v1c8 (1/2)

Translated by Lei

Proofread by Masadeer

How to Live in an Unfamiliar Place

“Ughh…”

‘Where am I…’

I heard my groaning as my consciousness flickered back, piece by piece.

‘Is this heaven or h.e.l.l? Ahhh, I don’t wanna open my eyes.’

Judging from all of my past actions, it was 0.1% more likely that this was h.e.l.l than heaven, so I didn’t want to check. The only filial piety I had practiced since being born was sending my parents on the ten thousand dollar cruise vacation. Besides that, there was that time when I ran away from kindergarten, the fight in elementary school, the p.o.r.n incident in middle school, and in high school, the time I went and disappeared during the school field trip and became a missing person. There was really nothing I could say.

And that wasn’t all, either. With the wicked thoughts I’d had towards countless women, and the “eat f.u.c.k” I’d shouted at my master in the very last moment, I would need 100 floggings and an endless 365 day course in h.e.l.l.

‘Why’s this so soft? And the fragrant smell of gra.s.s is—?’

While I was sighing disconsolately because it seemed that female demons would rush at me when I opened my eyes, various feelings from my senses swarmed in my head. It was a bit difficult to think that this was h.e.l.l, where sulfurous flame burned all year long and dashed away any worry of getting cold.

‘Maybe it’s heaven?’

Even now, I could feel the hot knife on the skin of my stomach. I suddenly thought that this might not be h.e.l.l, but heaven.

“He’s still not awake, huh?”

“Shh, he’s an injured person.”

“As if! Hmph! He even drank a potion, the lifeblood of the villagers!”

“Deron, stop that. Dad told us, remember? That we have to be sympathetic to people more pitiful than us, in order to be embraced by the Neran, the G.o.ddess of Mercy, when we die.”

“Don’t wanna! Rather than being happy after death, Deron wants to eat and play right now!”

‘Wh-what is this sound?’

While my senses were coming back to me, I clearly heard words from an unfamiliar language. They were words I’d never heard before on the Earth, but as if I had an automatic translator in my head, it was interpreted perfectly.

“Deron, did Dad and I teach you to be like that? It’s not just you, everyone is suffering! But how can… you…”

A girl with a clear and pure voice couldn’t bear to continue and fell silent.

“B-big sis Cecile, I’m sorry. I just… wahh.”

When the girl named Cecile fell silent, the boy that had seemed bad mannered cried as he apologized.

‘The rascal, he’s a bit rude but looks like he was educated well. Eh, wait. Were they talking about me, just now?’

I had been listening in confusion, but someone who had consumed something the villagers treasured, a potion, was being called more pitiful than themselves.

My eyes flashed open.

“GAH!”

And then I screamed.

“Ack!”

“Uwaaah!”

I wasn’t the only one who screamed. The cries of the two people who were surprised by my shout rang out in an unfamiliar hut.

‘Where the h.e.l.l is this! Uwaaaah! Why am I lying in a place like this!’

It was neatly organized, but just one glance told me I was inside a house that reeked of poverty. I could see the entirety of a bare, wooden hut that wasn’t even 350 sq. feet. There was a kitchen, if it could be called that, with a stove, a few big cauldrons, and a wooden table, and all kinds of animal leather hung on every wall.

On top of that, there was a girl who looked to be my age, and kid about ten years old. Looking at each other as we cried out, our eyes were wide with shock.

“Uwaaah! He, he woke up! The pervert panties bro woke up!”

Ker-chunk! Without giving me a chance to say anything, the kid slammed open the door and left, screaming about ‘pervert panties.’

“H-hi…”

Even during that, I collected my wits and waved my hand towards the blonde girl, who happened to be quite cute.

“…”

But what I got in response was an expression of horror, as if she’d seen a ghost or something. Ker-chunk! While she was open-mouthed in shock, the wooden door banged open.

“Aaghh!”

“M-my goodness, he really did wake up.”

“Looks like the potion was indeed effective.”

Several western women and men suddenly swarmed into the small room. Wearing rough clothes like I might’ve seen in a medieval ages movie, they looked and me and whispered amongst themselves.

“H-h.e.l.lo there?”

I didn’t exactly know what was going on, but my life was definitely connected to this situation. I stood up and greeted them.

The blanket slipped down.

“AHH!”

“AH, OMO! OMO!”

‘Agh!’

But amidst the screams of the women, I sank back down. Surprisingly enough, under the blanket, the only thing covering me was a single pair of underwear I’d never seen before, made out of a strange fabric.

‘Where the h.e.l.l am I?! Mother! Father!!!!’

I drew the blanket to my chin and earnestly called my parents.

Like that saying that you could only be a faithful son if you did your military duty, I had somehow become a faithful son in this unfamiliar place.

[T/N: Korean men are required to serve in the military for two years. ]

* * *

“So you’re saying… this is Luna Village, a town in the territory of Viscount Fiore of Dapis Kingdom…?” I asked once again with a voice that I didn’t realize was trembling.

“Hmm, looks like the severe injury scattered your wits, young lad. I’ll say it once more. I don’t know where you’re from, but Hans here found you collapsed on the beach and brought you here. This is Luna Village, in the viscounty of Fiore, of the Kingdom of Dapis, in the South of the continent. And I’m the village chief, Aves. Sigh!”

“…”

As if teaching a newly admitted elementary school student, Village Chief Aves slowly explained, word by word. The village chief who’d lost his front teeth took a deep breath, as if tired from explaining several times.

‘O-oh my G.o.d! Why am I here! Uwaaah!’ I held back from screaming, but I couldn’t collect my wits in this absurd situation.

