Part 7 (1/2)

So he closed the door and let her have her privacy. More picture taking lay ahead once she was clean. He moved away from the door, then slumped down on his bed, burying his face in his hands, feeling the tremors of absolute horror wracking his mind, body, and soul. G.o.d, I nearly lost her today G.o.d, I nearly lost her today. Tears stung in his eyes, and he had to blink hard to be rid of them. With trembling hands and a chill racing down his spine, he pulled his cell phone from his jeans pocket and sent a simple text-L's dad. Bad sitch. Loft. ASAP-to both Audrey and Bradley at the same time.

Then he set out to await their arrival. And to keep breathing until then. No conscious thoughts ran through his mind. Only emotions swelled inside him, and he let them take over as he sat still in place, unable to move an inch, wanting so desperately for things to be all right once more. He was held together by a thread, a tenuous tether to ground him to reality. In his fantasies, Bro hurt Roger back, many times, until there was no man left to speak of. He saw it with crystal clarity in his mind's eye. He didn't want to be this person, the kind of man who solved his problems with his fists. Especially now, when Lacey had known enough violence from someone who was supposed to love her. Bro shook his head vehemently. I'm not like Roger. I'm not like that violent f.u.c.ker. I will never be I'm not like Roger. I'm not like that violent f.u.c.ker. I will never be.

So with deep breaths, he fought to clear his head from all the noise and settled into a patient holding pattern yet again. He closed his eyes, hurting all over, on his skin and deep inside his soul. I love you, Lacey. Always will I love you, Lacey. Always will.

His cell beeped to indicate a text. He read Bradley's text from the screen: ETA 5 min ETA 5 min. It had to be enough, Bro thought. Then he could crumble too.

”HOW are you, honey?” are you, honey?”

Audrey hugged Lacey, showing just how much strength lay in that tiny body. Though she felt like she was being crushed, the close contact of her best friend nonetheless felt like a protective circle around her, and Lacey embraced her back.

”I'll be okay.” She glanced at Bro, who sat at the end of the bed with Bradley, their heads down as they spoke in hushed tones, and immediately she felt her knees turn to jelly. Bro's love confession had made mush of her brain and pushed out all the sadness within her heart, replacing the empty s.p.a.ce with a warm, cuddly feeling that made her toes curl and her face break into a smile.

For that Lacey was grateful. It wasn't like she had planned on spilling blood under the shower spray. Yet, she had hit rock bottom within her heart, having lost touch with the last human part of her father, feeling disconnected and inhuman, like a piece of trash, not worthy of being loved and living her life in peace. Was there anything Roger liked about his child? Being feminine and gay were definitely out. What about her music? Each time Lacey lifted the bow and drew out the first soft chords from her violin, the world made sense, and she remembered her mother's smile and all the happy times they had shared.

No. She shook herself inwardly. Lacey would not allow her father to steal these things from her. They gave her life meaning and purpose. As she played, the sad notes of the violin ripped through her soul and yet soothed a healing balm over the many gashes there. Sometimes Lacey felt like she was bleeding a drop every day, wondering if one day she would run out of life essence.

But then Bro always made his presence known, and Lacey couldn't help but feel happy and normal again. He really was her rock to stand on, to rebuild on. Without Bro, Lacey would not have known what to do.

As though he knew Lacey was thinking about him, Bro peered up at her, smiling rea.s.suringly. ”You okay there, Lace?”

”Better now.” Though Lacey was first and foremost talking about the cooling gel Bro had applied over her forming bruise, she also hinted at his declaration of love. That made her face flame up, and in a perfect accompaniment, Bro's cheeks reddened as well. His smile turned into a salacious grin, and Lacey's body responded to the suggestive gesture as if to a real touch.

”What's going on here?” Audrey asked, pursing her lips knowingly with her hands on her hips, mock glaring at both Lacey and Bro.

”Mind your own business, your nosiness,” Bro growled back, never taking his eyes off Lacey.

Suddenly Audrey's face cleared and she got a smitten look on her face. ”Aww....”

”What?” Bradley frowned, his expression confused.

”Nothing,” Bro ground out, his lips thinning, and his chin lifted in that defiant look Lacey knew so well. So he wanted to keep it private between the two of them for now. She was fine with that. The outside world had intruded upon their relations.h.i.+p enough for one day.

Bradley snorted, waving a hand about. ”Okay, whatever. Excuse my intrusive girl over there.” He pointed his finger at Audrey, who huffed, indignant, and shot him a scary glare. Bradley just grinned and made a lewd kissy face. Audrey rolled her eyes. ”Anyway,” Bradley went on, serious again. ”Lace, whatever you need, we're there for you, okay?”

To think that a little over a year ago, Lacey had barely known these people who now called themselves her friends and made her all gooey inside. So her father was a drunken bigot. At least she had her friends to stick with her and by her.

”Thank you, Brad. That means a lot to me.”

Audrey hugged her again and then rested her arm around her shoulders, giving her comfort. ”You mean a lot to us too, Lace. Why didn't you tell us? I'm not trying to make you feel bad; you have to know we're not here to judge you. We only want to help and stand with you.”

”I know.” Lacey bit her lower lip, hanging her head. ”I was... ashamed.”

