to buy that.”
”Kanan sacrificed himself. But he wasn't simply acting selflessly. He was atoning.”
”For?”
”Killing people. Contaminating others. Bringing ruin to his family.”
”He was brave. He loved them,” she said.
He held her tighter. ”You were brave. Helping him took guts.” His voice softened. ”I'm sorry about how it turned out, Jo.”
She brushed the hair back from her forehead. ”Ian knew he would forget they were safe. He knew he was trapped in an endless loop, an eternal present of crisis without resolution.”
”Sounds like h.e.l.l.”
”Living without memory would be like dying every minute. Forgetting everything as soon as it happens-having your experiences vanish, all the joy, all the tragedy... G.o.d, what an empty existence.” She watched the trees sway in the wind. ”You only live fully when you bring the past into your life and make it part of you.”
He gazed at her, pensive. ”You hear yourself?”
”I do. We have to embrace both past and present. No matter how painful, or how deep the scars.”
The wind swept her hair into her eyes again. Gabe took an index finger and hooked it behind her ear.
”Thank you. For everything,” she said.
His gaze remained pensive. ”Jo, about me...”
She shook her head. ”Don't. Not now. Tell me when you're ready.”
”I know you've been wondering what's bugging me. Why I've been distant. It's not you.”
s.h.i.+t. ”It's you?”
”I know I've been preoccupied.” He looked at her. ”I may be called up.”
She stilled. ”Called up to active duty?”
”It's not a done deal, but that's the rumor.”
Jo's heart clenched. Gabe looked at Sophie.
”Have you told her?” she said.
”No. I don't want her to worry.”
The little girl didn't need to worry. Jo was already doing it for her. Sophie needs a father, not a hero. Jo took his hand.
”If I go, it'll be a twelve-month tour,” he said.
”If you go, you know where I'll be. I'm not going anywhere.”
”Yes, you are. Anywhere I am, you're in my thoughts, chica.”
Jo leaned in and kissed him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her back.
”You know how I feel?” he said.
”No, but I think you're going to tell me. And even if you don't, I can live with the uncertainty.”
”Then you're tougher than I am. 'Cause I've got to know-if it's clear tonight, do I get to claim that rain check?”
She just smiled.
Sophie bounced the ball under the basket. ”Guys, want to play?”
They looked up. ”Yeah,” Jo said.
She stood and pulled Gabe to his feet. ”You never know what'll happen. You can only wake up and get in the game, every single day.”
His smile was rueful. They headed onto the court.
Gabe clapped his hands. ”Throw me the ball.”
Acknowledgments.
For their encouragement and their help with this novel, I thank Ben Sevier; Deborah Schneider; Sheila Crowley; Sara Gardiner, M.D.; John Plombon, Ph.D.; Kelly Gerrard; Adrienne Dines; Mary Albanese; Luigge Romanillo; Lejon Boudreaux; Leif Eiriksson; and Paul Shreve.
About the Author.
<script>