‘WHY, WHAT, WHERE…’

Countless questions raged in my heart. I could remember everything up to getting stabbed by the Triad gangster, who claimed to have been Master’s disciple. But I couldn’t remember anything after that, and the words I was told, kingdom or viscounty or whatnot, were unfamiliar terms to me.

‘M-master, you—!! ARGHH!!”

There was only one person who could be the recipient of my countless questions. The culprit responsible for making me an Alice of a strange country… could only be Aidal, a two hundred year old Mage.

‘f.u.c.k, then does that mean this bracelet was the key for dimensional travel?’

In this cold reality, once grains of rice were cooked into food, no amount of begging would return the food into grains of rice again. I could surmise that the silver bracelet on my left arm, which had followed me even into this puzzling situation, was an agent of Master’s designs.

I finally figured out what ‘a link that connects time to time and s.p.a.ce to s.p.a.ce’ meant.

“Hans.”

“Yes, Chief.”

“Since it seems this lad hasn’t yet recovered his wits, please take good care of him. It’s already crazy because of the taxes, but… sigh!”

“I, I apologize, Chief. Because of me…”

The one called Hans was a hairy, robust man in his late forties. He scratched his head as he bowed deeply to the chief.

“No, no. Since when has our Luna Village become so cold-hearted and ungenerous… It’s a shame that a potion was used up, but… it can’t be helped. This is all within G.o.d’s plan.”

Talking about G.o.d’s plan as if he were a saint, Village Chief Aves nodded.

“Let’s go then.”

“Huh?”

Saying that, Hans grabbed my shoulders and set me upright. According to the chief’s words, this late-forties mister named Hans was the savior of my life.

“It’s time for dinner, so we’ve gotta go eat food.”

“F-food…”

Groowwl. With the mention of food, my stomach growled loudly as it informed me that it was alive.

‘If you were going to send me, then you should have sent me well! Why the seash.o.r.e! And I could have drowned! Arghhhh!’

I knew that Master was a person who always lived without restraint, but I really hadn’t known that he was such an irresponsible person.

‘I’ll definitely return! My paradise! My homeland, South Korea! Gaaah!’

The cries I couldn’t shout aloud!

Dragged along by Hans’ thick arm, I was towed out of the village chief’s house. And then, I clenched my teeth and made a vow.

I would definitely leave this ridiculous world and return to the Earth!

And I would definitely repay him for this day.

* * *

‘T-this is food?’

The coa.r.s.e wooden bowl that was put in front of me held a few potatoes floating around in a clear soup. And a single piece of black bread that smelled like barley landed on the table with a heavy thump. I couldn’t tell whether it was bread or a lump of rock.

“Wow! Why’re there so many potatoes today?”

‘W-what’s with this ridiculous, wretched smell of poverty?’

Once I realized that the cheer bursting out of the kid named Deron’s lips wasn’t a lie, I was dazedly submerged in shock. Just before I’d woken up, I had been eating luxury seafood dishes and a feast made by first-cla.s.s chefs, but what suddenly appeared before me now was the smell of dest.i.tution.

“Eat up. Though it’s not much…”

With a face so hairy it could put a bandit to shame, Hans made an apologetic expression.

“N-no, that’s not true. Haha! These potatoes look st.u.r.dier than the ones I’ve always eaten at home, they’re quite appetizing.”

They were the saviors I was grateful towards for saving my life, the life that had been endangered by Master’s irresponsibility. If I were to complain about the food, that would make me more dog than human.

‘Let’s give it a try.’

Because my stomach was clamoring, I pretended to be crazy and put a big spoonful of potato into my mouth.

“Ohh! It’s good!”

‘How can it taste like this!’

It only looked like a clear soup with a few potatoes floating around in it. But surprisingly, a peculiarly good taste filled my mouth.

“I-it’s good?”

The blonde girl named Cecile asked me if it was good with expectant eyes.

“Haha, it’s tastes just like the food my mother makes. It’s truly tasty!”

‘It’s likely she’s got the potential to become a first-cla.s.s chef.’

I checked the inside of the bowl again, but truly, all I could see in the soup were the potatoes and a few slivers of vegetable.

“Hehe, so even the pervert bro has fallen in love with my big sis’ cooking? Big sis Cecile is a chef acknowledged by everyone here in Luna Village.”

The kiddo was eager to spout praises about his big sis.

‘But why does he keep saying pervert, pervert?’

“Hans, why does Deron keep calling me a pervert? Did I make some kind of mistake before I woke up or something?”

“Ah, that… that’s… well.” Hans stammered rather than answering my question straight out.

‘Why did Cecile’s face get so red?’

With Hans unable to answer, I looked towards Cecile in order to ask her and saw her flus.h.i.+ng bright red while looking straight down.

“Woow! You’re really shameless, bro! How can you ask so straightforwardly?”

‘What?’

Now, the only person who would answer me honestly was Deron.

“You don’t remember? Those panties you were wearing?”

“P-panties?”

He was talking about underwear, but the translator operating in my head interpreted that as panties.

‘The clothes I was wearing… geh! Surely not the flower print shorts?’

“Heh! How could a man wear such vulgar flower print panties even though he’s not a girl? When Daddy carried you in, you almost weren’t able to enter the village because of those bloodsoaked flower print panties! We were sure a perverted pirate was s.h.i.+pwrecked and got carried onto sh.o.r.e here!”

‘Bl-bloodsoaked flower print panties…’

My head rang dizzily. The short pants that were called shorts by everyone in the 21st century were mistakened as panties here. Actually, Cecile was wearing a long skirt even though the weather was quite hot.

‘I’m really… a pervert. Sigh!’

A kid’s eyes were accurate. If Deron had judged me as a pervert, then the villagers might have mistaken me for a pervert, too.

‘But does that mean Cecile saw everything?’