Part 17 (1/2)
The nurse checks the monitors and the readout of his vitals. ”It was probably a minor muscle spasm. When we're unconscious, our involuntary systems are still working, and sometimes that causes a muscle to jolt.”
”It doesn't mean anything?”
She shakes her head. ”No.”
Deflating, I sink back down into my chair and wait.
Chapter 26.
Waukegan, Illinois 19 Months Ago My first semester at J. Vernon went as planned, with Maverick and I seeing each other at least once a week. On the off days, we called.
Now, it's New Year's Eve, and Maverick rented a cabin for us on Lake Michigan.
Finley leans her head on my shoulder, s.h.i.+vering. ”Quite different than last year, huh?”
I peer into the cabin. Maverick and Jake are still in the kitchen, making us a fancy dinner. No girls allowed, they said, so Finn and I are sitting outside on the porch swing.
”Colder for sure,” I agree, blowing hot air into my cupped hands. The outdoor heaters are running on high, but it still feels like zero degrees out here.
”How many paintings did you do this week?”
”Three good ones. The scenery around here is almost dreamlike. Especially with the morning frost and ice-covered trees.”
”Sounds freezing.”
”Hey, Finn?”
”Yeah?”
”You like Maverick, don't you?”
”Absolutely. He's perfect for you.”
”What about you and Jake? Seven months is a long time. I'm not sure if I should be worried or proud.”
”Jake's a goof. He makes me laugh and the s.e.x is great, but is that enough?”
”Enough for what?”
”For love?”
I stroke Finn's hair. ”Maybe. Do you think you love him?”
”I don't know.”
”Does he love you?”
Finn's quiet as she considers this. ”How'd you know you loved Maverick?”
”Because he encourages me and wants me for me. When he smiles, it's genuine. When he laughs, it's contagious. When he kisses me, it's bliss. Nothing is forced, and nothing comes with strings attached. It's just him. It's just us.”
”Is that what love is? Like, friends.h.i.+p with benefits?”
”Yeah, I think so. Accepting each other-the good, the bad, the scars, the joy-and walking through the potholes and the clouds, side by side.”
”I told Jake I loved him once. I wanted to hear what it sounded like out loud, but once the words were out, I regretted them. Other than you, I've never loved someone I wasn't related to, and I wasn't ready. It didn't feel right, you know?”
”What did he say?”
Finley sits up to look at me. ”That's the scary part. He said he loved me too.”
My best friend isn't like me. She isn't a hopeless romantic, never gets googly-eyed over puppies, and groans every time I suggest we see the latest rom-com at the theatre. Men have one purpose in her life, and when she's through with them, she moves on to the next.
So Jake verbally reciprocating her sentiments is a big deal, but not the way it is for most girls. The fear in Finley's stare is blazing crimson.
”How long ago was that?” I ask.
”Last month.”
”Has he said it since?”
She curls her lip between her teeth and nods. ”I can't say anything back.”
I reach for her, and she lays her head back onto my shoulder. ”Earlier today, he asked me if I loved him. I told him of course I did. Then he asked why I never tell him. I never meant for things to go this far.”
”You could always tell him the truth. That you need more time.”
She pulls away and stuffs her hands into her pockets. ”He'll know I lied when I told him.”
”It's better than trying to keep up the lie. And maybe if you explain it, he'll understand.”
”Yeah, maybe.” Then she breaks into a half-grin. ”We're a mess, you know that, right? You and me and this stupid game of love.” She sings the last part and sticks out her tongue.
”True,” I say, ”but the beauty of the game is that in the end, there aren't any losers.”
”It's not the end I'm worried about.”
”You can't have an ending without a beginning and a middle.”
A knock on the French doors makes me turn. Jake is there, waving us inside.
I face my best friend again. ”Give him a shot. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise you.”
She stands up and sticks her hand out to me. ”Come on. Let's go see what meal those boys have probably ruined.”
”So much faith you have.”