Part 11 (1/2)

”And I bet you get really p.i.s.sed off when you see injustice and corruption.” She kissed his cheek as his head found the crook of her shoulder.

”Oh, baby,” he murmured against her neck as his arms enfolded her tighter. ”I can't do this... be squeaky clean, always making the right choice, always answering the call to arms for some crazy s.h.i.+t in the world that's bigger than all of us.”

She rubbed his back. ”This s.h.i.+t is scarier than being a vampire?”

”Most definitely,” he said with a sigh. ”It was go for self. They was ruthless, I was ruthless, what-the-f.u.c.k-eva, wasn't no friends in the game. That s.h.i.+t was easy. The only person they could take as a hostage that woulda made me slow my roll, was you-and since you can hold your own, hey. But now. d.a.m.n.”

She nodded and hugged him harder. ”You're gonna be all right. We're gonna do this thing.”

He lifted his head and stared at her, his eyes glistening in the semidarkness. ”That's what I'm afraid of,” he said quietly. ”You were never ruthless. You never played games to the bone. Never lived some of what I lived. That's as much a part of me as this new thing I am. There's a part of me that misses the adrenaline rush of rolling like that... and the power. You never sat on a throne, and you cannot know what it is till you've done it.”

She listened to his quiet confession without judgment, applying the balm of healing through silent understanding. ”Baby, you'll integrate all of that over time, after we get through this major job we've gotta do. Like I've told you before, you have to take all of that cunning, and all of that master-of-the-game drama you have inside you, and use it for the good. If the Light spared you with this madness developing, then they must have had a higher purpose for you. They don't make mistakes and do things by accident, but they will use an accident that has occurred in the most awesome ways.”

”You keep telling me that, and I keep hearing that, but... y'all don't really know what goes on inside my head sometimes.”

He gave her a sly smile, followed by a deep kiss. ”Like, I miss this for instance,” he said, kissing her neck and making her chuckle. ”And I miss that, for instance,” he murmured, fondling her backside. Then he outstretched his arm and snapped, and looked over his shoulder and sighed. ”And I d.a.m.ned sure miss being able to change a room to go with my mood.” He chuckled sadly. ”Right about through here, there should be torches in the joint, you naked and sprawled in the center of my bed, in my lair; then I could get creative. Then I'd let you recover while I took underground limo service and work a deal to shut down the slime creeping out of the realms... then I'd come back before dawn, and, you know... we'd celebrate.” He shook his head. ”I don't do Navajo prints, okaaay.”

She laughed through the worry, and pushed him away with a teasing shove. ”So, okay, we'll have to do some things the old- fas.h.i.+oned way. Once all this is over, tell the builders to funk your place out the way you want to, and I'll promise to stop by and get naked in the center of your bed. A sister can do that, and sprawl, if that will chill you out.””Yeah, but d.a.m.n, ain't nothing like doing this,” he said with a snap of his fingers, gazing at her fireplace, ”and starting an inferno.”

He offered her a sheepish smile. ”Be honest, D. You loved it, didn't you?”

”I loved you,” she hedged, not willing to give into the dangerous fantasy.

”You had instant maid service,” he said, coming closer to her.

She looked away and began folding the blanket. ”I'll live.”

”But you liked some of the trappings of-”

”Carlos, baby. Let it rest.” Her tone had come out a little more forceful than intended. She made a tight, neat, pile of her duvet and put it on the chair across the room. ”That was then, this is now. Don't forget about the dark energies that are a real threat.

Focus on that and any solutions you can come up with. That's the priority. Me and you need to lock, develop a quick strategy, and then roll it out to the team within the next day or so. Even if we don't turn, as Neterus, we're not immune to the effects.

We've gotta be careful.”

When he didn't answer, she looked at him hard to be sure he was clear. ”Your mind is a weapon, and you'd been dwelling on the old powers so much that it gave you the blood hunger for a minute while you were in transition. The result was that when you drank alcohol, hanging out with a vamp buddy and probably has.h.i.+ng and rehas.h.i.+ng the old life, it made you sick as a dog- almost like you'd gone out and fed. You understand how dangerous something like that can be?”

”Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, losing all mirth in his tone. ”I know. My boy said the same thing, but, like I said, we ain't going out like that no more. I've felt like s.h.i.+t all day, but whatever was in my system pa.s.sed. So, I'm cool. No need to get Marlene to posse up and get everybody in the house bugging me about potentially being infected or my judgment being compromised.”

He looked at her; she held his gaze, considering. Tonight, all right. But if he had any more signs of flux, Marlene would be the first person she'd consult. Then she'd call Father Pat.

Several questions continued to nag her as she stared at him, though. One was, if he was going through a Neteru chemical flux and smelled as fabulous as he did last night, how did Yonnie countenance that with Tara present-especially with dark energies swirling that should have made Yonnie act off da hook? Even though they were boys, a male master vampire would go nuts and into instant battle bulk from just a whiff of male Neteru pheromone. Conversely, if Carlos was fluxing to vamp, she should have picked up that vamp tracer the second he was in her presence. Scratch waiting. As soon as Marlene came back, they needed to talk.

Then there was also the issue of her libido being on low tide when it came to him-even while he had a near apex going on. If there was dark energy afoot, and l.u.s.ting for Carlos was definitely one of her weaknesses, then she should have been all over the man. What was wrong with her? Every overture he made toward her didn't even make her stir... except for when she thought back on their old nights together. Yet, earlier that same day, when Jose had neared her, he'd made her so hot she was ready to jump out of her skin.

