Part 14 (1/2)

It is admitted that married men have better halves but it is claimed that bach.e.l.lors generally have better quarters.

BAGGAGE

TOMMY (just off train, with considerable luggage)--”Cabby, how much is it for me to Latchford?”

CABBY--”Two s.h.i.+llings, sir.”

TOMMY--”How much for my luggage?”

CABBY--”Free, sir.”

TOMMY--”Take the luggage, I'll walk.”

BALDNESS

BALD HEADED GUEST--”Well, sonny, what is it that amuses you?”

YOUNG HOPEFUL--”Nothing; only mother has put a brush and comb in your bedroom.”

SCEPTIC--”If you have such an infallible remedy for baldness, why don't you use it?”

SUBTLE BARBER (very bald)--”Ah, sir, I sacrifice my appearance to bring 'ome to clients the 'orror of 'airlessness.”--_Punch_.

”That bald-headed man who just went out is the greatest optimist I ever met,” said the druggist.

”That so?” asked the customer.

”Yes,” replied the druggist. ”When I guaranteed my hair restorer he bought a bottle, and bought a comb and brush because he felt sure he'd need them in a few days.”

Two traveling men, who had not met in several years, were condoling with each other on their increasing baldness.

”Well,” said Jones, ”one comfort is that it's only brain workers who lose their hair.”

”Yes,” Smith answered, ”only thinkers ever become bald. Isn't that so, Sam?” appealing to the porter.

”Well, I dunno 'bout dat,” the darky replied. ”My granddad said dat an empty bahn doan need no cover.”

BANKS AND BANKING