Part 21 (2/2)
”Don't worry, we have already told them,” her mother said.
Two days later, the engagement ceremony took place at the house. All the furniture was moved out of the living room and bedsheets were spread over the floor for people to sit on.
Again, her aunt dressed Rasika and applied too much makeup. It seemed to Rasika that she was a doll they were playing with in their game of ”the perfect wedding.” Although it was supposed to be a small gathering, all sorts of relatives crowded into the house to observe the ceremony: Appa's siblings and their families, Amma's distant cousins. Subhash and his family were there, too.
Rasika tried not to look at Yuvan's father. She knew, intellectually, that he was not really Kanchan, but whenever she saw his face, her mind flashed to that evening in the hotel, and she felt panic and the urge to run away. During the ceremony, as she sat on the wooden platform at one end of the room, she kept her eyes down, as a modest bride should.
After the engagement ceremony, as Yuvan and Rasika stood at one end of the room accepting blessings and greetings, the crowd parted. Appa's mother was being led toward them. Thin and bent, gripping a walker in her clawlike hands, she thumped slowly toward them, with Balu Uncle pressing the crowd back from her. When she stood in front of Rasika, Amma said, ”Do namaskar to Ammachi,” and Rasika and Yuvan both obediently kneeled in front of the old woman and touched their foreheads to the floor. Ammachi blessed them by sprinkling raw turmeric-colored rice over them. When Rasika rose from the floor, her grandmother gripped Rasika's hand in her claw, and stood there for several seconds, her hand shaking, her lips working. Finally she said, ”You have come home to marry. Now I can die in peace.”
As the old woman hauled herself away, Amma whispered, ”She always says things like that. Don't worry.”
That evening, Rasika stayed at home with a headache. Everyone else in the house went out to the ISKCON temple, which, her uncle informed them, was the largest Hare Krishna temple in the world. She didn't want to endure a long car ride and then jostle among thousands of other tourists.
In the room she was sharing with Mayuri, she swallowed a couple of painkillers and then sat up in bed, sipping water from a steel cup. The window was open, and a soft evening breeze wafted into the room, bringing with it sounds of street vendors calling out their wares, the grinding of traffic, and whiffs of smell: the acrid scent of burning trash, and the oniony smell of fried food. As the headache faded, she was surprised to discover that tears were running down her face.
”What is it?” Pati had appeared at the side of her bed. ”Why are you crying, raja?” Pati sat down next to her, put her strong fingers against Rasika's temples, and ma.s.saged firmly.
”I thought you went with them.” Rasika took another sip of water.
”I have already seen that temple. Lie down. You are exhausted.” Pati took the cup away from Rasika and patted Rasika's shoulder. ”Go to sleep now.”
Rasika obediently lay down. ”Pati, stay with me.” She rolled onto her side and grasped her grandmother's hand. ”I feel so sad.”
”Sometimes it happens like that after a lot of excitement. You will feel better in the morning.”
”I don't know if I made the right decision, Pati.”
Pati began ma.s.saging Rasika's head with her free hand. ”We pray to G.o.d, and make the best decisions we can.”
”What if-what if I'm marrying the wrong boy?” Rasika said this almost to herself.
”What other boy is there? Hm?” Pati's fingers worked on the nape of Rasika's neck. ”Don't worry. One boy is just as good as another. Tomorrow you will feel better.”
Rasika closed her eyes and tried to relax, but her mind kept racing. She felt as if all the guests at the ceremony were swarming toward her, led by her crippled grandmother. ”What if there is another boy?” she asked softly.
Pati's fingers stopped. ”What are you saying?” she asked gently. ”Is there someone else you want to marry?”
Rasika put both hands up to cover her face. ”I don't know.”
Pati grasped Rasika's wrists and pulled the hands away from her face. Her sharp eyes penetrated into Rasika's eyes. ”If there is someone else, you must speak up now.”
”But they won't approve.” Rasika closed her eyes. She couldn't look at Pati.
Pati let go of Rasika's wrists. ”Listen to me. Sit up, open your eyes, and listen to me.”
