Part 19 (2/2)

She sat looking at me with her beautiful face all aglow her dark eyes fixed on mine with an intense and eager gaze. I looked at her and said not one single word. Layelah was the first to break the awkward silence.

”You love Almah, Atam-or; but say, do you not love me? You smile at me, you meet me always when I come with warm greetings, and you seem to enjoy yourself in my society. Say, Atam-or, do you not love me?”

This was a perilous and a tremendous moment. The fact is, I did like Layelah very much indeed, and I wanted to tell her so; but my ignorance of the language did not allow me to observe those nice distinctions of meaning which exist between the words ”like” and ”love.” I knew no other word than the one Kosekin word meaning ”love,”

and could not think of any meaning ”like.” It was, therefore, a very trying position for me.

”Dear Layelah,” said I, floundering and stammering in my confusion, ”I love you; I--”

But here I was interrupted without waiting for any further words; the beautiful creature flung her arms around me and clung to me with a fond embrace. As for me, I was utterly confounded, bewildered, and desperate. I thought of my darling Almah, whom alone I loved. It seemed at that moment as though I was not only false to her, but as if I was even endangering her life. My only thought now was to clear up my meaning.

”Dear Layelah,” said I, as I sat with her arms around me, and with my own around her slender waist, ”I do not want to hurt your feelings.”

”Oh, Atam-or! oh, my love! never, never did I know such bliss as this.”

Here again I was overwhelmed, but I still persisted in my effort.

”Dear Layelah,” said I, ”I love Almah most dearly and most tenderly.”

”Oh, Atam-or, why speak of that? I know it well. And so by our Kosekin law you give her up; among us, lovers never marry. So you take me, your own Layelah, and you will have me for your bride; and my love for you is ten thousand times stronger than that of the cold and melancholy Almah. She may marry my papa.”

This suggestion filled me with dismay.

”Oh no,” said I. ”Never, never will I give up Almah!”

”Certainly not,” said Layelah; ”you do not give her up--she gives you up.”

”She never will,” said I.

”Oh yes,” said Layelah; ”I will tell her that you wish it.”

”I do not wish it,” said I. ”I love her, and will never give her up.”

”It's all the same,” said Layelah. ”You cannot marry her at all. No one will marry you. You and Almah are victims and the State has given you the matchless honor of death. Common people who love one another may marry if they choose, and take the punishment which the law a.s.signs but ill.u.s.trious victims who love cannot marry, and so, my Atam-or, you have only me.”

I need not say that all this was excessively embarra.s.sing I was certainly fond of Layelah, and liked her too much to hurt her feelings. Had I been one of the Kosekin I might perhaps have managed better; but being a European, a man of the Aryan race--being such, and sitting there with the beautiful Layelah lavis.h.i.+ng all her affections upon me--why, it stands to reason that I could not have the heart to wound her feelings in any way. I was taken at an utter disadvantage.

Never in my life had I heard of women taking the initiative. Layelah had proposed to me, she would not listen to refusal, and I had not the heart to wound her. I had made all the fight I could by persisting in a.s.serting my love for Almah, but all my a.s.sertions were brushed lightly aside as trivial things.

Let any gentleman put himself in my situation, and ask himself what he would do. What would he do if such a thing could happen to him at home? But there such a thing could not happen, and so there is no use in supposing an impossible case. At any rate I think I deserve sympathy. Who could keep his presence of mind under such circ.u.mstances? With us a young lady who loves one man can easily repel another suitor; but here it was very different, for how could I repel Layelah? Could I turn upon her and say ”Unhand me”? Could I say ”Away!

I am another's”? Of course I couldn't; and what's worse, if I had said such things Layelah would have smiled me down into silence. The fact is, it doesn't do for women to take the initiative--it's not fair. I had stood a good deal among the Kosekin. Their love of darkness, their pa.s.sion for death, their contempt of riches, their yearning after unrequited love, their human sacrifices, their cannibalism, all had more or less become familiar to me, and I had learned to acquiesce in silence; but now when it came to this--that a woman should propose to a man--it really was more than a fellow could stand. I felt this at that moment very forcibly; but then the worst of it was that Layelah was so confoundedly pretty, and had such a nice way with her, that hang me if I knew what to say.

Meanwhile Layelah was not silent; she had all her wits about her.

”Dear papa,” said she, ”would make such a nice husband for Almah. He is a widower, you know. I could easily persuade him to marry her. He always does whatever I ask him to do.”

”But victims cannot marry, you said.”

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