Part 25 (1/2)
”Four hours back if we have to drive.” Raven ran the calculations in his head. ”That gives us just enough time to get to the lab before the Halflings invade.”
”Not a lot of room for error,” Viper said.
”Never is.” Raven headed out the door with the other three on his heels.
Chapter 26.
Don't open that cupboard.”
Raven pulled his hand away from the door handle. Viper had warned him Andy was a little odd, but seriously? The guy answered the door with a monocle over one eye. He'd then inspected them by pulling each one into his house individually and slamming the door on the others. Once satisfied, he allowed everyone entrance and offered coffee. He currently was leading them into the kitchen while Viper explained what they were doing.
Andy peeled the paper away from a candy bar and took a bite. ”I've always liked Zero. I'll help anyway I can.”
Raven wasn't convinced the man was all there. He watched Andy place the half-eaten candy bar on the table. Which wasn't too weird, except there were two other half-eaten bars nearby - one on the counter and one by the coffee pot.
Raven pointed to a row of coffee cups on the counter.
Andy nodded. ”Yes, those are fine.”
Raven took one and filled his cup while Andy yammered about being rushed. Raven reached for the sugar jar and was stopped by a blood-curdling scream.
”Don't open that jar!”
His hand stopped midair.
Andy grabbed the jar and held it close to his chest. ”There's sugar in the fridge.”
”Okaaaay.” Before pulling the refrigerator door open, Raven looked this supposed genius over carefully. Andy nodded as if confused by all the fuss over opening a door. He still cradled the sugar jar.
They went into the living room and sat down. Steel reached for a magazine and Andy yelled, ”Don't open that!”
Raven's patience was running thin. Andy walked to a nearby bookcase and grabbed a different magazine and lobbed it at Steel. Rather than read it, Steel stared at Andy.
”I can't be too careful,” was all Andy offered by way of explanation.
Viper placed a paper on the coffee table. ”We worked the numbers on our way here. From what Raven says, these are the dimensions of the lab. He's estimated each room, but figures he's within a couple feet on all of them.”
”Good, good, good.” Andy put his monocle on his eye and studied the page. ”I know just what we need.”
Raven looked at him questioningly.
”A candy bar. Do you happen to have a candy bar?”
Anger started to boil in Raven's gut. If he just wasted four hours coming to talk to a nut ball who was scared of open cupboards and magazines, he'd kill Viper. Raven stood and headed for the front door.
”Because a candy bar will blow the lock off the t.i.tanium cage,” Andy continued. ”You should be ready for that in case you can't access the key.”
Raven turned to face him.
Viper explained, ”Andy created an explosive device that fits into a candy bar wrapper.”
Maybe dude wasn't so crazy after all. ”That's the reason for all the half-eaten candy bars?”
”I hate to waste them, but I'm so sick of chocolate I could scream. I actually tried screaming one day, but it didn't help.”
Raven nodded. ”Can you hook me up with a candy bar, Andy?”
”Sure. But that's nothing compared to what you'll need. I've been working on a new project. You're familiar with C4, right?”
Raven said, ”As much as any Halfling is.”
”Well, my new baby is smaller, more stable, and easier to use than C4. And it packs a heavier punch.”
Viper took a drink of his coffee. ”Have you field-tested it, Andy? We can't take any chances. This is a one-way mission.”
Andy blinked and the monocle dropped from his eye to dangle on its gold chain. ”I've tested. It's a go.”
”What do you call it?” Viper asked.
”Andy Soup,” he said proudly.
Raven leaned forward. ”It's a liquid?”
”No. It's a solid, but it's a little of this and a little of that, so ... Andy Soup. I thought about calling it Andy Lasagna, but it just didn't have a poetic ring to it. My baby's brilliant, though. You'll be able to carry it in on foot. One gym bag will haul it all.”
Raven nodded. ”Is it easy to set the charge? And how does it detonate? Wire, remotely? Can we set a charge with a digital detonator, and is there any way to stop it if something goes wrong?”
Andy stared at the ceiling and counted off the questions by raising his fingers one at a time. ”Yes. Either. Yes and it can be manually stopped if detonated digitally, but you have to be at the timer and it takes a full twenty seconds.”
Raven took in the room around him and realized it looked right out of a steampunk movie. Old World charm mixed with various pieces of copper and wire bundles that complemented the s.p.a.ce. Andy's monocle made more sense now. ”So if the timer reads fifteen, run.”
The explosive expert's face broke into a smile. ”Exactly.”
Raven threw his hands in the air. ”What can go wrong?” He started to drop his hand on a hat rack in the corner of the room.
Andy waved frantically. ”Don't lean on that. It's wired.”
Raven stopped cold and stared at the piece of furniture. ”Out of curiosity ...”
Andy nodded. ”Yes, the cupboard and the magazine are wired too.”
Raven's heart froze. ”Seriously?”
Andy stood and dropped his hands to his hips. ”I can't be too careful. Do you know how dangerous this is? If my stuff fell into the wrong hands ...” He shook his head.
Within an hour they were loaded and ready to leave. Raven, Steel, and Shadow had been careful not to touch anything else. Viper, on the other hand, had floated around the house comfortably, never worrying about opening a cupboard filled with explosives. He and Andy must be pretty close friends.