Rasika sat up. She opened her eyes but kept them focused down on her hands in her lap. For the engagement ceremony, Mayuri had decorated Rasika's palms with intricate henna designs. She concentrated on following the spirals and flowers Mayuri had drawn.
Pati put both hands on either side of Rasika's head and turned the head so Rasika had to look at Pati. ”Now is the time to speak. If you don't speak, you must not speak after marriage.”
Rasika nodded.
”Is there someone else?” Pati demanded softly.
Rasika looked into Pati's eyes. What would Pati say if she knew about Rasika's life? She would be shocked. Rasika couldn't let everyone down now, after she had come so far. ”No,” she whispered. She shook her head, with Pati's hands still on either side of her face. ”No.”
During the engagement ceremony, Yuvan's parents had given Rasika thousands of rupees as a gift. ”We wanted to give you something, but we want you to select your own gifts, so you will use them,” Yuvan's mother said, and everyone agreed this was very sensible.
The next day, Rasika was sent shopping with Mayuri, who would help Rasika select only the most fas.h.i.+onable outfits. They attempted to walk along the narrow sidewalk on Commercial Street, which most of the time was blocked by merchandise displayed outside of shops, or by A-frame sidewalk signs advertising the wares of a shop. She and Mayuri jostled among all the other shoppers and tried to stay out of the way of the cars and motor scooters that attempted to squeeze their way down the narrow street.
”You're so lucky, Rasika.” They carefully stepped past a shop bursting with frilly little girls' dresses. ”You've fallen in love with a man who is acceptable to your parents.”
”I haven't really fallen in love with him,” Rasika said. ”I'm not even sure he likes me.”
”He has agreed to marry you! Of course he likes you. He is not a very emotional person, but I don't think he would agree to marry someone he didn't like. Everyone is talking about what a great match it is. You're very lucky.”
Rasika and Mayuri were accosted by a young man holding a wooden snake in his hand. ”Snake, madam?” he asked politely. On Commercial Street, even the pavement peddlers spoke in English.
”Go away,” Mayuri said.
Undaunted, the peddler walked along with them, holding the snake by the tail and demonstrating how it could sway in the air because of its jointed construction. ”Three hundred rupees,” he said. He was dressed in a nice plaid woven s.h.i.+rt and long pants, with sandals on his feet.
”Go,” Mayuri commanded.
”Chess set?” The young man produced a travel-size wooden chess set. He opened its tiny drawers to reveal the minute chess pieces.
Rasika couldn't help laughing. He looked like he was about sixteen years old, with a hint of a mustache on his upper lip. They escaped him only by entering a random store, where they pretended to look at shelves of men's polo s.h.i.+rts.
”Rasika, I must tell you something.” Mayuri unfolded a s.h.i.+rt, held it up in front of her face, and said softly, from behind the s.h.i.+rt, ”My misfortune is that I have fallen in love with the wrong man. He is the most honest, caring person I have ever met. And he is extremely smart. He didn't do well in school because he is not good at memorizing. He is more of a big-picture person. He has a great business sense. He will be very wealthy someday. But I will never be allowed to marry him, only because he is a Muslim.” Mayuri said all this in a rush, although her voice continued to be quiet.
Rasika was surprised Mayuri would talk about her personal life in public like this. There were no other customers in the small, air-conditioned shop, and the four or five employees were standing around, looking attentive. Unlike stores in the United States, where it was often difficult to find anyone to help you, in India the salesclerks were everywhere. This shop even had someone just to open the door for customers.
”How did you meet him?” Rasika asked softly.
”He works with me.” Mayuri lowered the s.h.i.+rt and stepped closer to Rasika. ”He was my trainer. He was so gentle and patient, Rasika. I started to love him from the first day of training.”
”Will you marry him anyway?” Rasika asked. She wondered how Mridula Auntie would react to her oldest daughter marrying not just out of their caste, but out of their religion altogether.
”I don't know what to do. His family will also disapprove. He is afraid to ask their permission.”
Rasika looked out the gla.s.s doors of the shop. The young peddler was nowhere in sight. ”Shall we go?”
Mayuri clutched a s.h.i.+rt to her chest. ”I want you to meet him. I want someone in my family to understand. He is so beautiful, I cannot live without him.”
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