943 Aversion (1/2)
Ning Que looked at the fist print on the tree and questioned, ”Why is it sinful?”
Sangsang did not say anything and headed back to the courtyard. He followed.
It was a bit chilly in the early spring. The tree inside the courtyard did not burgeon much. She stood under the tree, looked at its shivering branches and said, ”If it is not, then you should let me go.”
Because Ning Que thought it was just them being together instead of him trying to keep her in the human world, he should have no objection if she were to choose to leave.
”You can leave any time,” Ning Que said behind her.
Sangsang kept looking at the branches and saw a crow perched on the tree at the end of her sight line.
She continued, ”If I were to leave, then you will kill yourself.”
Ning Que did not say anything.
Sangsang turned to him and asked, ”Are you that desperate to kill me?”
It was the sixth time she had asked Ning Que that question, or thought of that in her heart.
”I just don't want you to leave.” Ning Que did not dodge from her and said, ”Even if you were to choose to leave, where will you go? You've been to the human world. How can you stand the cold and boring Divine Kingdom and spend your endless life there?”
Sangsang said, ”I belong there.”
Ning Que kept questioning, ”Where is there? You always say this is Haotian's world. The Divine Kingdom is also a part of Haotian's world. So what's the difference between the human world and the Divine Kingdom?”
Sangsang answered, ”Your Master is there right now.”
Ning Que asked, ”Why do you have to stop my Master? And why do you have to stop us? Aren't you curious about what's outside this world?”
”This is my world. I am the ruler of this world. My existence derives from the uniqueness of this world. If you want to destroy its uniqueness, then you will have to destroy me.”
Sangsang looked into his eyes and said calmly, ”This is the fundamental conflict between me and your Master and the Academy. There's no solution to it. If you insist, then you are seeking for my destruction.”
”Are you that desperate to kill me?”
That was the seventh time.
Ning Que looked at her calmly and said, ”Don't go. Be a real human and let's live this life together.”
Sangsang said, ”A real human will die.”
Ning Que said, ”We could achieve immortality through cultivation. Let's cultivate together.”
Sangsang said, ”I need to maintain the existence of this world.”
Ning Que asked, ”I don't understand. There must be other ways to solve this problem. Why do you have to guard this old world? What are you trying to protect?”
Sangsang asked back, ”I don't understand either. You and all those human beings throughout human history, why are you trying to go beyond this world? What are you trying to see?”
Ning Que answered, ”Simple as it is, we want to know what's out there.”
Sangsang said, ”But I don't.”
All her logic, or more precisely, every part of her life depended on the objectivity of the rules. If human beings had an instinctive desire for freedom, she had an instinct of self-consistency and seclusion.
Ning Que took one step forward and stood right in front of her.
The crow made an indifferent caw.
He held her hand and looked into her eyes, ”Be a real human. Then we can live together, cultivate together, shop, cook, eat and do a lot of other things together.”
Sangsang had never looked into the mirror ever since she came back to the human world. The moderate face and the lofty figure she had chosen could not made her happy. Therefore now she found the woman she saw inside Ning Que's eyes strange and disappointing.
”Why should I do that?”
”For the sake of mankind, and of course most importantly for me, please stay.”
Sangsang saw her ordinary face in his eyes. The image of that face was smashed and could no longer be gathered. Then she became indifferent again.
”No.” She looked at Ning Que calmly and said, ”Numerous years ago, human beings had chosen and awaken me from the chaotic state because they wanted me to bring them eternal peace.”
Ning Que did not know what to say. He could not understand why she reacted so dramatically to his words. He thought it was because of the humans' choice to awake her. Then he realized upon her following words that it was because of him.
”Now I understand that it is in their instinct to be curious about the outside world. But you are not one of those human beings because you don't belong to this world.” Sangsang looked at him and said, ”You came from outside this world. You know exactly what's out there. Ever since twenty years ago, you've been telling me what's in that world. I never forgot. And now I can see it even clearly from your consciousness.”
Ning Que felt a chill from inside out. He said, ”In that world… it's beautiful and lively. And there is abundant sunlight and warmth everywhere.”
”You are lying.” Sangsang was still very calm. She show no emotions but her words sounded like deafening thunder above Chaoyang City. Numerous people were shocked and looked above.
”In your world, it is dangerous everywhere. The sun has been flaming and could explode or extinguish at anytime. Most places are too cold. Neither the weak ordinary people nor stronger cultivators could survive in that world.”
Ning Que disagreed. ”A star can last for hundreds of millions of years. How could it explode at any time? It is true that coldness dominates most of the places, but it is an immense world. We can always find some place to stay.”
Sangsang said, ”Even if it can last for millions of millions of years, it's still a very short period of time compared with the eternity we need for lives to continue reproducing, not to mention that your world is doomed for extinction. Nothing will survive.”
Ning Que kept quiet for a long while and said, ”Perhaps something like memories would survive.”
Sangsang left no chance for tender feelings. ”There would be no warmth. No a thing. Extinction means the end, not eternity. That is the ultimate horror.”
Ning Que shook his head and said, ”That's not true… I admit that you are right, that the world out there would probably face extinction one day. But before that we have the everlasting time to explore to the end of the world, or even break through the world and find our way to a new one.”
Sangsang questioned, ”What if we could not find any way?”
Ning Que felt irritated and said, ”You have never lived in that world. How can you be sure that human beings won't be able to find a new world?”
”Because I am not a human being. I will never comfort myself with deceit.”
Sangsang looked at him and said calmly, ”Compared with my world, your world is more like hell. What you are trying to do could only remind me of you being the Son of Invariant Yama.”
It had been a long while since Ning Que heard this word last time — the Son of Invariant Yama. It was many years ago when the previous Great Divine Priest of Light and a few others insisted that he was the Son of Invariant Yama. Then they thought it was Long Qing for a short while. Later on it was Sangsang's turn.
Of course now he knew that there was no Invariant Yama. Or Haotian was Invariant Yama. But he had to admit that to some extent Sangsang was right.