Part 32 (1/2)

Tess smiled. ”You're lucky to get any. Dawn is busy trying to fatten up Kenneth.”

”Ah, the way to a man's heart,” he said. ”So, where's young Erny tonight?”

”He went to the movies. With his uncle. It's an action picture.”

Ben chuckled. ”They'll both enjoy that.”

”You know it,” said Tess.

”Here. Come and sit.” Ben sank down into the corner of the sofa and indicated the cus.h.i.+on beside him.

Tess sat down beside him and s.h.i.+fted her body so that she was looking directly into his lake blue eyes. The urge to touch him was irresistible. As soon as she did, they moved together, cheek to cheek, their eyes closed, and then they were kissing and kissing. Tess felt like she was floating under the sun in a warm ocean as a wave of desire rose within her, around her. No, she thought. Time is short. We have to talk. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and more reluctantly, he let her go. For a minute they gazed at each other. ”How are you feeling?” she asked.

”Good,” he said. ”Great. Doc says I can go back to work next week.”

Tess nodded. ”That's good.” She was quiet for a moment. Then she looked away from him and said, ”I've got to get back to it, too. Erny needs to get back to school. And my team has been calling me. They're taking turns, calling me in s.h.i.+fts. They got grant money for a new film. It's a doc.u.mentary about this suburban, junior leaguetype woman who moved to the inner city to try and do something meaningful with her life.”

”This is a true story?”

”Oh yeah. Her husband divorced her and all the kids stayed with him except for her oldest son. He went with his mother and they run a shelter together. It's very bizarre. I think it's going to be an interesting film.”

Ben nodded. ”It sounds like it.”

Tess glanced at him. ”Still, I hate to go back,” she said.

”Really?” he said. ”Why?”

Tess shrugged. ”Lots of reasons.”

Ben reached for her hand with his free hand and kneaded it. His touch was electric to her and she did not dare to look in his eyes. They sat in silence for a few moments. Then they both spoke at once.

”You know I...” he said.

”It's not that...” she said.

Then they both stopped. ”You first,” she said.

”Oh. Well, I was just going to say that I got a call from the county prosecutor this morning,” Ben said. ”Apparently they've made a deal with Chan Morris.”

Tess nodded, disappointed. She thought he was going to say something about their future-if they had one. They had spent a lot of time together since the night of the shooting-some of it in the hospital, some with Erny, and much of it alone, sharing their thoughts, their laughter and their feelings, complicated and pa.s.sionate. She recognized what was growing between them-she could see it in the way he looked at her and feel it in her own heart-but neither one of them had said a word about what would happen when they had to part. Besides, there had been so many distractions. Like the upcoming trial, which had been very much on her mind, as well. ”I know,” she said. ”They called us, too. I'm kind of glad. I didn't want to have to go through another trial. We know what happened.”

”Chan will have to allocute and the judge will require a full recounting. But you know that this means...”

Tess looked at him. ”What?”

”Well, he'll go to jail for life. The death penalty is definitely off the table.”

”I thought Governor Putnam was putting a moratorium on the death penalty in this state,” Tess said calmly.

”He's announced it, yes. But it hasn't officially gone into effect yet.”

”Why are you bringing up the death penalty?” asked Tess.

Ben avoided her gaze. ”I wasn't sure if you knew.”

”Is this a test?” she asked coolly.

Ben thought about it for a minute, then he looked at her directly. ”I'll tell you something, Tess. Chan Morris was my test. I thought about killing that man myself that night at his house. When he wouldn't tell me where you were, when he implied that you were dead, it did cross my mind. I'd be lying if I said it didn't.”

”Well, I know you're saying that for my sake,” said Tess. ”The old 'solidarity' thing. I feel your pain, et cetera.”

Ben looked slightly embarra.s.sed. ”Maybe a little,” he said. ”But it happens to be true. And I've been harsh on this subject. Self-righteous, you might say. So it's only fair to admit it. I did think about killing him. Just to get even. Just to make him pay.”

”Payback,” she mused, thinking about Chan's rationale for killing Phoebe. ”Where does it ever end?”

Ben peered at her. ”What does that mean?”

”It means that I hope Chan Morris lives a long and terrible life in prison. And that I never have to see his face again. But that's the only payback I'm interested in. Nothing else makes sense. There's been a lot of killing. And, as far as I can see, there's been no justice in any of it.”

Ben nodded and they were silent again for a moment. ”So, no trial. I guess that means you can leave at any time.”