Part 16 (1/2)
”I hardly know her yet ... but she's lovely!”
”Go on ... go on!”
”I took her to the theatre with me to see _Julius Caesar_ and then I left her home. She lives up near the Lagan ... out Stranmillis way!...”
”I know it well,” said Uncle Matthew. ”Is she a fair girl or a dark girl?”
”She has the loveliest golden hair you ever clapped your eyes on. It was that made me fall in love with her!...”
”You're in love with her then! You're not just going with her?”
”Of course I'm in love with her. I never was in the habit of just going with girls. That's all right, mebbe, for Willie Logan, but I'm not fond of it,” said John indignantly.
”You fell in love with her in a terrible great hurry,” Uncle Matthew exclaimed.
”Aye,” said John laughing. ”It was queer and comic the way I fell in love with her, for I had no notion of such a thing when I went in the shop to have my tea. She's in a restaurant off High Street. I'd been to the Royal to see _Romeo and Juliet_, and I was full of the play and just wandering about, not thinking of what I was doing, when all of a sudden I saw this place fornent my eyes, and I just went in, and she was there by her lone. The woman that keeps the place had gone home with a sore head, and left her to look after it!”
”What's her name?”
”Maggie Carmichael. It's a nice name. They don't do much trade on a Sat.u.r.day, and her and me were alone in the shop by ourselves so I asked her to have tea with me, and then I asked her to go to the Royal, and she agreed after a while, and when it was over, I took her home, and that's why I missed the train and had to tramp it the whole way home.
She's older nor I am. She says she's twenty-two. She was codding me for never having kissed any other girl but her!...”
”You got that length, did you?”
”Aye,” said John in confusion.
”You're like your da. Take what you want, the minute you want it.
She'll think you're in earnest, John!”
”I am in earnest. I couldn't be any other way. How could a man feel about a woman, the way I feel about her, and not be in earnest?”
”As easy as winking,” said Uncle Matthew. ”You'll mebbe be in love a hundred times before you marry, and every time you'll think it's the right one at last. There's no law in love, John. You can't say about it, that you've got to know a woman well before you're safe in marrying her, nor you can't just shut your eyes and grab hold of the first one that comes to your hand. There's no law, John ... none at all. It's an adventure, love. That's what it is. You don't know what lies at the end of your journey ... and you can't know ... and mebbe when you reach the end, you don't know. You just have to take your chance, and trust to G.o.d it'll be all right! Is she in love with you?”
”I don't know. I don't suppose so. She made fun of me, so I suppose she can't be. But she said she liked me.”
”Making fun of you is nothing to go by. Some women would make fun of G.o.d Almighty, and think no harm of it. You'll soon know whether she's in love with you or not, my son!”
”How will I, Uncle Matthew?”
”When she begins to treat you as if you were her property. That's a sure and certain sign. The minute a woman looks at a man as much as to say, 'That fellow belongs to me,' she's in love with him, as sure as death. Anyway, she's going to marry him! Boys-a-boys, John, but you're the lucky lad with all your youth and health in front of you, and you setting out in the world. Many's the time I've longed at nights to be lying snug and comfortable and quiet in a woman's arms, but I never had that pleasure. Whatever you do, John, don't die an unmarried man like your Uncle William and me. It's better to live with a cross sour-natured woman nor it is to live with no woman at all; for even the worst woman in the world has given a wee while of happiness to her man, and he always has that in his mind to comfort him however bad she turns out after. And if she is bad, sure you can run away from her!”
”Run away from her! You'd never advocate the like of that, Uncle Matthew?”
”I would. I'm a dying man, John, and mebbe I'll be dead by the morrow's morn, so you may be sure I'm saying things now that I mean with all my heart, for no man wants to go before his G.o.d with lies on his lips. And I tell you now, boy, that if a man and woman are not happy together, they ought to separate and go away from each other as far as they can get, no matter what the cost is. Them's my solemn words, John. I'd like well to see this girl you're after, but I'll mebbe not be able. No matter for that. Pay heed to me now, for fear I don't get the opportunity to say it to you again. Whatever adventures you set out on, never forget they're only adventures, and if one turns out to be bad, another'll mebbe turn out to be good. Don't be like me, don't let one thing affect your life for ever!...” He lay back on his pillow for a few moments and did not speak. John waited a little while, and then he leant forward. ”Will I fetch my ma?” he asked.
Uncle Matthew shook his head and waved feebly with his hand, and John sat back again in his chair.
”Life's just balancing one adventure against another,” Uncle Matthew said at last, without raising his head from the pillow. ”The good against the bad. And the happy man is him that can set off a lot of good adventures against bad ones, and have a balance of good ones in his favour. But it takes courage to have a lot, John. The Jenny-joes of the world never try again after the first bad one. I ... I was staggered that time ... I ... I never got my foothold again. The balance is against me, John!...”