Volume I Part 16 (1/2)

I did not write to you at once in order to write to you th and more calmly on a favourable day Then ca” of April 12th, and onceto end It is difficult for me to describe the impression your work of friendshi+p has made on me just at this time I was oncelike bitter irony on the thought of having to begin a new artistic labour The artistic reat, h at ht, for exafried;” and this lanced through ust, and hter were not of a cheerful kind Then you approached hted, warht tears welled forth, and that oncean artist and of creating works I have no name for the effect you have produced uponbut the erether with it such voluptuous pain, such painfully intoxicating joy, such delight in being abut sorrow--that I regret only to have to write all this to you

And how strangely everything happens with you! Would I could describe my love for you! There is no torture, but, on the other hand, no joy, which does not vibrate in this love One day jealousy, fear of what is strange to rieve ain so breaks forth inis devoured by this conflagration, which nothing but a streauish at last You are a wonderful ht have terribly hated, one another All that I wanted to write to you ell-balanced composure must now cofried” I shall begin at the couarantee of my existence! I shall not starve For ; he pays me one hundred thalers; it is very little, but I don't think I can get any roat by for h, you will help me with as much as you may happen to have for a poor friend Frau R in D will also do her part off and on, and in the winter I shall earn again a few louis d'or by conducting syo to the devil after all if only my ill keep calm So let us leave the Grand duchess alone; I can and will not ask her for anything even in the most indirect manner If she made htfrom a princess, but this possibility, even if it never should happen, Iher for a proof of her kindness Aith all business transactions as to this question! Up till now the sympathy of that princely lady has made so beautiful an ireed? I think so

You ask me about the ”Judenthum” You must know that the article is by me Why do you ask? Not fro this question into bare personality, I appear in a pseudony-repressed hatred for this Jewry, and this hatred is as necessary to all is to the blood An opportunity arose when their da annoyed me most, and so I broke forth at last It seems to have made a tremendous impression, and that pleases hten them in this manner; that they will remain the masters is as certain as that not our princes, but the bankers and the Philistines, are nowadays our masters Towards Meyerbeer usts me beyond measure This eternally amiable and pleasant man reminds me of the most turbid, not to say most vicious, period of my life, when he pretended to be my protector; that was a period of connections and back stairs e are made fools of by our protectors, whom in our inmost heart we do not like This is a relation of the most perfect dishonesty; neither party is sincere towards the other; one and the other assume the appearance of affection, and bothas their mutual interest requires it For the intentional impotence of his politeness towards lad not to be his debtor as deeply as, for example, B But it was quite time that I should free myself perfectly from this dishonest relation towards him Externally there was not the least occasion for it, for even the experience that he was not sincere towards ht to be angry, because at bottom I had to own that I had intentionally deceived myself about him But from inner causes arose the necessity to relinquish all considerations of coard to him As an artist I cannot exist before myself andand confessing onisenuine desperation when I stin common with Meyerbeer Before none of my friends I can appear in clear and definite form, with all that I desire and feel, unless I separate myself entirely from the nebulous outline in which many see me This is an act necessary for the perfect birth of my matured nature; and if God wills, I hope to be of service tothis act so zealously

What you will think of this--that--just iine--I do not as yet know exactly I knoho you are and perfectly feel what you are, and yet it must appear to me as if in this point you could not as yet be entirely your own self But enough of this There are earthly things on which wefros If you don't approve of so here, shut your eyes to it

Let ood news of you In your most intimate relations you seem to me so sadly placed that I am quite melancholy about it Is the illness of the Princess so serious that, apart fro duration, it inspires you with real anxiety? I must almost fear this unless you reassure me about it

Do this as soon as you can, and tell the highly estees

Dear, dear Liszt, arrange that we soon may see each other

Perhaps the Princess would benefit by Swiss air; send her here and coo on today I wanted to write to you about your Goethe foundation, but must wait for a calnity

Farewell, and be pressed to the heart of your

RICHARD WAGNER

ENGE, ZURICH, April 18th, 1851

I doubt whether the correction of the proof will still be necessary, but have sent it to Leipzig nevertheless

60

Then we are to have ”Young Siegfried”! You are truly a most incredible fellow, to whom one must doff hat and bonnet three times The satisfactory settlement of this ine, I have perfect faith in your work But let us say nothing about it until you send in ”Young Siegfried” (July 1st, 1852), so as to avoid the useless preli Zigesar; and we are anxious to keep it frorin” at its last performance (the fifth) on Sunday was appreciated more than ever, and actors and orchestra also ca and the interpretation of the work

The house was filled for the greater part, it is true, by Erfurters, Nauhbourhood, for, to speak candidly, our Weymar public, with the exception of about a dozen persons, are not yet sufficiently advanced to be in real syrin” has reached its fifth performance in one season is a kind of miracle which must be attributed to the Court The Hereditary Grand duchess had especially asked for this performance on the occasion of her first visit to the theatre after her confine came David and Moscheles, from Halle Robert Franz, from Eisenach Kuhnstedt Professor Stahr, who has become a dear friend, and fanny Lewald have been here about a fortnight

Stahr is going to write about ”Lohengrin” in the National Zeitung or Kolnische Zeitung If after reading his article you feel inclined to write him a few lines, send them to Weyrin” article in the Wei, which he has probably sent to you After the perforrin” I received your letter about the Goethe foundation, and I thank you cordially for it I may mention, however, that perhaps no less than two years' time and trouble will be required to make the idea of the Goethe foundation a reality I am prepared to devote that time to it, because I a here will si, as has already happened at Berlin

Should you not be inclined to publish your letter in its actual form of a letter to me in some newspaper which is open to you? I will send it back to you in a few days for that purpose, asking you, however, to return it to me at Weymar as soon as you have done with it

The day after too to Eilsen for the third time, but hope to be back here at Whitsuntide At the close of the theatrical season we shall have either ”Tannhauser” or ”Lohengrin” once more The direction of the former work I think I may now leave to Gotze

If possible, send ) I can ood use of it in connection with the pamphlet which is to be published (in French) in June by Brockhaus If your article on the Zurich theatre has appeared, send it also toand working I am most curious to know your views and practical proposals with regard to theatrical matters, and I shall be most ready to adopt your ideas as far as possible

Draw up occasionally for me a repertory of earlier and modern works which appear to you most adapted to further the cause of art At present I cannot help thinking it advisable tostate of our theatrical institutions

Be well and active, dear, splendid friend, and soon give news to your

F LISZT