”What happened was not your fault, and you didn't do anything to deserve it,” Audrey countered, her green eyes flas.h.i.+ng intently. ”Your daddy's a d.i.c.k. And that has nothing to do with you. If it wasn't you he hated, it would be something else. Anything to avoid having to look inside, let alone deal with his own loss of...” Audrey stumbled, swallowing hard and looking bashful. ”Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of-”

”Don't apologize.” Lacey gave her a quick peck on the cheek in a sisterly manner, and Audrey blushed sweetly. ”I don't ever want to forget Mom. And I don't mind talking about her. Dad never talks about her anymore. Not that he talks about anything with me anymore.”

”Okay then.” Audrey straightened up and glanced at the guys. ”Time for you boys to skedaddle so we can have our girl talk. Scram.” She thumbed behind her shoulder to point at the door, and grudging Bro and grinning Bradley got up and left the room. Bro kissed Lacey on the lips before he left, however.

Once the door closed, Audrey smiled at Lacey. ”Let's talk.”

Lacey lay down on her side on Bro's bed, smelling his young male scent in the sheets. Audrey lay next to her, propped up on an elbow, looking at her expectantly.

”Lexie was a great mom,” Lacey said quietly, staring at the ceiling. ”Alexandra Adair. I chose my new name to resemble hers.” Audrey smiled, as she already knew that, but she let Lacey direct the conversation. ”When she was around, Dad was different. He never said anything about me being... well, not like the other boys.”

”Your mom's influence was pretty strong,” Audrey agreed slowly, cautiously. Lacey had a feeling she wanted to say more but held back. Lacey knew her best friend would die rather than hurt her in any way.

”I guess Dad thought it was okay for me to emulate her then, like an idol, as kids do with their parents sometimes.” Lacey shrugged but felt anything but indifferent. ”But when she... died-” Lacey swallowed hard, the pain in her heart fresh and slicing. ”-she took away the reason for me to be this way. At least in Dad's eyes. When Mom was alive, my dresses and makeup faded into the background. When Mom died, who I am jumped into the foreground. Dad couldn't handle it, I guess.”

”Oh, Lacey.” Audrey's sigh was both empathetic and irritated, and Lacey heard them both, frowning a question. ”You always make excuses for him. As if his pain is somehow more important than yours. As if it explains and justifies everything.”

”I never said that,” Lacey defended herself. Still, she knew Audrey had a point. But Roger was her father. His His father. Whatever. Lacey was Roger's child, and he was the only parent she had anymore. She wanted to believe Roger would pull out of his grief-stricken, drunken haze and once again become the father she needed him to be. father. Whatever. Lacey was Roger's child, and he was the only parent she had anymore. She wanted to believe Roger would pull out of his grief-stricken, drunken haze and once again become the father she needed him to be.

Deep down in her soul, in a dark and unhappy place, Lacey was beginning to see that maybe that transformation was beyond Roger's capabilities.

”He's the only dad I have.”

”You're not alone, Lace. You gotta know that.” Audrey's hand rested on hers, and the warmth of the touch held nothing back.

”You're my friends. But you're not my parents. You never could be.” Lacey wished she didn't sound so miserable. It was strange to know know she had friends who could become her new family, and yet she had friends who could become her new family, and yet feel feel like she had no one. She wished her head could rule just this once. like she had no one. She wished her head could rule just this once.

”No, we can't be your parents. But we can be your family.” Audrey's wise, tender gaze left nothing uncertain. She meant what she said, and Lacey's dark world got a little lighter.

Then Audrey's sharp, narrow gaze landed on Lacey's cheekbone, where the bruise was slowly forming. It was already swollen but glistened wet now. ”Does it hurt, sweetie?”

Lacey raised her hand and almost brushed the cool, slick skin. ”Yes and no. It's sort of throbbing, but it's not a sharp pain, you know. Bro applied some ice gel to it.”

Suddenly Audrey smirked. ”Yeah, I bet he did!”

Laughing, Lacey rolled her eyes. ”G.o.d, you have such a one-track mind!”

”Yeah, yeah, I'm a total s.l.u.t.” Audrey snickered. Lacey pursed her lips, disapproving of her self-characterization, as it was untrue. Whatever conflicting messages Audrey sent with her appearance, she loved and was faithful to Bradley. Lacey was pretty sure Audrey chose to look and act the way she did because she was rebelling against other people's expectations of her. Looking flirtatious and alluring was her facade and s.h.i.+eld. Few knew who she really was. Lacey was proud to be among those chosen.

”You know I hate it when you call yourself that,” she scolded her best friend.

Audrey winked. ”Yup. But this way you can stand next to me and appear so innocent the angels themselves will weep to love you.”

Now Lacey really rolled her eyes, making a loud tsk-tsk tsk-tsk sound. ”Oh my G.o.d. I'm just going to pretend you're not even here.” She lay down on her back, staring at the ceiling defiantly. sound. ”Oh my G.o.d. I'm just going to pretend you're not even here.” She lay down on her back, staring at the ceiling defiantly.

Then she felt Audrey's thick hair and warm arm near her as she rested next to Lacey. Her flowery scent a.s.sailed Lacey's nose. ”You can't pretend 'cause you're so sweet. And I can get really loud. And teary-eyed. If you make me cry, then what will all those angels think of you?” It was her turn to make disapproving clucking sounds.

Lacey burst into laughter and felt better. Maybe things would work out after all.