Carlos c.o.c.ked his head to the side. ”I thought we were supposed to be opening our third eyes to each other tonight?”

Damali glanced away. ”I just did it when I asked you about the blood hit. I respect your privacy, and wasn't trying to probe beyond that, uninvited.”

”D, maybe it's me, but you've seemed a little distant, lately... like, no matter what I do, I can't break in.” His eyes held hers captive. ”You're talking about being honest, hiding nothing from each other so we can do what we've gotta do as a team to address this new threat, and not looking backward-but I know a black mental box when I feel one. Talk to me.”

She swallowed hard and sent her gaze on the floor. She hadn't been able to see the flicker of silver in his eyes, much less the gorgeous solid ray they cast when he was thoroughly turned on. More than that, his skin didn't ignite under her palm any longer.

The hardest question to ask herself was, why not? How badly was he infected? How badly was she?”It's stress, baby, given the circ.u.mstances,” she said, hoping that her quick diagnosis was accurate. ”That's what's creating the box. I haven't been able to focus on my music, either. All the moving, running around, coming up with long stories to soothe insurance companies, negotiations to get the new compound built on safe lands, I mean, all of it was just probably catching up to me-then we just got whacked over the heads by this new, horrible, mad-crazy s.h.i.+t... Carlos, that's the only reason I can't focus to open up that private cell right now.”

”Yeah, okay,” he said quietly, glancing around the room for his duffel bag. ”I hear you, D. Stress. That's why we didn't mind lock anymore before we found out about this new drama, or your voice didn't shatter gla.s.s when I was with you, like it used to- okay. I know what's in the box now; we heard it late last night and this morning with the teams. New threat; that I can deal with as a reason. But before, what was that? Even now, truth be told, if that's all that's in there, I thought you said we'd tackle it as one?”

She wrapped her arms around her waist.

He began walking in a circle, looking on the floor for what wasn't in the room. ”Stress. I got you.”

”It affects women differently than men,” she said defensively. ”I was stressed before, too-since Philly.”

”Yeah, so I've been told,” he said coolly. ”All I'ma say is this, though-stress is being dead, in h.e.l.l, and having six levels of bulls.h.i.+t chasing you, without daylight as an option.”

He looked at her hard, then stared out the window. ”Get a total mind lock on with me now, then-since we're a so-called equal partner team.”

Damali closed her eyes, her body tensed. She couldn't do it. There was something inexplicable revolting her. ”Baby-”

”Do it now, or I'm walking!”

They stared at each other.

She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. No. She was not allowing him into her head with something she didn't understand within him. ”I'll get your clothes. They're in the living room.”

”And, as I recall,” he said, not budging, ”with all that chasing you, an Isis blade raised, and a whole house of Guardians in hot pursuit of your whereabouts, a sister didn't allow stress about real estate and insurance companies and a new CD to cool her off.

Maybe I'm not remembering things right?” He brushed past her and paced toward the living room in search of his bag. ”Yeah, D,” he yelled over his shoulder. ”We're both under serious stress.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

The path beside the country road was so dark you could barely see your hand in front of your face, unless, of course, you had Neteru night vision. But the way Damali was acting had cut him to the bone. He would have walked that path blind as a matter of pride, and there was also this thing called principle.

From the distance, he could see the lights on in the family house, and as he walked it amazed him how short the human memory was. Everything was immediate, temporal, in the present tense. Just like people could watch the news broadcasts and be horrified today, but forget about a major incident by the next afternoon's headlines. He could never figure that out; his brain simply didn't function like that. He remembered all, and knowledge was always power.

But the past didn't seem to matter to Damali unless an argument cropped up, and then the woman could rethread history all the way back to the dawn of time. He would have laughed at his situation if he weren't so angry. True, there were more important matters to think about, but at the moment, he just didn't have it in him.

His focus would become laser as soon as he took a walk and cooled off. If any OD jumped out of the bushes, he'd squash it, the way he felt right now. Besides, as far as contagion, things couldn't get any worse than they already were. They needed a solid plan, a way to bait the Chairman and Lilith out of hiding. He and Damali were the only ones who could do that, if she could get her head together enough to work as a team. But that was the problem, she wasn't used to doing that-she was only used to giving orders, and like he'd told her before, he wasn't some flunky lieutenant of hers. Not by a long shot.

Damali was downright wrong, the way he saw it. She'd obviously forgotten about how he stood by her side when she was sick.

Oh, like restarting a sister's heart and begging for her life in prayer-as a vampire, standing in a d.a.m.ned cold shower, willing her to live wasn't nuthin'? That, compared to a night out with his boy?

She was off the hook about silly s.h.i.+t. His timing might have been bad, but his intent wasn't. Had he known about all this infection madness, did she actually believe he would have gone out and gotten plastered? Then to have to be read the Riot Act by a d.a.m.ned alcoholic for a night out with his boy, simply because no matter what the circ.u.mstances, Rider would have a problem with Yonnie, even if they were going to a church for Bible study!

But, if he brought up the obvious past that he and Damali had shared, and spoken on the fact that she'd fluxed and lapsed while she was learning how to be a Neteru, she'd no doubt start arguing about how she was sick because of him in the first place.