Part 79 (2/2)
”Oh, wake thee, oh, wake thee, my bonny bird, Oh, wake and sleep no more; Thy pretty pipe I 'ave n't 'eard, But, lumme, how you snore!”
Mr. Brimberly stared; Mr. Brimberly's mouth opened, and eventually Mr.
Brimberly rose and surveyed the intruder slowly, up from glittering shoes to the dome of his head and down again; and Mr. Brimberly's ample bosom surged, his eye kindled, and his whiskers--!
”Cheer-o!” nodded the Old Un.
Mr. Brimberly blinked and pulled down his waistcoat.
”Me good man,” said he, ”you'll find the tradesmen's entrance round the corner. Go away, if you please, and go immediate--I'm prehoccupied.”
”No, you ain't; you're the butler, you are, I lay my oath--
”'Spoons an' forks An' drawin' corks'
”that's your job, ain't it, chum?”
”Chum!” said Mr. Brimberly in tones of horror. ”Chum!” he repeated, grasping a handful of indignant whisker. ”Oh, outragious! Oh, very hobscene! 'Ow dare you, sir? 'Oo are you, sir, eh, sir--answer me, an'
answer--prompt!”
”Leave them cobwebs alone, an' I'll tell you, matey.”
”Matey!” groaned Mr. Brimberly, turning up his eyes.
”I'm the Guv's familiar friend and personal pal, I am. I'm 'is adviser, confeedential, matreemonial, circ.u.mstantial, an' architect'ral.
I'm 'is trainer, advance agent, manager, an' sparrin' partner--that's who I am. An' now, mate, 'avin' 'elped to marry 'im, I've jest took a run down 'ere to see as all things is fit an' proper for 'is 'oneymoon!”
”My word, this is a mad feller, this is!” murmured Mr. Brimberly, ”or else 'e 's drunk!”
”Drunk?” exclaimed the Old Un, clapping on his hat very much over one eye and glaring, ”wot--me?”
”I repeat,” said Mr. Brimberly, addressing the universe in general, ”I repeats as 'e is a narsty, drunken little person!”
”Person?” cried the Old Un, scowling, ”why, you peris.h.i.+n'--”
”Old!” said Mr. Brimberly, ”'old, I beg! Enough 'as been said--go 'ence!
'Oo you are I do not know, wot you are I do not care, but in these regions you do not remain; your langwidge forbids and--”
”Langwidge?” snorted the Old Un. ”Why, I ain't begun yet, you blinkin', fat-faced, owl-eyed piece o' sooet--”
”Your speech, sir,” continued Mr. Brimberly with calm austerity and making the most of whiskers and waistcoat, ”your speech is redolent of slums and back halleys. I don't know you. I don't want to know you! You are a feller! Go away, feller!”
”Feller?” snarled the Old Un, ”why you--”
”I repeat,” said Mr. Brimberly with dignified deliberation, ”I repeat as you are a very low, vulgar little feller!”
The Old Un clenched his fists.
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