Part 16 (1/2)

Scott: Oh, I can believe it. I've been dreading this night for a long time.

Me: What? (Touches him on arm.) Stop pacing and look at me for one second. I've never seen you this nervous. What's wrong?

Scott: Forget it. It's nothing. It's just . . . hard to talk about.

Me: Hey, it's me. We've been through dress rehearsals tons of times. Are you worried about your lines? Afraid you'll screw up the sword fighting? I know you're going to do great. We've practiced it, like, a hundred times.

Scott: I wish. Nope. It's not the sword fighting. That I have down.

Me: What, then? If you tell me, maybe I can help.

Scott: Um, no, you're, like, the last person who can help.

Me: (Frustrated.) Fine.

Scott: Hey, I didn't mean it like that. It's just . . . well . . . Jayden.

Me: Oh, no. What about Jayden?

Scott: (Shakes head.) This is so embarra.s.sing!

Me: What?

Scott: I have to kiss her!

Me: (Pauses, takes deep breath.) So? You guys have practiced this, right?

Scott: No! That's just it! Every time we rehea.r.s.ed the scene, something happened, you know, to interrupt us. Like, she got fogged! And Mr. Cannon never got back to it.

Me: But tonight's the real thing. You have to go through the whole play just like it'll be on opening night.

Scott: So, I was wondering . . . do you think you could maybe, like, be standing by with the fog machine again?

Me: Um, I think once was enough on the fogging thing.

Scott: Too bad. I gotta think of something!

Me: Scott. You're an actor. You're Romeo. Romeo has to kiss Juliet. Or there wouldn't be a play. The show must go on, and all that junk. (Wait! What am I saying?) Scott: Do you think Romeo could kiss her on the hand?

Me: Sorry. No. C'mon, she's not that bad.

Scott: Oh, yeah? If you don't mind swapping spit with a Flutternutter.

Me: Fluffernutter. Marshmallow stuff? Like you put on a sandwich when you're a kid? Never mind. (Holds out pretend sword.) En garde!

Scott: (Laughs.) C'mon, be serious? You gotta help me.

Me: How?

Scott: Like, give me some stage directions or some ideas on how to get through this.

Me: I'm not going to help you kiss Jayden Pffeffer!

Scott: You mean Juliet.

Me: Fine.

Scott: Okay, so what should I do? If I want it to look real and everything, I mean.

Me: Okay, first, don't think about Jayden. (Think about me!) Scott: Done.

Me: Just think about Juliet, and how Romeo would feel, and try to be in the moment, ya know?

Scott: Okay . . .

Me: Then, um, well, let's see. If it was me, and I was hoping for the perfect kiss, you know? I'd say, pretend kind of like you're slow dancing . . .

Scott: Okay, you lost me there. You know I don't dance.

Me: Yes, you do. I've seen you. (Takes left arm and lifts it.) Just put your left hand on her shoulder, like this, and then, maybe touch the back of her hair with your other hand. (Puts hand to back of head.) Then pull her close to you . . .

Scott: Like this? (Pulls me close, closes eyes, and . . . we kiss!) Me: (Whispers.) Perfect. (Takes in breath. Opens eyes.) Minus the mustache, of course. (Straightens mustache.) Scott: (Cracks up laughing.) Me: Was it . . . awful? The mustache, I mean.

Scott: Kind of like kissing Santa Claus.

Me: (Playfully punches him in the arm.) Thanks a lot, mister! Some Romeo. Sure, kiss me now, but kill me later.

Scott: No, seriously, thanks. It's good practice. (Lowers voice.) In case I'm ever in a play where I have to give mouth-to-mouth to a yeti.

Me: (Cracks up.) Thanks a lot. Now, go out there and knock 'em dead. But first, one more little piece of advice.

Scott: Yeah, great. What is it?

Me: Whatever you do, when you're about to kiss Jayden . . .

Scott: Yeah?

Me: Just picture a yeti!

Scott: (Cracks up.) A green-eyed yeti, you mean.

Me: Now go. Good luck! I mean, break a leg. (Pushes Romeo through curtain onto stage. House lights dim.) Me: (Steps into the wings backstage. Hands go to my lips - not to straighten my mustache this time. Sound disappears. Thinks. Remembers. To self: For just a moment, one perfect moment, I got to be Juliet.) Upstairs in my room, I glued the final cloud pictures on my poster board, a series of almost-purple clouds from tonight's sunset. I was mopping up extra glue when Alex and Joey came back from the Raven. Alex, still half-dressed as Tybalt in boots, tights, and a long, puffy-sleeved s.h.i.+rt, floated across the room. She leaned against the bookcase as if she needed it to help hold her up.

”How was dress rehearsal?” I asked.

Joey circled around the rug, waving her arms. ”You should have seen it, Stevie. Romeo climbed up Dad's ladder without falling for once, but his arm got caught on Jayden's belt, and the whole thing broke. Hundreds of pearls went flying and Jayden was, like, 'Whoa,' and she slipped and fell right as Romeo was about to kiss Juliet.”

”Don't look at me,” Alex said with a glint in her eye.

”It was so funny, I died laughing. Except Mr. Cannon didn't think so. Dad asked me if I did it on purpose but I didn't. Cross my heart!”