Isekai C-Mart Hanjouki c013 (1/2)

The Inimitable Chainsaw

“Hey, Master?”

Same old C-Mart. Same old scene inside the shop.

The elf girl—who had been sitting in a stupor and photosynthesizing in the sunlight in front of the shop all customer-free morning—had spoken.

“What?” I responded as I rearranged merchandise in the shade of the shop’s interior.

“Why is our shop called ‘C-Mart’?”

“Hm?”

The elf girl was craning her neck almost enough to snap it, looking up at the front of the shop.

I went out front. And looked up.

Along with the elf girl, I looked at the shop’s sign.

‘C-Mart’ was written on it in deep black magic marker. It was the shop’s name.

“It’s nothing particularly meaningful. Well, if you insist. A long time ago, I saw this movie that—”

“What’s a ‘mhoo-vee’?”

“Don’t interrupt. It’s a sort of entertainment in my world. A kind of story. Anyway, a long time ago I saw this movie, ‘Captain Supermarket’. The main charac—”

“Ohh. So it’s that ‘C’? C-Mart’s ‘C’ is from that? I mean, ‘Captain’ is spelled C-A-P-T-A-I-N, right?”

“No idea. I’m awful at English. Maybe? I remember the first letter was C,” I said.

Actually…

…how did she know more about languages from my world that I did? Was she good at English?

But she was an idiot elf! So how? How!? How!?

“Oh! Welcome! Come right in! Have a look around!”

Customers had come so we went back into the shop.

They were four men and women.

Two men, and two women.

They seemed a little different from the townsfolk.

All four seemed…unsavory?

You could tell they were different starting with their clothes. All were wearing at least light armor. They had swords at their waists or axes across their backs. The girls had whips and maces.

Ah-hah. So these were ‘adventurers’.

I was somewhat taken aback.

My first time seeing actual adventurers!

Despite coming to a fantasy world, I had never seen anything like adventurers!

This other world was amazing! Super amazing!

“We are here because we heard this shop offers many unusual items,” said the swordsman, who looked to be their leader.

He was fairly handsome. And fairly full of himself.

“That’s right! We have many items useful to adventurers here!” I busted out the sales talk immediately.

I had suspected this might happen.

So, besides the usual top-sellers, I had also brought over a number of the various conveniences of modern civilization.

I began pulling out a variety of things that weren’t normally on the shelves.

“What sort of things do you have?”

“How about this!?”

The first thing I brought out was…

“This item is called an ‘electric flashlight’.”

“Humph. How do you use it?”

I gave a big grin and flipped the switch on.

A bright beam of light flared out straight before me.

“Is that all?”

“Huh?”

The adventurer was not impressed at all.

He signaled a comrade with a flick of his fingers.

The comrade took a tool from her backpack that fit in the palm of her hand.

Then she gave its metallic central part a twist.

Bright light sprang forth from the little capsule.

It put the light of the flashlight to shame.

“We’re using light stones. The light lasts three years for ones this size. How long does your ‘eck-leck-rick flash light’ or whatever last?”

“Um, thirty to forty hours?”

“How much time is an ‘hour’?”

“Around a few dozen sempts,” answered the idiot elf.

“Not interested then.”

The adventurer snickered at me.

“Have you got anything else?”

“Well, uh…um…!”

Now fl.u.s.tered, the next thing I pulled out was a disposable lighter.

“How about something like this? This is one of our shop’s top sellers, actually.”

I held up the lighter in front of the adventurers and flicked it on a number of times.

The matrons from town were always suitably impressed by this.

“It’s so convenient to start a fire this easily,” they gushed.

“Humph,” the man sighed.

And then snapped his fingers.

A flame ignited on the tip of his index finger.

I stared at that little flame.

Huh? Wha? Is that…?

Is that…magic?

“Even a mere swordsman like me can do a basic, low-level fire spell like that.”

“Master, I think you should sell them canned food. Master? Hey, are you listening? Idiot Master?” the idiot elf said, slipping past me.

She stood before to the adventurers, goods in hand.

“This preserved food is the pride of our shop. It’s completely sanitary. What’s more, you can enjoy the taste of fresh meat even in the depths of a dungeon. It’s far, far more delicious than dried meat. A good adventure requires good food. How about it? Would you care to try some?”

That was a slick sales pitch. She was a pretty smooth talker for an idiot elf.

In short order, she had opened one can of food, thrust in a toothpick, and gotten the adventurer try it.

After a bite of the soy-ginger beef, the adventurer’s brows furrowed slightly in surprise.

“How long does this keep for?”

“Master, canned food keeps for several years, right?”

“Uh, um…yeah.”

I checked the cans. The use-by date was May 2020.

“Keeps for several eldica.” The elf girl grinned.

“Whoa. That’s incredible.” The adventurer finally uttered some words of admiration. “How many do you have?”

“Right now? About 100. No, wait. 107 cans,” the elf girl said.

We only had 100 in stock.

The seven she had added were from her own supply of meals for the day.

“Oy, that last seven are your—”

“Master, please shut up,” snapped the elf girl.

I shut up.

“We’ll take all your ‘kyand food’. We were just about to set off for our next dungeon. But more importantly—” the adventurer said, and grabbed the elf girl’s hand. “You. Would you join our party? You’re a high level magic user, right? I don’t know why you’re working at a shop like this, but if you come with us, I’m sure we can offer you better.”

“Oh, my. No, sir, no. There’s been a mistake. I mean, I can’t use magic. At all.”

Still wearing her customer service smile, the elf girl gave the man grasping her hand a hard pinch to make him let her go.

“Anyway, it’s fun working for my Master. He’s great.”

“This guy?” the adventurer snickered.

He looked at me and gave a smirk.

“Our name is ‘Phantom Bulleta’. No doubt you’ve heard of us? We specialize in undead—”

“Well, excuse me if my shop sucks,” I muttered and took a step forward.

I glared up at the adventurer.

When this guy had started in on her, I had worried what the idiot elf would do.

Given everything, surely she would choose to go with the adventurers.

I had though that for a moment.

Because, you know.

I ridiculed her every day. And fed her dog food. And all did sorts of things to her.

But the idiot elf seemed to be plenty put off by this guy.

She was even turning him down.

Right, then.

It was my job as manager to protect my employees from getting hit on.

“Pardon me, but if you could refrain from hitting on anyone while on these premis—”

“How about you shut up. We came all this way based on rumors about this place. And what do we find? Nothing but junk. If we leave empty-handed, we wasted our time. But if she joined our party, it would totally make up for it.”

The adventurer only had eyes for the elf girl again.

“So what about it? Please join us. Our next dungeon is a hive of undead. We’d feel safer having a magic user like you along,” he said and tried to grab the idiot elf’s hand again.

The idiot elf slipped away.

All right!

“Ah-hah. So it’s about money? I see. Then, would this be enough to buy her freedom?”

He tossed a leather pouch on the floor.

The bag landed flat on the floor with a heavy thud.

No doubt it held a large amount of gold nuggets.

I heard a ‘vrum-vrum-vrum’ sound.

I definitely could hear that somewhere inside my head.