Part 15 (1/2)
”Thelema.”
”What?”
”This is the Abbey of Thelema, the place for the discovery of your True Will.”
”I already know my will! I told you-”
”If you knew it, you would satisfy it.”
Brother Paul paused. On one level, this was nonsense, but on another it seemed to make uncanny sense. ”You're saying I only think I know my will, and I am getting nowhere because I am pursuing a false will? An illusion?”
Therion nodded. ”Now you begin to perceive the problem. First you must truly understand your objective; only then can you achieve it.”
”Well, I thought I understood it. But somehow I keep getting turned aside, as though I were a victim of Coriolis force.” He paused, charmed by the revelation.
Coriolis force-a prime determinant of weather on any planet. A ma.s.s of air might try to move from a high pressure zone near the equator to a low pressure zone to the north or south, but the shape and rotation of the planet diverted it to the side, because the surface velocity of rotation was greater at the equator than at the polar lat.i.tudes. Well, it was a difficult concept for the layman to grasp, but essential for the meteorologist. It was as though nature herself were fouled up by the system, causing the endless repercussions, instabilities, and changes that const.i.tuted the weather. Was there such a thing as a mental Coriolis force, so that a given urge could not be consummated directly unless the full nature of the human condition were understood? Yet this was hardly a perfect a.n.a.logy, for the human mind was not a planetary surface, and human thoughts were not mere breezes. The situation was more dynamic, with force being diverted at right angles to- ”Precession!” he cried aloud.
Therion glanced up benignly. ”Yes?”
”Precession. The factor that seems to change the direction of force applied to a gyroscope or a turning wheel. When properly exploited, as with a bicycle, it is a stabilizing influence, but when misunderstood, it stymies every effort to-”
Therion shook his head. ”Can you explain it to me more precisely?”
”It is a technical term. It affects the Earth and all rotating things, and thus man's technology and mythology. The precession of the equinox...” He took a breath. ”Simply, there is a great deal of rotational inertia in a spinning object, and when you apply an external force to change its orientation, you must deal with that inertia. If you understand this, and know the precise vectors-”
Therion smiled. ”Thus your ignorance stops you here, because the inertial velocity of the mind is more complex than any casual survey can reveal. Know thyself-or as I prefer to put it, do what thou wilt.”
”Yes,” Brother Paul agreed, at last appreciating the man's meaning. A person could not do what he really wanted to do, unless he understood himself well enough to know what he wanted. What he really wanted, not what in his ignorance he thought he wanted. Many people were stuck on the ignorant route, questing tirelessly for wealth or power that brought them only unhappiness. Others quested for happiness, but defined it purely in material terms. Still others, trying to correct for that, insisted on defining it in purely nonmaterial terms, seeking chimeras. As perhaps Brother Paul had been doing, himself. ”My ultimate will is more subtle and devious than I myself can appreciate consciously. Since these Animations are at least in part drawn from my unconscious, I suffer precession when I attempt to direct them by purely conscious thought. Thus I wind up veering away at right angles, battling the Dragon of Temptation, and G.o.d only knows what else!”
Therion nodded again, looking like a somewhat seedy street philosopher. ”I also know what else: it was your own conscience you battled.”
”You know, you're not a bad guide, at that,” Brother Paul said. ”You have had a better notion of my true will than I. But as with leading a horse to water-”
”The whole of the law,” Therion agreed.
They had been meandering through the gaunt, empty castle. Now they entered an upper chamber- and spied a woman. She reclined in a huge cup, so he knew this had to be another vision of the Seven of Cups, that he had to deal with one way or another. He suspected that the original cup he had chosen, that of the castle, had been merely an entry point; he was required to taste the contents of all seven before he was through. Had he chosen the lady first, he would have found the skull, Temptation, and the castle interposing, though perhaps in a different order. With precession, there was no direct or easy route to an objective. But now this woman; she was a marvel of organic symmetry and cultural aesthetics, with hair like summer wheat...
”Amaranth!” Brother Paul breathed.
”Beg pardon?” Therion inquired.
