175 Life is Full of Craziness II (2/2)
”As for reading, we have to borrow from sunlight or the lamplight, and how can we use the starlight!”
”Why not?”
”No feeling!”
”Are you reading a book, or feeling?”
”Idiot! Of course I have to feel good in reading!”
”Idiot! One can fall in love under starlight, why can't you find feeling in reading under starlight?”
Ning Que had already been stunned at their dispute and verbal fight beside the table. It was only until now did he realize this man was really turned into a pedantic by book, and started to believe why those Senior Brothers behind the Academy didn't show him much respect.
The scholar's face was flushed and his chest constantly fluctuating. Obviously he was not comparable to Chen Pipi in quarreling because he was advanced in age and poor in health. What's more, he quickly realized that the purpose of Chen Pipi to pay a special visit here and quarrel with him was clearly to distract him from reading books. Since he was so sure that he had figured out the evil intention of Chen Pipi, how could he allow Chen Pipi to make it?
”I won't talk to you!” He grievedly said, ”How can I finish reading so many books if I don't make full use of my time? You knew what you are doing now? Are you trying to kill me? You are destroying my life!”
Finishing this sentence, the scholar began to focus on reading and copying books again, regardless of the verb attacks from Chen Pipi.
Ning Que frowned at the thickly-dotted books on the bookshelf in the building, saying, ”Although there are many books here, if you concentrate on reading, you can quickly finish reading them even if those books in the old library of the Academy was accounted. What has made him so painful?”
Upon hearing these words, Chen Pipi shook his head with a bitter smile and led him to the cave.
It was strange that inside the cave it remained dry. From the crack between the rocks above a beam of faint sunlight shone in to lighten the cave, which was hence not so dim. Some unknown trees grew in the cave, with constant chirping of birds sometimes heard around them.
Looking up and down at the cave, Ning Que rested his eyes on the cliff wall, which suddenly made him stiffened and speechless.
There were many wooden frames on the cliff, looking like a bookshelf magnified for numerous times.
There are no nests, no treasures, no statues, nor potted plants but only one thing on those wooden shelves.
Those were books.
Countless books.
A whole cliff of books.
A mountain of books.
...
...
”Since the establishment of the Academy, it has never ceased collecting books. Over the past thousands of years, numerous books have been stored here, ranging from ancient books to more recent ones. So it is really painful for the scholar to read so many books.”
Glancing at Ning Que, Chen Pipi lamented over those dense books laying as high as ten meters, ”If knowledge can be calculated based on the number of books, then at least seventy percent of knowledge in the world is in the Academy.”
In Ning Que's eyes, the whole cliff of books was as astonishing as that inky ocean aroused on the Mountain Path during mountaineering, which pressed him too hard to take a breath. Then he barely woke up from the astonishment after a long time.
Climbing up along the steep ropeway on the edge of the cave, they came to the third shelf, and then continued to move ahead for about ten meters on a wooden plate which only allowed one person to pass each time. Ning Que stopped to look back at those dense books just before his eyes, gradually feeling confused. If those books had been collected from thousands of years ago, why they just grew slightly yellowish and faded even without being eroded by the environment. What was more strange was why those books exposed in the open air were not covered with thick dust?
Chen Pipi, who probably guessed his confusion, said with a smile, ”When you enter a certain state, you will probably know it's quite easy to remove dust from those books. With just a slight rise of your finger, the wind in the cave will do it for you.”
Ning Que was suddenly enlightened, who then immediately thought, if Sangsang could pursue cultivation, it would be easier for her to do the housework. While thinking, he randomly drew a book from the shelf, the cover of which wrote ”Notes about Liangjing”. Figuring it might be notes from a man of letter, he opened the book where words like white butt, rubbing to and from, protruding tongues and newly stripping bumped into his eyes, making him somewhat stiffened.
He asked in great surprise, ”Even erotic books are collected?”
Chen Pipi answered, ”The Headmaster of Academy said to open a book is always beneficial, and then how can we decide if it is good or not based on its title? If there is shit in your heart, you will regard everything as shit. If you are obscene, you will be disturbed by just reading seven volumes of sealed books. So they won't disturb you if you don't regard them as erotic books in heart.”
Ning Que couldn't help but looked admiringly at looked at the solemnness on his plump face, sincerely asking, ”Then what do you regard them as?”
”Me?” Chen Pipi waved his sleeves and calmly answered, ”I haven't reached that state. Since they are erotic books,I can't regard them as other things. So don't push yourself too hard in such things.”
Ning Que looked at him and sighed with no more words.
...
...
To a man who was keen on reading and regarded reading as the most important and the only thing in his life, a whole cliff of books which seemed to be countless was no doubt a big treasure, and also a big tragedy. Because it was after all an impossible mission to finish reading countless books during one's lifetime.
