Part 21 (1/2)

I made myself smile politely, and asked her how I could serve her.

She looked deep into my eyes, then shook her head, as if not finding something she'd been expecting.

Finally, she said, ”In the pa.s.s, we talked about how I might repay you for saving me, about what might happen... if we lived.”

I remembered, but said nothing. For some reason, I felt a bit of not-rational anger. All I wished was to be left alone, and it seemed that wish would never be granted. ”Is this Tenedos's idea?”

Anger flashed in her eyes, she began to snap an answer, then caught herself.

”Laish Tenedos pays my wages to make his desserts. No more.” She stood. ”Do you wish me to leave?”

I almost said yes. But there was one tiny bit of sense left, and I shook my head. She put her hand on my shoulder. After a moment, I put my hand over hers.

I felt little hunger, but forced myself to go to one of the dining halls and have a bit of soup. Then I walked in one of the gardens, not feeling the chill for the greater cold within, until it was quite late.

Jacoba was already in the great bed, carefully curled to one side. I undressed as quietly as I knew how, and slipped in beside her, lying on my side. I felt no pa.s.sion, no l.u.s.t, not much of anything in particular.

Her hand touched my bandaged leg, then moved up to my back and caressed it, not so much sensual as rea.s.suring. But the ice within me was too thick, and after a moment she sighed and rolled over. After a time her breathing became regular, and after a longer time, I slept.

The next day, Tenedos summoned me. ”You remember I said yesterday that your congratulations from your domina was just the beginning?” He held up a sheaf of dispatches. ”Here are special orders, sent by heliograph. You and I, and my staff and some of those who were with us on the terrible journey from Sayana, are requested by the Rule of Ten to attend them immediately, and give them a full accounting of the evils worked on Numantians by the barbarians of the Border States.

”We are to await the arrival of the paddles.h.i.+pTauler, which will be dispatched within a few days,” he went on, half-reading, ”during which time we are to gather our strength and enjoy the comforts the city leaders of Renan have been directed to provide.

”Then we are to proceed directly to Nicias and await their pleasure.” He looked up. 'This is where it shall start, my friend. They thought they were sending me into exile or perhaps my death, but Saionji wanted something else.

”Now they shall be forced to listen to me and realize the time has come for change.

”I tell you, Damastes, none of those who died with us died in vain if it brings about the great renaissance I've dreamt of.” He stood and paced back and forth excitedly. ”Yes, I can sense it, I can feel it. This is the beginning.”

I found polite words, but felt no inner thrill. But if Laish Tenedos, the Seer Tenedos, wished me to accompany him to Nicias, that was as good a place as any. Why not? Far from these mountains, perhaps the ice would melt. But it did not take that long.

That night, both Jacoba and I walked through the gardens. It was cold, and we wore heavy cloaks.

We found ourselves standing side by side under one of the huge trees of Urey. EvenX,though it was the Time of Storms, the monstrous multicolored leaves still clung to the branches. A few feet from us was one of the many sculptures the palace's gardens were filled with. I paid it little mind.

Jacoba lithely pulled herself up onto a thick branch that curled a few feet above the ground, so her eyes were at the same height as mine.

The night was sharp and clear. I looked out at the mountains, the awful peaks that marked the border to the Border States.

As I watched, a s.h.i.+mmer grew on them, the borealis. Someone spoke to me, a voice of thunder, a voice of silence, and perhaps it was the voice of a G.o.ddess, perhaps the voice of a little girl. Perhaps it came from the G.o.ds, perhaps from my good, hard common sense.

What the voice said was not in words, but it was very clear.

The world is death, the world is nothing but pain and a desperate fight to avoid returning to the Wheel, and then an equally headlong rush to be taken by it.

If that is how you choose to see it that is the way life is and always shall be,the voice went on.But do you think Captain Mellet and his men wanted death? Didn't they want life, want warmth, love, and the giggling embrace of a woman?

So Saionji took them, took them and the girl Allori. Does she also now own you?

”No,” I said, and wasn't aware I'd spoken aloud, vehemently, until Jacoba said ”What?” in a startled manner.

”I'm sorry,” I said, and turned away from the mountains and death and realized she was very close. Her lips were parted, and her breath was very sweet.

It seemed appropriate to kiss her, and so I did. Her arms fumbled for a moment, then found the entrance to my cloak and pulled me closer to her. I kissed her again, a very long kiss.

”I'm back,” I said.

Somehow she understood, or appeared to.

”That's good.”

I opened my cloak so it covered us both and we held each other, me standing, her on the branch, for a very long time, without moving. I kissed her once more, and her legs came around me, and took me into another embrace.

It was warm, comforting, welcoming me, and I felt my spirits lift.

Jacoba giggled.

”What's funny?” I asked.

”That statue.”

I peered at it through the gloom, and was grateful for the darkness. I still had some innocence. The stone showed some G.o.d loving a nymph. He held her lifted above the ground, hands cupped around her b.u.t.tocks, her legs wrapped around him, and on both their faces were expressions of goatish glee.

”What's funny about it?”

”Youknow a man carved it.”

”How can you tell?” I wondered. ”Other than it's, uh, fairly exact.”

”Ah, my handsome young cavalryman, but that's where you're wrong. It's not exact at all.”

”Why not?'

”Men aren't that strong,” she said. ”At least not for very long. If anybody... even a G.o.d... tried to make love like that, he'd be sure to fall. Probably on her, too.”

”Ah-hah,” I said. ”Further proof, my pastry chef, you should stick to matters of the kitchen, and not theorize wildly.”

”Prove I am wrong,” she said. ”That is, if your leg is up to it.”

”It's not my leg that's up,” I murmured, as my hands slid beneath her cloak, and lifted her tunic, and her small b.r.e.a.s.t.s sprang against my palms, nipples hard and firm. I ma.s.saged them, while my lips sought hers, then kissed down the silk of her neck. Her breath came faster against my ear.

She wore some sort of belted kirtle, and her hands unfastened it and pulled it away, then busied themselves with the ties of my trousers.

I moved both my hands down her sides and across her stomach, fingers entering and gently caressing her.”Sat gasped*pleasure. I slid my hands under her thighs and picked her up from the branch. Her hand held my c.o.c.k steady, and I let her slip down onto me, and she shuddered as I drove deep, breath shrilling, gasping and then she buried her shriek into the wool of my cloak as I shuddered and spasmed inside her.

We stood like that forever.