Part 11 (2/2)
I knew if I was going to get Miss Raines to the church, I needed to leave now, while everybody was tending to their own pressing needs. Flora had finally left the kitchen, and I could hear her in Martha Ann's bedroom grunting as she tugged and pulled her girdle up and over her tummy. Flora would insist on driving Miss Mabie's car to the church, especially with all this snow on the ground. I stood outside Martha Ann's bedroom door and told Flora to tell everybody that I'd meet them at the church, and not to worry, I was going to take Daddy's car. Flora yelled back from inside the bedroom, wanting to know where I was headed right before my daddy's funeral was about to begin. It wasn't right, she said, to keep the dead waiting.
I told her that I just needed a minute or two to myself. ”You understand, don't you, Flora?” I said, not waiting for an answer. I headed down the hall, grabbing my heavy wool coat from the closet and then running toward the front door. But as I threw my coat over my shoulder, something caught my eye. Mama was ironing one of my dresses. I wanted to ask her why she was doing that. I already had something to wear to the church. But all I could do was stand in the hallway and watch her hand gently glide the iron back and forth, smoothing every wrinkle out of the fabric. Ruthie Morgan's mama had never ironed anything as perfectly as this.
She set the iron down and looked up at me. I smiled, letting her know how thankful I was, and then I turned back toward the door and ran out onto the porch. The steps were covered with a thin layer of ice and as soon as my foot touched the first step, I fell flat on my bottom. Thankfully, my heavy coat cus.h.i.+oned the fall, but I couldn't help but laugh, wondering if Daddy and his new band of angel friends had seen that from above. I kept my curse words locked in my mouth just in case and picked myself up and walked very carefully to the Oldsmobile. The door was frozen shut and I had to pull hard on the chrome handle, leaning my entire body away from the door. When it opened, I fell on my bottom again.
This time Martha Ann yelled from the bathroom window. ”Your b.u.t.t's going to be frost bit by the time you get to Miss Raines.” I could still hear her laughing as she closed the window behind her.
I pulled myself up into my daddy's car and settled in behind the steering wheel. For the first time since hearing that my daddy had pa.s.sed, I truly felt his presence, his gentle, comforting presence. I put the key into the ignition and waited for the engine to warm. I didn't need any s.h.i.+vers down my spine to tell me that I wasn't traveling alone.
I backed the car out of the driveway and then headed toward the church. Cedar Grove's brick exterior stood out like a monument on the snowy, white ground. The black hea.r.s.e was already there parked alongside the building, waiting to carry daddy's casket to the cemetery. I wondered if the men from the funeral home were going to be able to get my daddy in the ground, considering how freezing cold it was. I whispered I'd be back and then turned left and headed into town.
It felt like Christmas Day. Every building was closed and shut tight; even the lights at the Dairy Queen were turned off. Everybody in Ringgold was on his way to say good-bye to my daddy. Everybody but one, and I had to go get her.
When I pulled in front of Miss Raines's house, I could see boxes neatly stacked on her front porch. She was standing in the picture window, staring out at nothing. She jumped when she saw the car, obviously startled at the sight of my daddy's Oldsmobile. I climbed out of the front seat, this time leaning on the hood of the car to steady myself as I walked toward the curb. She was already standing on the porch waiting for me, holding out a hand to guide me up the two final steps to her house.
”Catherine Grace, what are you doing here? You should be at the church by now.”
”Well, since it's my own daddy's funeral, I don't think they'll be starting without me. You're right, I do need to be heading that way, but I needed to say something to you first,” I said, not giving her the opportunity to interrupt. ”Martha Ann and I have been doing some talking, and we agree that there's not going to be a funeral if you're not there. So get your coat, and let's go.”
”Catherine Grace, that is very kind of you girls, but I don't think the rest of Cedar Grove is going to feel too good about me showing up at Reverend Cline's funeral. They don't want to think your daddy had anything to do with this baby. Apparently they want to think I just miraculously conceived this child or, at the very least, went up to some bar in Chattanooga and let the first guy who asked me to dance knock me up. Oh Lord, I'm sorry, Catherine, I don't normally talk like this. I just haven't been myself lately.”
