Part 10 (1/2)
”I try so hard not to be afraid of men, for I know they are necessary to eugenics.”
”Yes,” I said dryly, ”I suppose they are, though I think I would prefer to put it that the love of man and woman is necessary to parenthood.”
”Oh, no,” she said in a frightened voice, ”not that, that is very wicked.”
”So you were taught that you should not love men? No wonder you are afraid of them.”
”I was taught to respect men for they are the fathers of children,” she replied.
”Then,” I asked, deciding to probe the philosophy of the education for maternity, ”why are not the fathers permitted to enjoy their fatherhood and live with the mother and the children?”
Frau Matilda now gazed at me with open-mouthed astonishment. ”What a beautiful idea!” she exclaimed with rapture.
”Yes, I rather like it myself--the family--”
”The family!” cried the girl in horror.
”That is what we were talking about.”
”But the family is forbidden. It is very wrong, very uneugenic. You must be a wicked man to speak to me of that.”
”You have been taught some very foolish ideas,” I replied.
”How dare you!” she cried, in alarm. ”I have been taught what is right, and I want to do what is right and loyal. I pa.s.sed all my examinations.
I am a good mother-elect, and you say these forbidden things to me. You talk of love and families. You insult me. And if you select me, I shall--I shall claim exemption,--” and with that she rose and darted through the inner door.
I waited for a time and then gently approached the door, which I saw had swung to with springs and had neither latch nor lock. My gentle rap upon the hollow panel was answered by a m.u.f.fled sob. I realized the hopelessness of further words and silently turned from the door and left the apartment.
The streets of the level were almost deserted for the curfew had rung and the lights glowed dim as in a hospital ward at night. I hurried silently along, shut in by enclosing walls and the lowering ceiling of the street. From everywhere I seemed to feel upon me the beseeching, haunting grey eyes of Frau Matilda. My soul was troubled, for it seemed to stagger beneath the burden of its realization of a lost humanity. And with me walked grey shadows of other men, felt-footed through the gloom, and they walked hurriedly as men fleeing from a house of death.
~6~
My next duty as a German father-elect was to report to the Eugenic Office. There at least I could deal with men; and there I went, nursing rebellion yet trying my utmost to appear outwardly calm.
To the clerk I offered my three signed cards by way of introduction.
”And which do you select?” asked the oldish man over his rimless gla.s.ses.
”None.”
”Ah, but you must.”
”But what if I refuse to do so?”
”That is most unusual.”
”But does it ever happen?”
”Well, yes,” admitted the clerk, ”but only by Pet.i.tion Extraordinary to the Chief of the Staff. But it is most unusual, and if he refuses to grant it you may be dishonoured even to the extent of having your election to paternity suspended, may be even permanently cancelled.”