Part 26 (1/2)
Norman smiled and shook his head.
”Sorry, Comrade Bob,” he replied. ”We haven't men enough to organize the minstrels yet. We must rush the new building. We have thousands of new members clamouring to join. We have nowhere to house them.”
”Ya.s.sah, an' I 'spec' dey'll be clamourin' ter unjine fo' long,” old Bob muttered, as he pa.s.sed on to be comforted by Catherine's soothing words.
Saka, the Indian, whom Colonel Worth had educated, had followed Norman. He demanded a return ticket to the Colonel's hunting lodge.
It was promptly refused. Catherine attempted to soothe his ruffled feelings. He snapped his fingers in her face and grunted.
The Brotherhood of Man saw Saka no more for many moons, but the crack of his rifle was heard on the mountain side and the smoke of his tepee curled defiantly from the neighbouring plains.
The chef appeared before the court in answer to numerous complaints about the table.
”I must have the law laid down for the tables, Comrade Judges,” he demanded. ”One man wants one thing and another refuses to eat at the table where such food is served. A dozen men and women ask only for bread, vegetables, and nuts. They refuse to eat meat. They refuse to allow me to cook it or any one else to eat it if they can help it.
They make my life miserable. I want permission to kick them out of the kitchen. They demand the right to inspect my pots and pans to see if meat has touched them. They must go or I go. I will not be insulted by fools. If you do not give me permission to kick these people out of the kitchen I will do so without permission. You can take your choice.”
The cook mopped his brow and sat down with a defiant wave of his arm.
A woman who had been a leader of the W.C.T.U. pressed forward before the cook's demand could be considered.
”And I demand in the name of truth, purity, righteousness, justice, faith, and G.o.d, that no more wine be allowed on the table. I demand that we burn the wine house and issue an order to the cook never again, under penalty of imprisonment for life, to use a drop of alcohol in the food he serves to the Brotherhood----”
”And I also demand, Comrade Judges,” the cook interrupted, ”the right to throw that woman out of the kitchen and have her fined and imprisoned the next time she dares to interfere with my business. She got into the pantry yesterday and destroyed five hundred mince pies because she smelled brandy in them.”
”Yes, and I'll do it again if you dare to poison the bodies and souls of my comrades with that h.e.l.lish stuff!” she cried, triumphantly.
”I'd like to know,” the cook shouted, ”how I'm to do my work if every fool in creation can b.u.t.t into my business?”
”Softly! Softly!” Norman warned.
”I mean it!” thundered the chef. ”This woman swears she will wreck the dining-room if I dare to place wine again on our bill of fare. I want to know if she's in command of this colony? If so, you can count me out!”
”And while we are on this point, Comrade Judges,” spoke up a mild-looking little man, ”I have summoned a neighbour of mine to appear before you and show cause why he should _not_ cease to have sauerkraut served at breakfast. He sits at my table. I've begged him to stop it. I've begged the cook to stop cooking the stuff, but he bribes the cook----”
”That's a lie,” shouted the chef.
”I saw him do it, your honours,” the little man went on. ”I'm a small-sized man or I'd lick him. I tried to move my seat but they wouldn't let me. I pledge you my word when he brings that big dish of steaming sauerkraut to our table it fogs the whole end of the dining-room. The odour is so strong it not only stops you from eating, you can't think. It knocks you out for the day.”
”Is it possible,” Norman inquired, ”that there is a human being among us who eats sauerkraut for breakfast?”
”There's no doubt about it, comrade,” promptly responded a tall, strapping-looking fellow, with a dark, scholarly face, as he stepped to the front.
”That's him!” cried the little accuser. ”I made him come. Told him I'd organize a party to lynch him if he didn't. He won't dare deny it. I can prove it.”
”I have no desire to deny that I eat sauerkraut, you little ape,” he replied with scorn. ”I come of German ancestry, comrades. My great-grandfather helped to create this nation. He was a pure-blooded German. I inherit from him my personal likes and dislikes. Sauerkraut is the best breakfast food ever served to man. It is a pure vegetable malt. It is wholesome, clean, healthful, and keeps the system of a brain worker in perfect order. I eat it with ham gravy and good hot wheat biscuits. It is some trouble for the cook to prepare this particular kind of soft tea-biscuit for me. I paid him a little extra for this bread--not the kraut. I suggest to your honours that you make sauerkraut a standard breakfast diet as a health measure. They may kick a little at first, but I a.s.sure you it will improve the health and character of the colony. If this little chap who accuses me were put on a diet of kraut for breakfast it might even now make a man of him. I not only have nothing to apologize for, I bring you good tidings. I proclaim sauerkraut the only perfect health food for breakfast, and I suggest its compulsory use. The man who sits next to me eats snails. I think the habit a filthy and dangerous one. If you are going into this question, do it thoroughly. Let us fix by law what is fit to eat, and stick to it. I'll back sauerkraut before any dietary commission ever organized on earth.”
The council appointed a commission to conduct hearings and make a rigid code of laws establis.h.i.+ng the kind of foods for each meal.
Again Roland Adair, the Bard of Ramcat, rose, shook his long hair and cleared his throat.