Part 38 (1/2)
XXIX
”Veronica, she has gone away for good--gone away to France. All I could do--Now I am alone here, with n.o.body.”
”But, Teresa, I don't understand. What are you speaking about?”
Evelyn told her of Sister Miry John's departure. ”You cared for her a great deal, one could see that.”
”Well, she was the one whom I have seen most of since I have been here... except you, Veronica.” A look appeared in the girl's face which suggested, very vaguely, of course, but still suggested, that Veronica was jealous of the nun who had gone. Evelyn looked into the girl's face, trying to read the dream in it, until she forgot Veronica, and remembered the nun who had gone; and when she awoke from her dream she saw Veronica still standing before her with a half-cleaned candlestick in her hand.
”She seemed so determined, and all I could say only made her more so; yet I told her I was very fond of her... and she always seemed to like me. Why should she be so determined?”
”I should have thought you would have guessed, Teresa.”
Evelyn begged Veronica to explain, but the girl hesitated, looking at her curiously all the time saying at last:
”It seems to me there can be only one reason for her leaving, and that was because she believed you to be her counterpart.”
”Her counterpart--what's that?”
”Have you been so long in the convent without knowing what a counterpart is, Teresa? The convent is full of counterparts. Did you never see one in the garden, in a shady corner? You spent many hours in the garden. I am surprised. Are you telling the truth, Sister?”
Evelyn opened her eyes.
”Telling the truth! But do they come in the summer-time in the garden, while the sun is out?”
”Yes, they do; and very often they come to one in the evening... but more often at night.”
Evelyn stood looking into Veronica's face without speaking, and at that moment the bell rang.
”We have only just got time,” Veronica said, ”to get into chapel.”
”What can she mean? Counterparts visiting the nuns in the twilight...
at night! Who are these counterparts?” Evelyn asked herself. ”The idle fancies of young girls, of course.” But she was curious to hear what these were, and on the first favourable opportunity she introduced the subject, saying:
”What did you mean, Veronica, when you said that it was strange I had been in the convent so long without finding my counterpart?”
”I didn't say that, Teresa. I said without a counterpart finding you out, or that is what I meant to say. It is the counterpart which seeks us, not we the counterpart. It would be wrong for us to seek one. You know what I said about your singing, how it disturbed me and prevented me from praying? Well, sometimes a memory of your singing precedes the arrival of my counterpart.”
”But did you not say that Sister Mary John was my counterpart?”
Veronica answered that Sister Mary John may have thought so.
”But she is a choir sister.” And to this Veronica did not know what answer to make. The silence was not broken for a long while, each continuing her work, wondering when the other would speak. ”Have all the nuns counterparts?”
”I don't know anything about the choir sisters, but Rufina and Jerome have. Cecilia is too stupid, and no counterpart ever seems to come to her. Sister Angela has the most beautiful counterpart in the world, except mine!” And the girl's eyes lit up.
Evelyn was on the point of asking her to describe her visitor, but, fearing to be indiscreet, she asked Veronica to tell her who were the counterparts, and whence they came. Veronica could tell her nothing, and, untroubled by theory or scruple, she seemed to drift away-- perhaps into the arms of her spiritual lover. On rousing her from her dream Evelyn learnt that Sister Angela, who was fond of reading the Bible, had discovered many texts anent counter-partial love. Which these could be Evelyn wondered, and Veronica quoted the words of the Creed, ”Christ descended into h.e.l.l.”
”But the counterpart doesn't emanate out of h.e.l.l?”