Part 18 (1/2)
Okay, so I was fairly confident I was on the right track. Or...at least pretty sure.
All right, so it was a shot in the dark. Crime solving was not my chosen career path.
”Ignore all the sourp.u.s.s.es,” Margi told me. ”We have a few people in the group who are a little cranky because they don't like their Halloween costumes, and they're taking it out on those of us who had the foresight to rent early.” She smirked at Bernice and Lucille, who turned in unison to smirk back. ”Go ahead, Emily,” she encouraged. ”Tell us what you've got.”
”Okay, I'll explain a little about the person in each photo, then I'll pa.s.s the print around the room so you can get a closer look. When I'm done, I'll a.s.sign a photo to each of you, and that's the person you'll be responsible for following until we reach Maui.”
Helen Teig raised her hand. ”You want us to spy on people for the next three hours? But that'll interfere with dinner. When are we supposed to eat?”
Imminent starvation was apparently a huge fear for women weighing two thousand pounds and over. ”There's only one show in town tonight: a huge Halloween buffet in the main dining room, starting at seven. All you can eat, open seating. I a.s.sume our suspects will have to eat, so do your best to keep an eye on them while you're making your way through the buffet line. If you're clever, you might even be able to wrangle a seat at the same table with them.”
”How are we gonna recognize 'em if they're wearin' masks?” Nana asked.
”I've written names and cabin numbers on the back of their photos. Once you're in costume, casually stake out their rooms to check out what they're wearing, then don't let them out of your sight.”
”What are we supposed to be looking for?” d.i.c.k Teig piped up. ”You think someone's gonna be dumb enough to be carrying that box around with them?”
”I don't know,” I admitted. ”But if any of them do anything to give themselves away, we need to be there to catch them. Okay, suspect number one.” I held up the first photo. ”Jennifer French. Some of you might remember her as the foul-tempered blonde from the Secret Falls. She had a grudge against Professor Smoker and was in a good position to steal the box last night. If she heads for the disembarkation deck when we reach Maui, do whatever you have to do, but don't let her off the s.h.i.+p.”
I handed the photo to Tilly and held up the next one. ”Nils Nilsson. Member of the World Navigators Club, with a criminal history that includes a.s.sault against a university history professor. He apparently isn't fond of anyone who promotes explorers of non-Scandinavian descent. I think this guy could be a very bad dude.”
Helen Teig shot out of her chair and s.n.a.t.c.hed the photo from my hand. ”Say, this is the fella that gave me a whole bag of Skittles clear out of the blue on the first day of the cruise. Why'd he do that? How'd he know I like Skittles? You think he might have been stalking me?” She held the picture up to the light, an appreciative smile teasing her lips. ”He's a big one, isn't he?” A little twinkle lit her eyes. ”You don't need to hand this one around, Emily. I'll take him.”
”Down in front!” Bernice sniped. ”The rest of us can't see!”
”This is Nils's sidekick,” I said, holding up a predinner photo of my next suspect. ”His name is Gjurd. I don't know anything about him other than if he hangs around with Nils, he's probably in cahoots with him. He might be his strong-arm man or something.”
”What about the young fella with the pretty hair?” Margi questioned.
I held my breath for a moment before exhaling. ”Ansgar. Right. Um, Ansgar was involved in that bad mishap on the Secret Falls hiking trail yesterday, and...and I'm afraid he didn't survive his injuries.”
Margi's face turned Clorox white. ”That nice young fella is dead? The one who ate dinner with us? Oh, my goodness. And to think I'd been mustering my courage to ask him a very personal question. In English, of course. I don't speak Norwegian, except for a few cusswords.”
”What were you fis.h.i.+ng for?” crowed Bernice. ”His phone number?”
”The name of his shampoo. You don't get body like that using ordinary over-the-counter hair products.” She sighed dismally before looking up at me. ”Two people dead in four days, Emily? That's not a normal death rate for holiday travel, is it?”
”Four's about normal,” Nana said helpfully. ”That's what we averaged in Italy.”
”I told you that trail needed more signs,” d.i.c.k Teig proclaimed. ”That fella probably got lost on the same trail we did and broke his neck falling down that d.a.m.ned embankment.”
