Part 7 (1/2)
”No; that is decidedly _wrong_. When Miss Beebe married, she became not only Mrs. Gordon, but Mrs. George Gordon, to distinguish her from any other Mrs. Gordons who might happen to exist. She should _sign_ herself 'Sarah B. Gordon,' but her letters and cards should bear her married name, 'Mrs. George Gordon.'”
”But people do write to widows in that way, don't they?” asked Gertrude.
”I recollect, when I went to the post-office with Berry Joy one day, there was a letter for her mother, directed to Mrs. Louisa Bailey Joy.”
”Yes; people do, but not the people who know the right way,” her mother replied dryly. ”A man's Christian name doesn't die with him any more than his surname. I often see letters addressed to Mrs. Jane this and Mrs. Maria that, but it never seems to me either correct or elegant. It is a purely American custom. English people have never adopted it, and it seems very odd to them.”
”Well, about cards,” continued Marian, who was turning over the leaves of the ”Manual of Gentility.” ”See what a funny little card this is; and the writer of the book says it is the kind we ought to have.” She pointed to a page on which appeared a little oblong enclosure bearing the name
+----------------------+
_Fannie C. Jones._
+----------------------+
”That isn't nice a bit, is it, mamma?”
”No, I confess that it does not look to me at all right. Girls old enough to need cards are old enough to have 'handles to their names.' If I were that young woman I should spell 'f.a.n.n.y' without the _ie_, and call myself 'Miss Frances C. Jones' on my card, and keep my pet name for the use of my friends, and not print it.”
”I think I've learned a good deal to-day,” said Candace. ”The funny old book isn't right in what it says, but Cousin Kate knows; so it comes to the same thing in the end. I'm glad you gave it to me, Gertrude.”
Gertrude had the grace to feel ashamed, as she saw Candace's perfect freedom from shame.
”Oh, dear! how much there is to learn!” continued Candace, with a sigh.
She was still deep in the ”Ladies' Manual of Perfect Gentility.”
”Put away that book, Cannie,” said her cousin; ”or give it to me, and I will hide it where Gertrude shall not find it again. Good breeding can be learned without printed rules.”
”Can it, mamma?”
”Yes; for, as I was saying this morning to Gertrude, good manners are the result of good feeling. If we really care about other people, and want to make them happy, and think of them and not of ourselves, we shall instinctively do what will seem pleasant to them, and avoid doing what is disagreeable. We shall refrain from interrupting them when they are speaking. We shall not half listen to what they say, while our eyes are roving about the room, and our attention wandering to other things.
We shall be quick to notice if they want anything that we can get for them. We shall not answer at random, or giggle, or say the wrong thing.
We shall not loll back in our chairs, as Georgie is doing at this moment, with one foot c.o.c.ked over the other knee, and a paint-brush in our mouths.”
”Mamma!” And Georgie hastily recovered the upright position, and took her paint-brush from between her lips.
”We shall not drum idly on window-panes, as Gertrude was doing just now, for fear that the little noise will be disagreeable to our neighbors.”
”Now, mamma!”
”We shall not walk carelessly between any one and the fire, because we shall be afraid of making them cold; nor shall we upset a work-basket while doing so, as Marian upset mine just now.”
”Mamma, I do believe you are giving us all a scolding; I shall just stop you.” And Marian flung her arms round her mother's neck, and gave her half a dozen enormous kisses.
”We shall consider a kiss as a favor,” went on Mrs. Gray, inexorably, holding Marian off at arm's length, ”not a punishment to be inflicted whenever we happen to feel like it. We shall never trot one foot when we are nervous, and shake the table.”
”Cannie, that's you. I thought it would be your turn soon,” said Marian.
”Oh! did I trot?” said Cannie. ”Please excuse me, Cousin Kate. I have such a bad habit of doing that. Aunt Myra says it's my safety-valve.”
”If it's a safety-valve, it's all very well,” replied her cousin. ”I didn't know. In short, my dears, as the poet says,--
'Manners are not idle, but the fruit Of n.o.ble nature and of lofty mind.'