Volume I Part 24 (1/2)

Soon I shall write better and ards to H Farewell, and do not lose your teue,

RlCHARD WAGNER

ZURICH, October 13th, 1852

88

MY DEAR FRIEND,

I have to write to you, and am so annoyed about what I have to write to you that I would rather not take pen in hand any more

Hulsen has declined; I enclose his letter He has no notion of what the ive him a notion of it This Hulsen is personally a well-disposed e of the business under his care He treats with ht with Flotow about ”Martha” It is too disgusting I see fully that I have ht to haveconcerning the performance of ”Tannhauser” should be left wholly and entirely to you I can explain to myself how it happened that I did not hit upon this simple method: The first news frohtenedthere, and ether It is true that you occurred to uarantee, but I had first to secure your consent to undertake ”Tannhauser” in Berlin In order, as it were, to gain time, I sent to Berlin the de, and at the saent, impetuous question whether you would see to this matter

Simultaneously with your answer in the affirmative I received from Berlin the news of the delay and postpone under the i of February, I thought the ”Tannhauser” perforether, and instructed uarantee ht the matter ended, when I was told in reply that my niece would stay till the end of May and that Hulsen would undertake to announce the opera six ti the first month Thus the possibility of a perforiven up by me, was once more restored

From all the letters of Hulsen and my brother I could in the meantime see perfectly well that these people ithout any understanding of as to me essential and important in this matter; that in all their views they were so totally incapable of leaving the grooves of routine that I should have to fear they would never understand my desire to invite you to Berlin I confess that I had some anxiety on the point, but at last I wrote to Hulsen myself as clearly, warmly, cordially, and persuasively as was in my power; I at once called his attention to the fact that the hostility of the very insignificant Berlin conductors would be as nothing compared with the favourable influence which you would exercise on every side; in short, I wrote in such a manner that I could not believe in the possibility of an unfavourable answer Read that answer, and take notice that I have onceout to the world withwithand sireeable to me As yet I have not replied with a line to either Hulsen or X What do you think? Or shall I look on indifferently, ane, and turnfrom bad to worse every day, and lead an indescribably worthless life Of real enjoy; to ination, not of experience In this o to my brain, and my life becomes an artificial one; only as an ”artist” I can live; in the artist my whole ”man” has been sunk

If I could visit you in Weiht perhaps still hope to recover I should there find an ele; perhaps a word of love would meet me now and then;--but here! Here I must perish in the very shortest space of ti will coive me pleasure any ht; as I a ”written” can attract me All this co of Saxony, or perhaps his ministers, for mercy, humble myself, and confess my repentance? Who can expect that of me?

You, my only one, the dearest whoether, have mercy on me

But calm! calm! I must write to you about the ”Faust” overture

You beautifully spotted the lie when I tried to make myself believe that I had written an ”Overture to 'Faust'” You have felt quite justly what is wanting; the wo Perhaps you would at once understand my tone-poem if I called it ”Faust in Solitude”

At that time I intended to write an entire ”Faust” symphony; the first movement, that which is ready, was this ”solitary Faust,”

longing, despairing, cursing The ”fe, but not in its divine reality, and it is just this insufficient i which he destroys in his despair The second movement was to introduce Gretchen, the woman I had a theme for her, but it was only a the Dutchman” instead

This is the whole explanation If now, from a last remnant of weakness and vanity, I hesitate to abandon this ”Faust” work altogether, I shall certainly have to reards instrumental modulation The theme which you desire I cannot introduce; this would naturally involve an entirely new composition, for which I have no inclination If I publish it, I shall give it its proper title, ”Faust in Solitude”, or ”The Solitary Faust”, ”a tone-poefrieds” I finished last week, but I have still to rewrite the two earlier drafried's Death”, as very considerable alterations have become necessary I shall not have finished entirely before the end of the year The co”, ”a festival stage-play in three days and one previous evening: previous evening, ”The Rhinegold”; first day, ”The Valkyrie”; second day, ”Young Siegfried”; third day, ”Siegfried's Death” What fate this poem, the poem of my life and of all that I am and feel, will have I cannot as yet determine So much, however, is certain: that if Germany is not very soon opened toon my artistic existence without nourishment and attraction, my aniether What I shall do then to support my life I do not know, but I shall not write the s can ask er

Alas! I always relapse into the reat brutality in thischeered up bybut sorrow I can disseer; and, let ill despise me, I shall cry out my sorrow to the world, and shall not conceal er What use would it be if I were to lie to you? But of one thing youelse is possible: we must see each other next summer

Consider that this is a necessity; that ittoto you Promise me for quite certain in your next letter that you will come Promise me!

We must see how I shall be able to exist till then Farewell

Bear with ood cheer Perhaps you will soon be rid of me Farewell, and write soon to