”His neck wasn't the problem,” I hedged. ”It was his skull. Someone apparently altered the shape of it with a lethal blow then made off with all his identification.”
Gasps. Whispers. Tooth sucking.
”So he was murdered,” Tilly declared, her voice vibrating with uncharacteristic anxiety. ”Perhaps by the same person who killed the professor?”
I nodded. ”That's my guess.”
”Which means our miscreant has struck not once, but twice?” She shook her head. ”I don't like those statistics. Go on with your talk, Emily.” She bowed her head in my direction, and whispered behind her hand, ”And you might want to hurry.”
”Basil Broomhead.” I held his photo up like a cue card. ”He may have been the last person to see Professor Smoker alive.” I flashed the next picture. ”Percy Woodruffe-Peac.o.c.k. The flip side of Percy's business card is annotated with two names: Professor Dorian Smoker and Bailey Howard. I think these annotations comprise an actual hit list. Suspect number six: Sh.e.l.ly Valentine.”
The two d.i.c.ks elbowed each other as I displayed a DAY ONE DAY ONE photo of Sh.e.l.ly in her hot pink halter top and cheek-hugging short shorts. ”Sh.e.l.ly may have nothing to do with any of this, but she was sleeping with Professor Smoker, so in my book that earns her billing with everyone else.” photo of Sh.e.l.ly in her hot pink halter top and cheek-hugging short shorts. ”Sh.e.l.ly may have nothing to do with any of this, but she was sleeping with Professor Smoker, so in my book that earns her billing with everyone else.”
d.i.c.k Stolee rocketed his hand into the air, his tongue hanging down to his belt buckle. ”I'll take that one, Emily.”
Grace thwacked him on the arm. ”In your dreams.”
”My last photo is Bailey Howard, and you know what she looks like because you were with her all day yesterday. But I'm adding her to our picture gallery because rumor has it that her academic career could actually be furthered by Professor Smoker's death.”
Margi executed a little finger wave to draw my attention. ”I don't mean to sound dumb, Emily, but how would Bailey have found time to kill Ansgar if she was with us all day yesterday?”
”An excellent question. And the answer is --” I let out a ragged breath. ”I don't have a clue. We have a lot of puzzle pieces that don't fit yet.”
”Bailey knew we found the treasure,” Bernice blurted out. ”I betcha she's the one who stole it.”
”She was seasick along with everyone else last night, so that's a stretch,” I allowed. ”But she might have mentioned it to one of the other suspects. Or better yet” -- I fisted my hands on the table and directed a long, pointed look at Bernice -- ”someone else else in our group might have had loose lips and told a whole in our group might have had loose lips and told a whole slew slew of people.” of people.”
Ten heads snapped around to stare at Bernice, who s.h.i.+fted nervously in her chair before sticking her chin out in self-defense. ”Why are you looking at me? I took your stupid oath of silence! Do I look like the kind of person who'd blow off an oath?”
”We didn't make you swear on a Bible,” Lucille accused. ”Maybe you took advantage of the loophole.”
Osmond jumped to his feet. ”Show of hands. How many think Bernice blabbed?”
Ten hands darted into the air.
”Majority rules. You blabbed.”
”If I blabbed, may G.o.d send the upper deck cras.h.i.+ng down onto my head this very second!”
Screams. Shouts. Everyone doubled over, flinging their arms over their heads to protect against concussion, cranial trauma, and all other forms of divine retribution.
I ducked down and cringed at the ceiling, relieved when the overhead panels didn't rain down on the baby grand. Five seconds pa.s.sed. Ten.
Osmond poked his head out from beneath his arms to give the ceiling a distrustful look. ”d.a.m.n. She might be telling the truth.”
I marked the hour on my watch. ”Come on, you guys. We don't have much time left. Let's go over this again so I know we're on the same page. When I cut you loose, what are you going to do?”
”Get into our costumes,” said Alice.
”Loiter casually in the corridors so's we know what our suspects are wearin' to the Halloween bash,” added Nana.
”Eat,” bellowed Helen.
I nodded approval. ”And what's the most important thing you're going to do tonight?”
”Eat,” repeated Helen.
I gave her a withering look.