Part 19 (1/2)

”I THOUGHT WE DISCUSSED THIS already. You being off on your own, flirting with danger and me not there to protect you. What happened over there? Or do I not want to know? No, go ahead, tell me. No, wait. Don't tell me. Or tell me. No, I don't want to know. Yes I do. Maybe ... crudbuckets, I don't know. You decide.”

I smiled. ”I'm going to bed. If you want to know my dirty little secrets you can come with me.”

”I'll be out here on your couch,” said Aidan. ”I've already checked your room. It's clear.”

”Thanks, dude. I'll see you in the morning, hopefully not too early.” I punched him lightly on the arm as I left the room, shuffling across the floor because I was too d.a.m.n tired to lift my feet.

Tim followed me in, and I shut the door after he was through. ”You have ten minutes max before I'm dead to the world. Start your twenty questions now.”

”I don't have twenty. I just have one. What is going on with you and Prince Not-So-Charming?” He stood on my dresser waiting for my answer.

I pulled off my tunic and s.h.i.+mmied out of my jeans, throwing my sleeping top over my head and jumping into bed before answering. ”Nothing, really. I'm just trying to get some information from him, and the only way to do it is to play along with his bulls.h.i.+t.”

Tim came and laid down on my other pillow, lacing his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. ”Good plan. Super spy. I like it. Did you snog?”

”I don't even know what that means.”

”Snog. You know. Get all touchy-feely. Kiss. Etcetera.”

”Like I'd tell you that. But don't worry, I don't feel that way about him. I'm just trying to get information to decide if he's a good guy or a bad guy.”

Tim sighed. ”How many times do you have to see it before you finally figure it out, my dear Jayne.”

”What's that?” I asked, yawning loudly.

”That there is no bad or good. Just shades of both, tangled up in personal history, dreams, goals, perceptions, and that little annoying feature we like to call Fate.”

The word Fate niggled at my brain, but I was too far beyond tired to think about it too much. The droning of Tim's lecture quickly put me to sleep, and the last thing I remembered hearing before I fell into unconsciousness was, ” ... and you'd better not forget that, either.”

I woke up feeling completely unrefreshed, blinking my eyes a few times to get them to function properly. Nothing seemed to be working. Blackness.

Oh s.h.i.+t. I'm stuck again. I was standing once again in the dark dreamworld inside my head, only this time I wasn't quite as disoriented or scared - just annoyed.

”Lights on, uh ... whoever's in charge,” I said. The s.p.a.ce in my head where I was hanging out was suddenly illuminated by a hidden source of light, making it possible for me to see now that I wasn't alone; Beau was standing in front of me. My annoyance changed immediately to pleasure.

I was smiling, probably like a loon. Not bad. Not bad at all, dream world. Nicely done. ”h.e.l.lo Beau,” I said, trying really hard not to admire him too openly. I felt a little bit like a fangirl, and that was just weird. He could be Chase's roommate or something. I wouldn't want my guardian angel to think I just fell for any guy with wings.

”h.e.l.lo, Jayne. Where are we?” He looked around, stoic as always.

Watching him, I realized that the complete lack of fear or even curiosity in his expression made him appear invincible. He reminded me of Chase. I felt even better about having him in my dreamworld now. If Torrie or Leck showed up, I knew Beau would have my back.

”You're in my dream. I guess I compelled you in here. Sorry about that.” I could feel a bead of sweat building up on my lip, so I quickly wiped it away. Getting all sweaty on him wouldn't be impressive at all. I schooled my features to look as cool as possible, even though inside I felt like a b.u.mbling idiot who'd never seen a cute guy before. What is it about this particular guy that makes me feel so amateur?

”Do you need me?”

I couldn't stop the laugh that burst out of my mouth. Do I need him? In what way? Am I allowed to say for short snogging sessions? The smile refused to leave my face as I said, ”I'm not sure.” For a moment I wondered what it would be like, to kiss someone like him while his wings wrapped around us; but then I thought of Chase and Spike and Ben and all the other guys in my life, deciding in pretty short order that I already had enough potential snoggers and issues with knowing what to do with guys. I probably didn't need to add to it by putting Beau on my list. And something told me this guy would be no minor addition.

”I think you must need something from me, or you would not have asked me to come here.”

”How's Chase?” I asked, wanting to change the subject and get my mind off Beau's naked chest. ”Do you ever see him?”

”I do. Chase is well.” The way he said it made me wish I hadn't asked - so cold and impersonal. As if I'd asked after his mother. But I couldn't help delving deeper into the answer, glutton for punishment that I was.

”Well, as in he's super happy, or well as in he, uhhh, misses me maybe?”

”Angels do not miss their wards ...” Beau finally got an expression on his face. A frown. Then he continued. ”... Generally speaking.”

Great. Beau's as confusing as Ben is. Why am I not surprised? ”Why do you say that? About the generally speaking thing?”

He shrugged. ”There are exceptions to every rule, apparently.”

I smiled. ”Chase and I have a special connection.”

Beau's face went blank again. ”I am not speaking of Chase.”

My stomach tightened and my face flamed red, perhaps from embarra.s.sment or maybe even from just general confusion. I was too lost to even know myself. ”Who are you talking about, then?”

He didn't answer. He just stared at me.

I was just beginning to form my next question when someone stepped into the light. Ben. I rolled my eyes. Just when things were getting interesting, Mister No-Fun has to come and ruin it all.

I quickly changed my frustration into welcome before he could notice my displeasure. I couldn't very well work my I'm-Your-Girlfriend plan if I was going to screw the whole deal up in my sleep.

”I guess we're doing the dream thing again, huh?” he asked, stopping in front of me, not even looking at Beau.

”Yeah, I guess. Sorry about that.”

”You have more to say to me?”

I looked nervously over at Beau, not sure that I wanted him seeing me do my super-spy thing on Ben. He might get the wrong impression. Why that mattered, I didn't know; but I didn't have time to question my motives. I had a tap dance to do.

”Yeah, I guess. But nothing that can't wait. How about I just see you in the morning?”

”Fine with me. Go ahead and send me back.”

”What do you think, Beau?” I asked.

Ben frowned at me. ”Did you just call me Beau?” He got an angry look in his eyes. ”It's Ben. Or are you doing that thing with the faces again?” He held up his hand, staring at the back of it and then at his arm, probably wondering if he looked like himself in my dreams or like the angel who'd come to help us battle the demons outside our doors.

Beau was just behind Ben, but because he was taller, I could see his face. He was slowly moving his head from side-to-side, as if to tell me no. It struck me as strange that Ben would allow this guy to stand behind his back like that, while he never even looked at him once. Is it possible he can't see Beau?

”Oh, sorry. I might have said Beau by accident. I'm super tired. Blame it on my only half-functioning brain.”

”Why are you thinking about Beau?” he asked, not sounding very happy about the idea.

”Are you jealous?” I said, kidding around with him. He never struck me as that type; I figured he was probably too busy thinking about how awesome he was to ever consider that someone might not be totally absorbed by him.

”We are bound.”