Part 13 (2/2)
”For G.o.d's sake, what _are_ you about?” whispered Mr. Kriver. ”Turn a leaf!” Baron Shoskuty, turning a leaf, and looking the picture of blank despair, continued:
”Here thou seekest vainly for science--vainly for patriotic merits--vainly dost thou seek for all that mankind have a right to be proud of----”
The members of the deputation became unruly.
”They are peasants, thou beholdest,----”
Here a storm of indignation burst forth.
”In their Sunday dresses----”
”Are you mad, Baron Shoskuty?”
”But good Christians, all of them,” sighed the wretched baron, with angelic meekness: ”there is not a single heretic among my flock.”
”He is mad! let us cheer!--Eljen! Eljen!”
”Somebody has given me the wrong pelisse!” said Shoskuty, making his retreat; while the lord-lieutenant replied to the address to the best of his abilities, that is to say, very badly, for he was half choked with suppressed laughter.
But the curate, who had displayed so unusual a degree of nervousness at the commencement of the address, followed Shoskuty to the next room, whither that worthy man fled to bemoan his defeat.
”Sir, how dare you steal my speech?” cried the curate.
”Leave me alone! I am a ruined man, and all through you!”
”Well, sir; this is well. You steal my speech, and read it. Now what am I to do? I made that speech, and a deal of trouble it gave me. Now what am I to tell the bishop at his visitation on Monday next?”
”But, in the name of Heaven, why did you take my cloak?”
”_Your_ cloak?”
”Yes; _my_ cloak. I am sure my speech is in your pocket.”
The curate searched the pockets of the pelisse, and produced a ma.n.u.script. ”Dear me!” said he, wringing his hands; ”it _is_ your cloak.” And the discomfited orators were very sad, and would not be comforted.
CHAP. VIII.
Dustbury is the chief market town of the county of Takshony. While the Greeks of old built their cities in the clefts and hollows of rocks, as the learned tell us, we are informed that the vagrant nation from which we are descended were wont to settle on fertile soil; wherever our ancestors found luxurious crops of gra.s.s and a fountain of sweet water, there did they stop and feed their flocks. In this spirit they made their earliest camp at Dustbury. But when the tents gave way to houses, the luxuriant green of the pasturage disappeared, and the fountains of sweet waters, which invited our fathers to stay and rest on their banks, stagnated, and became a vast substantial bog. Still, if you look at the streets of Dustbury in autumn, and if you take notice (for who can help it?) of the deep cart-ruts in the street, you must confess that Dustbury does indeed lie in Canaan; and throughout many weeks in every year even the least patriotic of the natives of Dustbury find it difficult, and even impossible, to leave the city. The houses of Dustbury are intersected and divided by a variety of narrow lanes and alleys, which, by their intricacy, are apt to perplex the stranger within her gates.
They have a striking family likeness. Except only the council-house and a few mansions, they are all, to a house, covered with wood or straw; and so great is their uniformity, that the very natives of Dustbury have been known to make awkward mistakes. A great deal might be said of the modern improvements of the town,--such as the public promenade, the expense of which was defrayed by a subscription; and the plantations, containing trees (the only ones in the neighbourhood), which are protected by the police, and which left off growing ever since they were planted. There was a plantation of mulberry-trees, too; but it dated from the days of the Emperor Joseph; and no more than three mulberry-trees were left in it to tell the tale of departed glory. Next, there is the pavement, which a French tourist most unwarrantably mistook for a barricade; though, for the comfort of all timid minds, be it said, that the pavement has since been covered with a thick layer of mud, so as to be perceptible to those only who enter the town in a carriage. I could adduce a variety of other matters to the praise and glory of Dustbury, but I abstain; and, leaving them to the next compiler of one of Mr. Murray's Handbooks, I introduce my readers into the council-house of Dustbury, and the lord-lieutenant's apartments.
The great man's antechamber was thronged with men of all parties, who, ”armed as befits a man,” waited for the moment--that bright spot in their existence!--which allowed them to pay their humble respects to his Excellency. Rety, Bantornyi, Baron Shoskuty, Slatzanek, and all the county magistrates and a.s.sessors, were there, either to report themselves for to-morrow's election, or to offer their humble advice to the royal commissioner. And truly their advice was valuable. One man said that X., the juror, was a man of subversive principles, and that the crown was in danger unless X. was to lose his place and Z. to have it. Another man protested that Mr. D. must be sworn as a notary: in short, every one had the most cogent reasons for wis.h.i.+ng a certain place out of the hands of the very man who held it. The crowd dispersed at the approach of the evening. Some went to their club-rooms to harangue the Cortes, while others were busy preparing a serenade for the lord-lieutenant. That great man, meanwhile, tired out with his own kindness and condescension, promenaded the room, and talked to his secretary.
”So you think,” said his Excellency, ”that things will go on smoothly to-morrow?”
”Smoothly enough, except for those who may happen to get a drubbing.
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