”Miss Raines, of course you're not yourself. You're pregnant, and Flora says any woman who has a baby growing in her is sure to be acting like a crazy person. And as far as all those other people are concerned, well, I guess they'll just have to go find themselves another funeral to cry at if they don't want you there because I'm not leaving without you. Now get your coat. It's really cold out there.” Miss Raines stood perfectly still, unable to speak or move, but I could see the tears starting to well up in those beautiful blue eyes of hers.
”Listen. I know that for a long time I was plain rotten to you, just downright mean. Truth be told, I always liked you. I was just so mad that my mama was gone, and I found it was easier to be ugly to you than to my own daddy. It wasn't right. But you're family now, and you need to be at that funeral today-for Daddy, for Martha Ann, for me-and most of all for that little baby inside your tummy. And after the service, I've got news for you, Miss Raines, you're coming on home with us. You don't need some imaginary husband in Summerville. You need a family, now more than ever.
”Now go get your coat because I'm really not leaving without you. And it really is cold out there. Besides, I sure would hate to have to call the sheriff out in all this snow to come and put you in that car, and you know good and well he'll do anything for Reverend Cline's little girl,” I said with a big grin on my face.
”Well, in that case,” she said, crying again so that I could hardly understand what she was saying, ”I guess I better get my coat.” As she walked past me, she reached out to hug my neck but suddenly lifted her head as if she had heard a frightening noise. ”Oh Lord, Catherine, what about your mama? What's she going to think about me showing up at Marshall's service?”
”I'm sure she's feeling a bit out of place herself. Ida Belle and Brother Fulmer thought it was best we forewarn the congregation, for fear somebody might have a heart attack seeing her alive and all. So don't worry, she'll be fine with you being there. Who knows, seeing you two together may be enough of a shock to leave even Roberta Huckstep speechless, for once.”
By the time Miss Raines and I pulled into the church parking lot, we could hear the piano playing inside the church. Thankfully, Mrs. Gilbert was in town and she had arranged a collection of Daddy's favorite hymns. I could hear the last notes of ”I'd Rather Have Jesus” trail into the beginning of ”When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder.” Miss Raines and I helped each other climb up the cement steps to the door. Brother Fulmer had carefully sc.r.a.ped off the ice and sprinkled the steps with rock salt. We could hear the salt crunching underneath the weight of our bodies.
As I pushed on the door of the church, I saw Martha Ann standing guard in the entry. She grabbed the door from the inside and pulled it open, and there in the entry of my daddy's church stood Miss Raines and me and Martha Ann and Lena Mae, the four women Daddy loved the most. We walked toward the center aisle and I could see my daddy's casket covered with a blanket of red roses. I took a deep breath, needing a moment to remind myself that my daddy was the one we had come to bury. Then we stepped into the sanctuary, standing side by side.
The church fell completely silent. Mrs. Gilbert even missed a few notes on the piano but quickly picked up her place and continued to play. As we walked down the aisle, I could feel everyone staring at us. I could hear Roberta Huckstep's familiar gasp, but I just smiled. I reached for Martha Ann's hand, and she squeezed it tight, rea.s.suring me of what I had come to do.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
You Will Be Like a Well-Watered Garden Gloria Jean and Miss Mabie and Flora were already sitting in the first pew. Gloria Jean stood as we approached, hugging each one of us as we reached the front of the church. When she wrapped her arms around Lena Mae, you could hear everyone's surprise rush through the air. For Gloria Jean, that was nothing more than encouragement, and she opened her arms even wider toward Miss Raines.
