Part 11 (1/2)

Carmen had never quite gotten used to sleeping during the day, but she did her best to keep the same schedule as the Theronai dida”waking at night in order to fight the Synestryn. Of course, they didn't need nearly the same amount of sleep she and the humans did, and Joseph seemed to sleep even less than the rest of his kind. Whether it was because he didn't need it, or because there was simply no time, she wasn't sure.

It was late afternoon when she finally got the courage to seek Joseph out in his office. She knew he'd be awake and busy, but this was important.

It was time to suck it up, be brave, and let him read the note that Thomas had written nine months ago on the night he died. If it said horrible things about her, so be it. Carmen needed to move on with her plans, and this was the last thing holding her back.

She knocked on the open door. Joseph's head came up, and when he saw her, he smiled.

”Is it time for our training session already?” he asked, frowning at his watch.

”No, I came to give you this.” She held the letter out to him. It was a small bit of paper, folded and smudged with a drop of dried blood. It was wrinkled and worn from the hours she'd spent holding it, trying to find some connection to the man who had changed her life. He was dead now, but she liked to think that part of him lived on in her.

She was determined to make Thomas proud, wherever he was, which was why she'd spent hours every week training to become a warrior. She'd never be as strong as the Sentinels, or have any kind of magic power, but she'd worked her a.s.s off to learn to do the best job she could. After nearly a year of training, she felt it was time to move into the field and start hunting.

Joseph took the note. His long fingers slid over the drop of dried blood reverently, as if he were remembering his fallen brother. ”Are you sure?”

Carmen nodded. ”It's time.”

He unfolded the paper easily. She almost laughed, considering how many times she'd tried to do that very thing, only to have her hands go still and start shaking. She'd told Thomas she'd let Joseph read it first, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break that promise.

Joseph's hazel eyes scanned the page.There was no sign of emotion on his face. No revulsion, no disappointment. Nothing but a carefully controlled blank expression.

”Well?” she asked, twisting in antic.i.p.ation.

Joseph's throat worked as he swallowed before speaking. ”He was a good man. I forget sometimes how good.”

”Tell me.”

Joseph read from the paper:”*Claim this woman as your kin. Protect her as you would your own flesh and blood.All I possess is now hers to do with as she sees fit.'”

Shock and outrage slammed over Carmen, knocking her into a chair. ”How could he?”

Joseph's brows drew together in confusion. ”How could he what?”

She gripped the arms of the chair, trying to push herself up, but all her strength was gone. ”Claim me? Like I'm some kind of prize? What the h.e.l.l was he thinking?”

”That you needed protection. That I would be able to provide it.”

”You didn't even know me. You hardly know me now.” He sure as h.e.l.l didn't know about what a s.l.u.t she'd been all her life. Shame had forced her to hide that from him. ”How could he think to ask you to do something like this?”

Joseph moved around his desk toward her. ”It's no big deal. I've been treating you like a daughter since you walked through our door. It won't change anything between us other than to make our relations.h.i.+p official.”

”No. I don't need another father. The one I had was bad enough. And I already experienced the joy of being given to an uncle who didn't want the burden of raising another kid. I'm nineteen, perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and don't need anyone pitying me.”

”This isn't about pity.Thomas cared about you enough to see to your safety as well as your future.”

Anger erupted inside her, making her shake. She pushed herself up, getting in Joseph's face. ”Of course it's about pity. Thomas saw me as some sort of charity case. Poor, s.l.u.tty little girl with no one to love her. Screw that!”

Joseph's frown deepened. ”s.l.u.tty? What are you talking about?”

She wasn't going to tell him how she'd thrown herself at Thomas. How he'd known she was so desperate that he'd felt the need to guilt her into keeping her legs closed.

Carmen shook her head. ”You don't know me at all. I suppose it's best that way.”

”I know you better than you think. We've spent hours together. I've seen your strength and courage and so much stubbornness you could easily be my daughter. I've been known to have a bit of a hard head myself.”

”No. This isn't going to happen.” She was not going to be anyone's charity case, tied to someone out of guilt and some stupid tradition. She was not going to be handed off to yet another man who didn't want to have anything to do with her.

”Too late. It already has. This is Thomas's death wish, and I'm honor-bound to uphold it. From now on, you're my daughter, and I plan to make sure everyone knows it.”

Nika woke up suddenly, as if someone had shouted her name. It wasn't the first time this had happened. She'd felt this before when someone was in need.

She opened herself up, reaching out with her mind to find the source of that need. Maybe Tori had called for her and was ready to let her in again.

Nika lay quiet and still in a bed not her own. Madoc's scent clung to the sheets, comforting her, making her feel stronger, braver.

Nika! The call came again. It was a ragged cry of pain, tight with fear and so powerful it left her mind reeling.

It wasn't Tori. For a moment, Nika suffered a stab of disappointment until she realized the masculine nature of that cry for help. It was Madoc.

She flung the covers off and hurried toward him, desperate to get to him before it was too late. Whatever was wrong was killing him, sapping his strength and his will to live.

Sunlight filtered in through heavy curtains covering the windows, allowing her to see where she went.

Nika didn't have to go fara”just into the next room. He was lying on his side on the living room floor right outside the bedroom door. His body curled in on itself, shaking with pain. His sword lay within arm's reach, unsheathed, as if he'd been intending to use it. A sheet was twisted about his hips, but the rest of him was beautifully bare, displaying powerful muscles that tightened and bunched as they clenched in his sleep.

Suddenly, the urge to touch him was irresistible. Her hands began to shake against the need to slide over his naked skin. Her body warmed until she was sure her nightgown would lift off of her body from the waves of heat radiating out from her. Not that she'd mind if it did. The idea of pressing herself against him while naked made her nipples tingle and tighten. She'd never felt this way about anyone before in her life, and it was as unsettling as it was exciting.

She knelt beside him and splayed her trembling hand on his shoulder.

The warmth of his skin always shocked her, and for a moment, she closed her eyes and let that delicious heat sink into her. She spread her hands flat and let them slide over the masculine contours of his body, touching him as he'd never allowed her to do while he was awake.

She didn't know why he avoided her touch, but right now, that hardly seemed to matter in the face of so much sensation. Her body was rejoicing, every cell singing in praise as it soaked in his heat. She could get lost in the sensation of flesh on flesh, though something in the back of her mind warned her that wasn't why she was here. She had a job to do, but couldn't quite remember what it was.

The curve of his shoulder was hard and smooth. It led to his thick neck, where the luminescent band of his luceria lay against his skin. The necklace s.h.i.+mmered in time with the beat of his heart, drawing her eye, making her ache for something she couldn't name.

Andra wore Paul's luceria now, and everyone here had told her that when she found the right man, she'd wear his, too.

She wanted Madoc to be that man, despite his abrasive nature. Despite the fact that he didn't want her.

Nika slid her finger over the band, enjoying the slippery feel of it, wis.h.i.+ng it was hers and that she could keep it against her skin forever.

Surely that feeling wasn't normal. She'd never felt that way toward any of the other Theronai who'd come to her over the past few months. She'd never been drawn to them, wis.h.i.+ng for things that had no names, feeling the loss of their presence when they left her side. Only Madoc made her feel that way.

Maybe he was wrong about their not being right for each other. Maybe if she tried, she could prove to him they were compatible. Maybe then he wouldn't mind being near her.

She gave the luceria an experimental tug. Andra had told her all about how she'd done the same and Paul's luceria had fallen off easily.

Madoc's didn't budge.

She pulled harder, but all she seemed to do was make the section where her fingers touched fade even more, losing the color Madoc seemed to think was so important.