Part 38 (1/2)

”They say that, even though I don't look exactly like her, I remind them of your mom.” The actress's eyes were s.h.i.+ning-not so much with a color, but with a feeling.

An invitation to compare her to Eva Claremont, to think she had the same qualities that defined Dawn's mother.

Mother.

With the crash of a wall falling into a ruin of dust and vulnerability, images rushed back-images Dawn had stored and shoved into the furnace of her anguish, hoping they'd be destroyed. But now they were resurrected, called up by Jacqueline's face.

Thepicture. The crime-scene photo of Eva from her dad's hidden bootbox.

A woman's pale body laid against white satin sheets, her wrists tied to the bedposts, the belled sleeves of her nightgown spread like crimson wings as blood flowed down her arms from the ragged slits decorating her skin. Blond hair sunning over a pillow.

Brown eyes staring at the ceiling. A peaceful smile on her lips. Someone's fantasy angel-sweet, sacrificed, and murdered on a bed of red-soaked purity.Eva's corpse-the catalyst of a legend born one dark night in Hollywood.

Nausea banged a furious rhythm in Dawn's temples. Blindly, she sought the wall, groping for her chair.

But Jacqueline was at her side, frantically helping her into it. ”I knew this would happen. I'm so sorry, Dawn. I'm really so sorry.”

”I'm okay.” G.o.dd.a.m.nit, she had to be.

But when she tried to stand back up, her body wouldn't allow it. She slumped down to the seat, unable to function.

Red on white. Blood. So much blood.

Mom.

”Here.” Jacqueline dragged a chair over, then helped Dawn to relax, laying down her head on her lap, her voice soothing.

A blanket on a stormy night, Dawn thought, clinging to the fragmented hope of it, pus.h.i.+ng it away at the same time.

”It's a shock, I know.” Jacqueline stroked Dawn's hair. ”Such a shock. But you know what used to make me feel better? My mom's favorite bedtime song....”

And when the first tear ripped out of Dawn, Jacqueline held her even tighter, shus.h.i.+ng her, calming her; but it didn't stop the bafflement, the anger, the bottomless questions.

Then she started to sing in a sweet voice, her hand resting on Dawn's back. On Frank's s.h.i.+rt.

”Hush, little baby, don't say a word...”

Turning her face upward, Dawn didn't even have the strength for any kind of defense. No, all she wanted to do was look into the compelling, beautiful eyes gazing down at her, the light of affection making them clearer than anything she had ever seen in her life.

”Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird...”

Under the soft lyrics, Dawn's eyelids grew heavy, the slow melt of surrender. Her breathing evened out, and another tear followed the first, then another.

Blood on white sheets...Eva's empty eyes staring into nothing...

Cringing with a screaming sob that had been building for years, she held on to this woman while, at the same time, wanting to push her away in denial and rage.

b.i.t.c.h, mother...what was she?

And why'd she come back?

Helpless in her fury and need, she buried her face against Jacqueline's...her mom's arm. But it didn't carry the scent of Dawn's memories; the flesh was scented with something Dawn couldn't place, slightly cold.

Abandoned,Dawn thought, mind spinning.She left me, and now she wants to come back?

Dawn fought the sobs, dug her nails into the woman's skin.

”Dawn!”

The cry was stamped with utter shock, punching its way through her head, pulling her out of her sorrow and into a clearer reality. I don't want you back...Ican'twant you back....

On a wave of anger, she pushed away from the woman, lifting a stiff arm to make sure the blonde didn't approach her again. For a baffling moment, Dawn locked eyes with her, lost in the depth of the other woman's gaze.

Mom...?

A loud sound blared from the TV, making Dawn jump.

It was as if something had clicked into place, waking her up. The newscast filtered into her perception, and her vision seemed to realign, showing her the brown of the other woman's eyes, the startled confusion of a friend named Jacqueline Ashley who'd merely dyed her hair blond this morning.

Dawn's breathing evened out as she talked herself into sanity. My G.o.d, Jacqueline did look a lot like Eva, but...

She laughed, almost a little crazily. Dreaming. She was so tired and emotionally messed up that her brain obviously wasn't working right.