Out of the Cave, Ning Que looked back at the old scholar who was holding that volume of book, who sometimes chanted or copied books, to show his happiness or sorrowfulness. Then he somewhat understood why he behaved so extremely and anxiously.
So he walked to the table, and made a deep bow with two hands folded in the front towards the aged scholar, sincerely rather lacking in a deep gift to the old scholar, sincerely consulting, ”Uncle, if finally you can't finish reading those books, what will you do? Won't you feel disappointed? What drives you to read on?”
Unlike Chen Pipi who called him scholar, Ning Que called him uncle, because he had entered the mountain earlier than him and was older than him, and more because Ning Que had a sense of inexplicable respect towards those who were persistent enough to do things in such an extreme.
Perhaps he had found the sincerity from Ning Que's tone, or perhaps he had found something in common with Ning Que, the aged scholar didn't wave his hand impatiently to drive Ning Que away, instead, he slowly put down the volume of book.
Then he recalled, ”I forgot how old I was when I started to study in the mountain, but I remember when I was twenty, I thought myself to be able to finish reading all the books in the world.”
Ning Que quietly listened to him.
The scholar continued, ”But when I was fifty, I found it was impossible, because while I was reading, others were constantly writing new books. Moreover, as I grew older, I became less energetic and read slower. What's more horrible thing is that I started to forget all those books that I read at a young age now.”
Looking at Ning Que's eyes, he smiled and said, ”If you can't recall the books you have read, how you can say you have read them? So I have to pick up those books again and began to copy them while reading for fear that I may forget them again.”
Ning Que asked, ”Then won't that be even slower?”
”Yes.” The scholar sighed and replied, ”So I've already know that I could not finish reading all the books of the world in my life, even just those collected by the Academy.”
Ning Que asked with his eyebrows slightly frowned up, ”Won't you feel disappointed?”
”Far more than that, completely desperate.”
The scholar shook his head and said, ”The day I realized I couldn't finish reading all the books collected here, I felt the whole world collapsed. I didn't want to eat nor sleep; even... didn't want to read books.”
Ning Que could imagine how mentally-shaken a man was when he chose to stop reading books when all he could do was to read books and nothing else for the past years. He naturally related it with his mental state these days and sincerely consulted after a moment of silence, ”Uncle, How did you overcome the barrier?”
”Because I asked myself a question.”
The scholar said, ”Do you really like reading itself, or reading all the books?”
”Not after a long time I came up with the answer and what I really like is reading itself.”
”Now I am already 102 years old, and perhaps will close my eyes forever some day. But I can never be sure when I will die, then so long as I continue reading, what does it matter if I can't finish reading them? I can comfort myself that every minute and every second before I die, I have been doing my favorite things. Then I will feel happy and satisfied.”
...
...
”Do you really like cultivation? Or killing others after reaching a certain state in cultivation?”
”I need to think carefully about this issue.”
Walking on the Mountain Path behind the Academy, Ning Que recalled his previous dialogue with the old scholar. Faintly he understood something very important. Listening to the melodious music from the cliff terrace, he slowly stopped.
Chen Pipi looked at him and asked after quite a long time of silence, ”Do you figure it out?”
”Yes, what I really like is cultivation itself.”
Accompanied by the melodious music, Ning Que thought of these things encountered in the Back Mountain of the Academy these days.
Two Senior Brothers were addicted in chess game regardless of their hunger. Two others were immersed in vertical bamboo flute and lyre regardless of the surroundings. Eleventh Brother wore hairpins allover his head, who looked like a madman but was regardless of others' peculiar eyes. The uncle reading outside the cave persisted in reading books so enthusiastically although he was already one hundred years old.
He also recalled the year when he rolled around in the woods of Min Mountain for the excitement after making some progress in the art of archery, the year when he screamed out of ecstasy with the sharpenness of his knife skill in the frontier fortress of the City of Wei, last year when he smiled towards the stars against the west window of the old library and every night when he became stiffened at the table...
”Everyone will encounter many problems. If you want to solve these problems, one must concentrate on it and use the impulsion from your craziness. But the craziness must not be as heavy as the mountains that compressed on your shoulders; instead, it should grow towards the joy which you are yearning for in the deepest of your heart.”
Looking at the beautiful Back Mountain of the Academy, Ning Que said, ”I used to be crazy about cultivation, yet I forgot the root of this craziness is my passion in it, where there's no fabricated hope, fabricated disappointment, nor despair. Life is like answering a set of questions, it is full of different type of craziness and passion. If you like something, then just do it. I believe in the end, one will be able to find the answer to a question.”