I waited for the music to soften, then I walked up three final steps and, for the first time, took my place behind the pulpit. I stroked my hand across its top, feeling its uneven surface where years of Cline men pounding their fists had left an impression. When I was little, I would sit at the base of the pulpit waiting for Daddy to finish talking to anyone who needed his ear. But I had never stood here with some thing to say, and in that moment, I realized what an ominous responsibility it was being Ringgold's preacher. I looked at Mrs. Gilbert the way my daddy used to do, and she softly brought the hymn to a close.
”Good morning, everyone, thank you for coming today. I hope you feel like I do, that I'm here not to say goodbye to my daddy, but to celebrate his life. I'm sure some of you are struggling with my daddy's death-and his life-right now. Heck, you may be even questioning your own faith, a little uncertain of what or who to believe anymore.
”My daddy liked to preach the parables. Of course, you all know that as well as I do. He always told Martha Ann and me that Jesus understood that children, even the grown ones, learn best when listening to a story. One of Daddy's favorites was the Parable of the Weeds, and it was always one of my favorites because Daddy told it in a way that I could really understand. I want to share that story with you now if you don't mind.
”You all know that my granddaddy loved his garden. He loved to tend to each and every one of his plants almost as much as he loved and tended to all of you, but most of you probably know that, too. But did you know that his garden was his secret hiding spot, where he went to think and rest and praise the good Lord? I'm not sure if my daddy told me that or if I just figured it out for myself.
”Anyway, what you might not know is that one day a real Cherokee Indian came over from the Sequatchie Valley to give my granddaddy a purple tomato plant. That's right. A real Cherokee gave him that plant as a gift for praying his little Indian boy, who was sick with a high fever, back to health. Granddaddy loved that vine because, as Daddy told it, it had come from the goodness that can be done in the world.
”But when he planted it, even though the tomatoes were sweet and plentiful, hundreds of weeds sprouted up around the vine, trying to strangle it to death. Every day Granddaddy pulled the weeds that had grown up during the night. Every day he pulled the weeds that were trying to choke the life right out of it. He never turned his back on that vine.
”I think we're kind of like that garden. Some of us here at Cedar Grove are trying to grow strong beautiful tomatoes, and some of us are like the weeds, trying to choke the life out of everybody else. My daddy was a good man. He was a good father. And he was a good preacher. Brother Hawkins, you know that firsthand. Daddy stood by you when your daughter went down to Texas to birth her little baby. And, Deacon Evans, wasn't it Daddy who went and smoothed things over with your wife when she locked you out of the house after you lost all your savings at the dog track down in Florida?”
I could see each and every person sitting before me starting to squirm for fear I was going to continue calling the roll of sinners, so to speak. But I didn't need to. They knew they were in no position to be casting any stones.
”But one thing's for sure, my daddy wasn't perfect. Miss Raines's growing belly is testament to that. My daddy loved Miss Raines. He had loved her for a long time. It's just a shame he couldn't have loved her honestly. I think when my mama left, well, my daddy just wasn't able to admit to all of you that his sweet young wife wanted more than he could offer. I don't know, maybe he thought that if he couldn't make things right with his own wife, then none of you would ever trust anything he had to say about loving one another. So he let us all think she drowned.
”And now I wonder, with an innocent little baby on the way, if up and dying wasn't the only way my daddy could keep from disappointing all of you here at Cedar Grove. That's how much he loved each and every one of you. And I think if we turn our backs on our sisters, on Lena Mae and Miss Raines, then we are no better than the weeds choking the life out of those beautiful vines.”
When I looked up, Mrs. Roberta Huckstep was holding her head in her monogrammed handkerchief. Everybody was tearing to one degree or another. So I just stood there for a moment, just like Flora would want me to do, giving everyone a chance to let the sadness pour out of their bodies.
I looked to Mrs. Gilbert, and she began to play ”Just As I Am.” At first the sound of the piano merely m.u.f.fled the noise of a crying congregation. Then one by one, people began to sing, finding comfort in the words that surely now, more than ever, were a comfort to my daddy.
Just as I am, and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of G.o.d, I come! I come!
Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve,
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