Part 82 (2/2)
”I'm as right as rain physically, Old Un, but--”
”Talkin' o' physic, Guv,” said the old man, seating himself and nodding brightly, ”talkin' o' physic, the physic as set you on your pins again was love, Guv, love!”
”But it so happens--”
”Wait a bit, I ain't done, Guv! 'Ere 's me, a old cove as 'as lived 'ears an' 'ears an' 'ears an' 'ears longer 'n you, so nacherally I'm a powerful lot fuller o' th' wisdom o' life than you, specially in matters o' th' 'eart, Guv. Now me, 'avin' 'elped you into th' matrimonial ring, as you might say, 'ave took your 'appiness under my wing, an', Guv, I don't like the way you're shapin'--”
”But you see--”
”'Old 'ard, Guv, let a pore old cove get a word in for a change. Now there's you an' 'er, your fair young spouse, both up to each other's weight, sound in wind an' limb an' meant for j'y--what I want is t' see you come to a clinch! This ain't no time for sparrin' an'
out-fightin'--yet 'ere you are a-feintin' at each other from opposite corners--”
”But--”
”'Arf a mo', Guv, 'arf a mo'--gimme a chance for a occasional word! An'
don't frown, Guv, don't frown at a pore old cove; y' see, there's jest three blokes in this 'ard world as my old 'eart warms to, an' one on 'em 's Joe, an' t' other un 's you, an' t' other un 's 'er--which ain't a bloke. Lord, Guv, what a soft armful o' beauty! 'Ow warm an' cuddlesome!
Oh, Guv, what a waist! What lips! What--”
”Old Un, for heaven's sake, shut up! D' you think I'm blind? D' you think--”
”Guv, I dunno wot t' think! 'Ere 's you with your 'ead in your 'ands, an' there's 'er sighin' an' sighin'--”
”Sighing? Where? When? Why--”
”Sighin' an' sighin', Guv, so soft an' pretty--I 'eard 'er! Also she wep'--I seen 'er.”
”Where?”
”An' 'er tears, Guv, them pearly tears went t' my 'eart--an' n.o.body t'
put a arm round that waist, nor kiss them sweet lips, nor soothe them tears away--
”'Oh, alone she sat sighin' by a green willer tree, With 'er 'and on 'er bosom, 'er 'ead on 'er knee, Weepin' willer” willer, willer my garlan' shall be.'
”So, Guv, I ax you, man to man, why, oh, why are ye neglectin' your fair young spouse? An', Guv, I only ax because your 'appiness an' 'ers is mine--s' 'elp me!”
”How if it's the other way about, Old Un? Suppose she avoids me?”
”Why lumme, Guv! 'T is a sure sign she needs persoot. Remember this:
”'Im as would lovely woman woo 'E lovely woman must persoo, For if 'e don't, 't is plain as plain That feller 'e will woo in vain.'
”An', Guv, I've only took th' liberty o' sayin' this because my pore old bowels yearns to ye--both on ye. Persoot's the word, Guv, per-soot!”
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