Part 27 (1/2)

Damali slowed her gait to a quick walking pace, trying to rethread her thoughts. The only image that came back to her with clarity was Carlos in their room, looking up at her, mortified, and her shock at what she'd seen. The rest of the impressions were fuzzy and only left a bad aftertaste in her mouth, then even that dissipated. She'd figure it out later, and set her sights on her approaching teammates.

Her goal was simply to get past them. She didn't want to talk to another living soul at the moment. However, the pull to Jose came from deep within her core. She needed to talk to him, connect with him. It was an inexplicable feeling, like ancestral knowledge. It just was.

The closer he got to her, the more she felt sure that they needed to have a conversation alone, although she didn't exactly know what she would say. But as his clean energy wafted toward her, it drew her like a magnet. She could instantly feel healing within it. Tears of relief wet her lashes again and began to sting her eyes, no matter how she fought against them.

Jose caught her arm and Rider took off his shades and stared at her.

”You all right, D?” Jose said, searching her face.

”Hon, you look like something's chasing you,” Rider said quietly. ”Wanna take a walk with us?” He rubbed his jacket to let her know he was packing.

She shook her head no. Words escaped her. Jose and Rider shared a look. It was that look that was beginning to shatter her composure. Damali wrapped her arms around herself and drew a ragged breath to argue, but no sound came out.

”I got dis',” Jose said firmly, his line of vision holding Rider's hard.

”You sure, hombre?” Rider said with concern.

Damali pulled out of Jose's touch and jogged away from them.

He left Rider standing in the lobby and followed Damali down to the marina. It took several minutes to catch up to her and match her stride, but when he did, he just silently walked by her side.

After a while, renewed calm slowed her pace, allowed her to begin to hear the sounds around her, and feel the comfort Jose provided. Bless him. Always there. But what was there to say to Jose that could be shared without a privacy violation?”I just needed to get my head together,” she finally stammered as they strolled along the marina and then found the edge of the beach.

He nodded. ”Been that kinda day. I hear you.”

”Yeah.”

”Been that kinda year, truth be told,” he said, and picked up a stone and chucked it in the water.

”Hey! Don't do that,” she warned half serious and half joking. ”That might have been my fifth insight stone.”

He laughed. ”My bad. I forgot.” Then he made a playful dash at the water but swerved to avoid it. ”Want me to go get it? Pick it out from the, what, several million pieces of rock in the sea? I will, girl, you know I'm crazy like that.”

She laughed and stopped walking. ”Thank you.”

He stopped and looked at her. ”Don't know what I did, but you're welcome, D. But I ain't scuba diving in jeans for a rock-not even for you, baby.” He laughed but his mirth died away when hers slowly became a sad smile.

She looked down and let out a weary sigh. ”I'm so tired. Thanks for always making me laugh. Just being my friend.”

”That ain't gonna change. Told you that when I came for coffee the other day.”

She nodded, but still didn't look at him. ”Yep, you did. I don't want that to ever change. It's the only constant in my life.”

She looked up when he didn't respond, and saw something in his eyes that she dared not name.

”Mine, too,” he said quietly. ”So, I'm blessed.”

She told her legs to start walking. This was a good time to do that.

”What happened back there, D?”

She shook her head no. ”I'll be all right.”

He stepped closer than advisable. ”If you ever aren't, you know where to come.”

She just looked at him for a moment. ”I know. And I will.”

They stared at each other for a long time.

”What happened this morning when you left to go get Krissy straight?”

Jose looked at her, shook his head, and sent his gaze toward the water, the muscles beginning to work in his jaw. ”I'm cool.”

Damali nodded and placed her hand on his arm. ”If you ever aren't...”

He slowly brought his eyes up to meet hers. ”Damali, this thing is way too volatile to just put it out there like that, and you know it. Friend to friend, we need to be clear about that.”

”I'm sorry,” she murmured, and wrapped her arms around her waist.

”Me, too. Because before you tell me that again, I have to be clear.”She nodded and swallowed hard as his hand cupped her cheek.

”I have to know,” he whispered, ”because if you ever tell me that again, and if I ever see that hurt look in your eyes because of something foul he did, I'll come to you, throwing caution, house rules, lines of demarcation, everything out the f.u.c.king window.

You understand? Don't tell me to do the right thing, if I see you looking like that.” He glanced at the water. ”Because what I'ma do will be the right thing, and we both know it.”

He sealed the gap between them in the very quiet, private place where they stood. Both hands held the side of her face as his mouth lowered to hers. The kiss he delivered was gentle, asking permission to enter, gaining that in slow, dissolving increments as her lips parted, found his tongue and allowed her arms finally to hold him. For that brief moment that the earth stood still, she didn't care who saw or knew. Didn't care if she was making a mistake. She just needed someone who had never hurt her or frightened her or totally freaked her out to hold her. A man with no history, but who had all the history that was necessary when he'd pulled her into his arms, made her body begin to respond in normal, human levels of want with no magic at all, except what was inside his heart. And she was so dangerously close to the edge of doing something irreversible, if she hadn't already, that tears streamed down her face and added more salt to their kiss.

He knew it, she could tell, by the patient shudder that ran through him. The depth of his knowing came through in the heat in his hands, the deepening kiss that asked the silent question- When? They sought an answer with every stroke down her arms, every hitch in his breath, and tried to tell her a long story of hunger denied as though reading Braille against her back. His pulse strummed in her ears, and when his heartbeat synced up to hers she almost cried out and broke the kiss.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he hugged her hard.

”I know,” he said, seeming as though he couldn't take enough air into his lungs. ”You don't have to decide right this minute, but...

baby...”

”I know, but this is gonna change everything, be really messed up... but I can't go back to my room.”

”Come to my room, then.”

She looked up at him. ”I should have a long time ago in the compound, Jose. What have I done?”

”Same thing I did.” He found her mouth again, but this time the kiss was less patient, held agony within it. ”I'll get another room, in a different hotel.”

She didn't nod, but didn't shake her head no. The heat seal between them was too thick for her to move, and his hardness against her thigh said it all. His desire had entered her pores, along with years of hurt, unnecessary anguish... It made her close her eyes. ”I need to step back for a second.”

But he didn't let her go.

”Why do you think I gave you my blanket?”

She nodded. ”I knew the minute you handed it to me and Shabazz looked away.”