Part 42 (1/2)
”You said I'd win,” I said, and held out my arms.
She hugged me closely for a moment.
”My dear,” I whispered, ”it's nothing--without you--nothing!”
We didn't speak for some seconds. Then she slipped from my hold. ”Look!”
she said, smiling like winter suns.h.i.+ne. ”I've had in all the morning papers--the pile of them, and you--resounding.”
”It's more than I dared hope.”
”Or I.”
She stood for a moment still smiling bravely, and then she was sobbing in my arms. ”The bigger you are--the more you show,” she said--”the more we are parted. I know, I know--”
I held her close to me, making no answer.
Presently she became still. ”Oh, well,” she said, and wiped her eyes and sat down on the little sofa by the fire; and I sat down beside her.
”I didn't know all there was in love,” she said, staring at the coals, ”when we went love-making.”
I put my arm behind her and took a handful of her dear soft hair in my hand and kissed it.
”You've done a great thing this time,” she said. ”Handitch will make you.”
”It opens big chances,” I said. ”But why are you weeping, dear one?”
”Envy,” she said, ”and love.”
”You're not lonely?”
”I've plenty to do--and lots of people.”
”Well?”
”I want you.”
”You've got me.”
She put her arm about me and kissed me. ”I want you,” she said, ”just as if I had nothing of you. You don't understand--how a woman wants a man.
I thought once if I just gave myself to you it would be enough. It was nothing--it was just a step across the threshold. My dear, every moment you are away I ache for you--ache! I want to be about when it isn't love-making or talk. I want to be doing things for you, and watching you when you're not thinking of me. All those safe, careless, intimate things. And something else--” She stopped. ”Dear, I don't want to bother you. I just want you to know I love you....”
She caught my head in her hands and kissed it, then stood up abruptly.
I looked up at her, a little perplexed.
”Dear heart,” said I, ”isn't this enough? You're my councillor, my colleague, my right hand, the secret soul of my life--”
”And I want to darn your socks,” she said, smiling back at me.
”You're insatiable.”
She smiled ”No,” she said. ”I'm not insatiable, Master. But I'm a woman in love. And I'm finding out what I want, and what is necessary to me--and what I can't have. That's all.”