Part 8 (1/2)

I took a deep breath. If I hadn't been lost in the fog of Luke and I, I probably would have seen this coming more clearly. Maybe I'd even want that second chance.

”I don't think I properly gave you a first chance, Richard. And that wasn't your fault-it was entirely mine. I was unfair to you.” I needed to be honest with him. ”It's just, I've had feelings about someone else for a very long time.” I stared into my wine, embarra.s.sed that I'd perhaps led him on, even though I'd truly been trying to get over Luke when we dated.

”Luke,” he said and I cringed. Was it that obvious? I nodded.

”But you're not together?”

My heart ached at his words. ”No, we're not together.”

”Have you ever been? I mean, is it unrequited?”

My cheeks heated. It felt wrong talking to him about this, especially as Richard had just declared he'd been crazy for me. ”There was a brief . . . I really have no idea.” Luke had told me that he had feelings for me-romantic feelings-and the s.e.x had been incredible, but I didn't know what future there might be for us. All I knew was that I wasn't ready to move on from him. Not yet.

Richard's fingers crept along my arm. ”He's a fool if he doesn't love you.”

”Richard . . .”

”I mean it. I get that you're caught up with him, but if he doesn't get what an amazing, s.e.xy, funny person you are, then he's a giant idiot.”

I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry. He was being so kind and understanding. A huge part of me just wanted to be taken in his arms and comforted.

”If and when you're ready to start dating again, I'd try not to mess it up,” he continued.

”Richard-” He was being so nice, and I didn't know how to react.

”Don't say anything. Just think about it. No pressure.”

I opened my eyes and stared at my lap.

”Hey, don't be sad. I wasn't trying to induce depression.” He stroked my jaw. ”Come on,” he said, jumping off the sofa. ”You can help me with dinner. Maybe I can win you over with my mad chef skills. Let's press pause on this conversation for tonight, and just have a nice evening. Agreed?”

I smiled. It was just what he needed to say. I wanted time to process what he'd suggested. He was a good guy who wanted a second chance. I couldn't just dismiss that, could I? But at the same time, I wasn't ready to give up on my fairy tale.

A pause b.u.t.ton was exactly what the doctor called for.

Luke ”You look like my brother, but you can't be him. He doesn't come around here anymore,” Haven said, clearly looking through the peephole.

”Ha b.l.o.o.d.y ha, Haven. Let me in.”

I'd promised Haven I'd turn up to Sunday dinner this week. She'd been hara.s.sing me for days, but she'd been right. Ashleigh and I had to get through this-at least as friends-so I couldn't avoid her anymore.

The door swung open, but she was already halfway back down the corridor, and heading for the kitchen. ”Way to make me feel welcome.”

Jake stood at the counter, bent over what looked like a recipe book. ”Hey, mate,” I said.

He gave me a hug, his eyes bright. ”It's so good to see you. Thanks for coming. Haven's been a wreck with all this s.h.i.+t going on with you and Ash.”

My stomach dropped. I'd not thought about the impact on Haven. ”I'm sorry. I just needed a bit of s.p.a.ce.”

”You don't need s.p.a.ce from me, you d.i.c.khead,” she said.

”Not you, from Ashleigh. I didn't want it be difficult between you two, so I thought . . . I don't know.”

”He's here now, Haven. That's the main thing,” Jake said. ”It'll be a great night.”

”Is Ashleigh coming?” I asked. Haven had been pretty fierce when she'd told me to get over it and turn up for dinner. She'd said she was making Sunday night dinner mandatory and would tell Ashleigh the same thing.

”Of course she is. I've told you, there's no choice. You two need to find a way because I'm not having my family breaking apart.” Haven's voice quivered and Jake reached out to smooth circles on her back. ”Not now.” She moved away from him and scurried past me into the bathroom at the same time the door buzzer went. Jesus, I'd had no idea she was so upset.

”Can you get that?” Jake asked. ”I'll go and check on Haven.”

”Yeah, of course. G.o.d, I'm sorry. I-” I hated to see Haven sad. It was my job to protect her. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of her sorrow.

”Listen, don't worry about it. I'll explain in a bit . . . You see in Ash.” Jake hurried after Haven, and I went to answer the door.

Her smile faltered, just a tiny bit, when she saw me. ”Hey.” Her voice was quiet and unsure, and I had to muster up a burst of energy when all I wanted to do was stand and stare at her. To remind myself of her every soft curve.

I bent and kissed her on her cheek. ”It's good to see you, Ashleigh. It really is.” I inhaled her scent. It was a call home, a call to where I belonged. Every time I saw her I was more and more certain that we were meant to be together, that I needed her, wanted her . . . loved her. I'd been giving her some s.p.a.ce by not coming to Sunday dinner, but I'd also been giving myself some s.p.a.ce. It was too painful to be constantly reminded of what I desperately wanted but couldn't have. Of where I should be, who I should be with.

”Where's Haven and Jake?” She looked round the living room as we entered.

I frowned. ”The bathroom, I think. Haven got a bit upset. I think because the whole Sunday dinner thing. I mean, I've not been coming. I don't know about you.”

She shook her head. ”No, me neither. I thought-”

She thought she'd give me room to keep on with our ritual, and I'd tried to do the same. ”We should make more of an effort.”

She nodded, the light catching on her hair, highlighting her beautiful face. I had to look away. How had I gone so many years without being totally mesmerized by her?

”G.o.d, that's not like her to be upset about stuff like this.” She shuffled from one foot to the other. All I wanted to do was pull her close.

I held my breath as Haven's and Jake's voices became louder and doors opened and closed.

”So, it's this guy's fault,” Haven announced, pointing her thumb toward Jake.

”What is?” I asked as Haven hugged Ashleigh. Why was Jake getting the blame?

”Me getting emotional.” She pulled away from Ashleigh and put her arm around Jake's waist. ”He knocked me up.”

”What?” Ashleigh squealed. ”You're pregnant? That's amazing.”

”We wanted you both here, so we could tell you at the same time,” Jake said.

”Beth, too, but she's in Chicago, and I wasn't drinking when she popped in earlier in the week. And well, she guessed . . .”

”Wow, congratulations,” I said, shocked as I shook Jake's hand and pulled him into a hug. I looked Haven up and down, trying to spot evidence of a b.u.mp. She grasped at her stomach. My sister was pregnant. I was going to be an uncle. f.u.c.king h.e.l.l. I'd thought life was moving quickly before. ”You're a braver man that I.”

”Don't look at me like that.” I pulled her toward me, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. Pride knotted in my stomach. A huge wave of relief pa.s.sed through me that I'd never had an accident with Emma. I would have married her, of course, and it would never have been enough for me.

”I'm so proud of you,” I said, my cheek resting on her head. ”You're going to be an amazing mother.”