Part 16 (1/2)
”Don't think this will work,” she murmured, and then she leaned into him and kissed him, running her hands from his belt up the smooth silken line of his back. The hard knot of his belt buckle pressed against her, and she had to s.h.i.+ft her hips slightly to keep her saber hilt from tangling with his sheathed knife.
He broke off the kiss and sighed, gathering her into him, and kissed her along the line of her jaw up to her right ear. ”If he takes you away from me,” he whispered, as softly as an endearment, ”then I promise you that I will destroy Jeds.”
Tess stiffened in his embrace and slid her hands around to his chest, bracing herself away from him. He let go of her. ”What if I decide to leave of my own free will?”
So many expressions chased themselves across his features that it took her a moment to recognize the one that lay underneath all the others. He was afraid. Ilya was afraid of losing her.
He threw his arms around her, enclosing her, and yanked her tight against him.
”By the G.o.ds, I will stop you.”
”How?”
He did not answer in words. Words contained the least part of the language they spoke to one another. The heat of his hands burned on her skin. Tess traced the line of his beard, traced his lips, with her fingers. Her hands ranged down to the clasp of his belt, and she eased it away and let it drop onto the soft pile of carpets.
”Tess,” he said again, hesitant.
Tess got her hands under his s.h.i.+rt and slid them up, over his chest, teasing the nipples and then, when he was breathless, steering him backward through the curtain into the sleeping alcove. By s.h.i.+fting her foot, she tripped him, and he tumbled down onto the heap of silken pillows, pulling her with him. Astride him, she eased off his s.h.i.+rt, and let him unbuckle her belt and thrust it away. She captured his hands and pressed them against her.
”Promise me,” she said. ”Promise me you will not threaten my brother.”
”d.a.m.n you.” He was angry, still, but he was also laughing. ”It gains me nothing, now, to kill him, and you know it.”
”Then it costs you nothing to promise me. He is your ally, Ilya, you must believe that.”
He s.h.i.+fted his hips beneath her and used the toe of one boot to pry off the other.
”He cares nothing for me, Tess, except that I married you.”
”That isn't true.”
”Isn't it? Then tell me he would have come here, that he would even send an emba.s.sy to the jaran, if you weren't here.”
”Jeds is far away-”
”G.o.ds, Tess,” he said, exasperated. With an expert twist, he freed his hands and flipped her over, so that he lay on top of her. He found the tip of her braid and undid it, loosening her hair until it lay free, spread out on the pillows.”You haven't promised me yet,” she said stubbornly.
He sat back with a great sigh and took off his other boot. She lay still on the pillows, watching him in the soft light of the lanterns. He kept his black hair cut short, a fas.h.i.+on that had spread among his soldiers, and he was obsessive about keeping his beard neat and trimmed. Whether by accident or by design, the lantern light haloed him, giving him a haze of light, as if the G.o.ds had long since marked him as their own. Which they had, according to the beliefs of his own people.
”I promise you that I will not threaten your brother as long as you stay with me,”
he said.
”Ilya!” It was her turn to be exasperated.
”We're negotiating, my wife. Now it is your turn to make a counteroffer.''
She sat up and took off her boots, and regarded him. Oh, she was still angry with him, but right now, it didn't matter. She laughed. ”I'll consider it. Now, my husband, I think it time to remind you that you have been gone for a month, and you have certain obligations to your wife that you have not yet fulfilled.”
”Most willingly,” he murmured. ”G.o.ds, Tess, I missed you.” He sank down with her into the soft bed of pillows.
Later, lying quiet, she stroked his hair while he kissed her fingers, one by one.
”We'll make a child,” he said, and because it was habitual with him, it came out more an order than a request. ”Do you know, by the time Niko was my age he was a grandfather.” Then, content for now, he sighed and nestled his face against her neck, tangling himself in with her and, as he often did, he fell asleep immediately.
A grandfather. The word looped over and over in her thoughts as she lay still, staring at him. Thirty-seven-not old at all. But here, if he lived another thirty years, it would be a miracle. Whereas she could expect to live another eighty or ninety years: the thought of living in a universe without him in it-she winced away from even thinking about it.
She sought out the silver in his hair, but there was not enough yet to show up in the dim light, not enough to lighten his black hair. He had sun-weathered skin, but like all the jaran, the wrinkles came late and slowly. She traced the scar on his cheek-the scar of his marriage to her-and farther down, to one on his shoulder, along his chest to the flat line of his abdomen, to his hips. Easing out from under his arm, she pulled away from him and covered him with a thick quilt of fur. He slept, undisturbed by these attentions.
But the signs were beginning to show: cuts, superficial wounds that did not heal as quickly, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He would grow old, truly old, and she would still be young.
She dressed, braided her hair, and went outside. It was dark now and most of the camp was quiet. In the direction of the Sakhalin encampment some kind of carousing was going on, doubtless in celebration of Anatoly Sakhalin's elevation to a command of his own.Under the light of lanterns hung from the awning of her tent, Sonia sat with Nadine. She was sewing together two strips of woven cloth, with Nadine aiding her.
”Well, well,” called Sonia as Tess ducked under her awning. ”So you survived that, did you?”
”d.a.m.ned arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d,” said Tess, bending to give Sonia a kiss. ”It's good to be back.”
Sonia chuckled. ”You should have greeted him first, Tess.”
”I can't believe you say that, Sonia. Of all people.”
Sonia grinned. ”Oh, not for his sake, or even his dignity, Tess. You must think of the rest of us, although I trust he'll be in a better humor when he wakes.”
”He ought to be. Where are the children?”
”I sent them off to the Sakhalin celebration.”
”Aren't you going yourself?”
”Mother warned me that I mustn't defer to Mother Sakhalin too much.”
”Oho,” said Tess, ”very clever, then, to send the children but not yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my brother.''
”I hear that Anatoly Sakhalin has fallen in love with one of the actors,” said Sonia. ”Perhaps you'll look her over for me.”
Tess shrugged. ”I don't know who you mean.”
”Yes, you do,” said Nadine suddenly. ”The one who fainted. Well timed, you know, from a tactical point of view.''
”Good Lord. What would Anatoly Sakhalin want with a khaja wife, anyway?”
Both Sonia and Nadine laughed. ”My dearest Tess,” said Sonia with a grin, ”he wants to be like Ilya, of course.”
”G.o.ds.” Feeling that this expressed everything that was left to express, Tess took her leave and walked back through camp to her brother's enclave.
Here it was not quiet. Coming up on the two sets of tents pitched just beyond the army, Tess recognized with a shock the life of a society that was at once familiar and distant to her, after four years on Rhui. Day and night were equal to these people.
Even though here they had to rely on lantern light, still they did not put aside their activities with the sunset and begin again with sunrise. She paused in the gloom outside the ring of light, watching.
Under Charles's awning sat Charles and Cara and David-those three she knew from before. Maggie sat with them, and a handful of others she had not met. As she watched, a trio walked in from the side, laughing and talking in voices trained to carry: a few of the actors, evidently. Tess marked out Diana, the young golden-haired actress; she was pretty, of course, but more than that, she seemed to carry light with her wherever she went. Rather like Ilya, however ironic that might be, except that Diana shone with sweetness and a fine, generous spirit, not with stark power.