Part 10 (2/2)
The business was soon understood; The lady, who wish'd to be more rich, Cries, Sweet sir, my name is Milwood, And I lodge at the Gunner's in Sh.o.r.editch.
Rum ti, &c.
Now nightly he stole out, good lack!
And into her lodging would pop, sir; And often forgot to come back, Leaving master to shut up the shop, sir.
Her beauty his wits did bereave - Determined to be quite the crack O, He lounged at the Adam and Eve, And call'd for his gin and tobacco.
Rum ti, &c.
And now--for the truth must be told, Though none of a 'prentice should speak ill - He stole from the till all the gold, And ate the lump-sugar and treacle.
In vain did his master exclaim, Dear George, don't engage with that dragon; She'll lead you to sorrow and shame, And leave you the devil a rag on.
Your rum ti, &c.
In vain he entreats and implores The weak and incurable ninny, So kicks him at last out of doors, And Georgy soon spends his last guinea.
His uncle, whose generous purse Had often relieved him, as I know, Now finding him grow worse and worse, Refused to come down with the rhino.
Rum ti, &c.
Cried Milwood, whose cruel heart's core Was so flinty that nothing could shock it, If ye mean to come here any more, Pray come with more cash in your pocket: Make Nunky surrender his dibs, Rub his pate with a pair of lead towels, Or stick a knife into his ribs - I'll warrant he'll then show some bowels.
Rum ti, &c.
A pistol he got from his love - 'Twas loaded with powder and bullet; He trudged off to Camberwell Grove, But wanted the courage to pull it.
There's Nunky as fat as a hog, While I am as lean as a lizard; Here's at you, you stingy old dog! - And he whips a long knife in his gizzard.
Rum ti, &c.
All you who attend to my song, A terrible end of the farce shall see, If you join the inquisitive throng That follow'd poor George to the Marshalsea.
If Milwood were here, dash my wigs, Quoth he, I would pummel and lam her well; Had I stuck to my prunes and figs, I ne'er had stuck Nunky at Camberwell.
Rum ti, &c.
Their bodies were never cut down; For granny relates with amazement, A witch bore 'em over the town, And hung them on Thorowgood's cas.e.m.e.nt, The neighbours, I've heard the folks say, The miracle noisily brag on; And the shop is, to this very day, The sign of the George and the Dragon, Rum ti, &c.
PUNCH'S APOTHEOSIS--BY T. H. {73} {99}
”Rhymes the rudders are of verses, With which, like s.h.i.+ps, they steer their courses.”
HUDIBRAS.
Scene draws, and discovers PUNCH on a throne, surrounded by LEAR, LADY MACBETH, MACBETH, OTh.e.l.lO, GEORGE BARNWELL, HAMLET, GHOST, MACHEATH, JULIET, FRAIR, APOTHECARY, ROMEO, and FALSTAFF.--PUNCH descends and addresses them in the following
RECITATIVE.
As manager of horses Mr. Merryman is, So I with you am master of the ceremonies - These grand rejoicings. Let me see, how name ye 'em? - Oh, in Greek lingo 'tis E-pi-thalamium.
October's tenth it is: toss up each hat to-day, And celebrate with shouts our opening Sat.u.r.day!
On this great night 'tis settled by our manager, That we, to please great Johnny Bull, should plan a jeer, Dance a bang-up theatrical cotillion, And put on tuneful Pegasus a pillion; That every soul, whether or not a cough he has, May kick like Harlequin, and sing like Orpheus.
So come, ye pupils of Sir John Gallini, {74} Spin up a tetotum like Angiolini: {75} That John and Mrs. Bull, from ale and tea-houses, May shout huzza for Punch's Apotheosis!
They dance and sing.
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