Of course this man would not know about the private name Brother Paul had for the Breaker-lady. But now he was sure; Amaranth had gotten into this Animation, and here she was, the actress in a very special role. The major characters in these scenes were played by living people, reciting their lines, as it were, or perhaps extemporizing according to general guidelines. ”A private thought, irrelevant,” Brother Paul said, and knew he was lying. Since to him a lie was an abomination, he had to correct it immediately. ”I believe I recognize this woman. She-”
”The female exists but to serve the male,” Therion remarked.
So the man wasn't really interested in the ident.i.ty of this woman. To him, women were interchangeable, covered by a general blanket of animosity. Well, Brother Paul was amenable to that game, in this case; from what he knew of Amaranth, she would quickly disabuse all comers of such notions.
Brother Paul approached the lady. ”In what way do you reflect my hidden will?”
he asked her.
She unfolded from the cup and stood before him, as lovely a creature as he could imagine. ”I am Love.”
Love. That was rather more than he had bargained on. ”Sacred or profane?” he inquired somewhat warily. ”I am here on a religious mission.”
”He claims he loves G.o.d, not woman,” Therion put in.
”I love G.o.d and woman!” Brother Paul snapped. ”But my mission requires-”
Amaranth stretched, accentuating her miraculous b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and Brother Paul recognized Temptation in another guise. He knew that Animation was not enhancing her appearance; it was every bit as enticing in life. A woman who was beautiful only in Animation-but of course physical appearance should not be the prime appeal.
”You fought valiantly to achieve this castle,” Therion pointed out. ”Do you now reject what it holds for you?”
”Precession brings this woman; what I seek is elsewhere.”
”How do you know?”
Brother Paul considered that, uncertain. He had supposed he was overcoming Temptation-and a formidable Temptation it was!-but could it be that the physical side of Love was the essence of his search? It hardly seemed likely, but he could not be sure. There was a deep affinity between types of love, expressed on the highest plane as religion, and on the lowest as s.e.x. It was often said that ”G.o.d is Love.” Could he achieve one form without the other?
He remembered the sour comments of the Hierophant. What was the nature of his belief? That the expression of physical love was inherently evil? The Hierophant's views had resembled a parody of- ”The Hierophant!” Brother Paul exclaimed, wheeling on Therion. ”You!”
”So you caught on,” Therion said smugly.
”You purposely distorted the religious att.i.tude of-”
”Distorted? I would not say so,” Therion said. ”I had a role to play, so I played it with complete candor. I gave the essence instead of mere casuistry.
Modern religion hates s.e.x and pleasure and tries to suppress them, because a man with a stiff c.o.c.k will not seek a priest. The ancient religions were much more savvy; they knew that the alternate facet of divine love is physical love. It is a completely natural and necessary function.”
”But not outside of marriage,” Brother Paul said, shaken by the way he had been guided even before he had chosen the guide.
”Why not? What is marriage but a ceremony of society, establis.h.i.+ng the proprietary rights of a particular male over a particular female? Does G.o.d care about the conventions of human culture? Who governs here, anyway-G.o.d or man?”
”Surely G.o.d does!” Brother Paul said.
”Then why didn't G.o.d make man impotent prior to the nuptial ceremony, or responsive only to some other key stimulus, like smell? Animals have no such trouble.”
”Man is not precisely an animal!” Brother Paul retorted. ”Man has a conscience.
He controls his urges.”
”The tail wags the dog, then. Man controls the natural urges G.o.d gave him, instead of allowing their expression in the way G.o.d intended.”
”No! Man's conscience stems from G.o.d!”
”And G.o.d is created in the image of man.” Telling thrust! Of course, man was in the image of G.o.d, but if he argued that case, Therion would simply point out that G.o.d was therefore a s.e.xual creature, and unmarried. Now Brother Paul was uncertain where the sacrament of marriage fitted into this scheme, for it was true that animals did not marry. Animals were completely natural, yet innocent.
Still, he had to believe that one of the things that distinguished man from animal was his morality, his higher consciousness. ”I do not choose to argue with you about marriage,” Brother Paul said, ”or to abuse this young woman. I only wish to ascertain the reality behind the image.”
”Still, you suffer precession,” Therion said sadly. ”You insist on carrying into this framework the private standards dictated by your Earthly existence, refusing to admit that they may be no longer applicable. You think you can penetrate the mora.s.s by plowing straight ahead. When will you realize that you cannot win unless you play the game by its rules? You have sampled only three cups.”