Part 6 (1/2)
'Without doubt,' responded his companion.
'The Queen must have a party,' continued the audacious lover of Juno.
'The Fates and the Furies never can be conciliated. It is evident to me that she must fall unless she unbinds these chains of mine.'
'And grants me full liberty of egress and regress,' exclaimed Sisyphus.
'And me a bottle of the finest golden wine of Lydia,' said Tantalus.
The infernal honeymoon was over. A cloud appeared in the hitherto serene heaven of the royal lovers. Proserpine became unwell. A mysterious languor pervaded her frame; her accustomed hilarity deserted her. She gave up her daily rides; she never quitted the palace, scarcely her chamber. All day long she remained lying on a sofa, and whenever Pluto endeavoured to console her she went into hysterics. His Majesty was quite miserable, and the Fates and the Furies began to hold up their heads. The two court physicians could throw no light upon the complaint, which baffled all their remedies. These, indeed, were not numerous, for the two physicians possessed each only one idea. With one every complaint was nervous; the other traced everything to the liver. The name of the first was Dr. Blue-Devil; and of the other Dr. Blue-Pill.
They were most eminent men.
Her Majesty, getting worse every day, Pluto, in despair, determined to send for aesculapius. It was a long way to send for a physician; but then he was the most fas.h.i.+onable one in the world. He cared not how far he travelled to visit a patient, because he was paid by the mile; and it was calculated that his fee for quitting earth, and attending the Queen of h.e.l.l, would allow him to leave off business.
What a wise physician was aesculapius! Physic was his abhorrence. He never was known, in the whole course of his practice, ever to have prescribed a single drug. He was a handsome man, with a flowing beard curiously perfumed, and a robe of the choicest purple. He twirled a cane of agate, round which was twined a serpent of precious stones, the gift of Juno, and he rode in a chariot drawn by horses of the Sun. When he visited Proserpine, he neither examined her tongue nor felt her pulse, but gave her an account of a fancy ball which he had attended the last evening he pa.s.sed on _terra firma_. His details were so interesting that the Queen soon felt better. The next day he renewed his visit, and gave her an account of a new singer that had appeared at Ephesus. The effect of this recital was so satisfactory, that a bulletin in the evening announced that the Queen was convalescent. The third day aesculapius took his departure, having previously enjoined change of scene for her Majesty, and a visit to the Elysian Fields!
'Heh, heh!' shrieked Tisiphone.
'Hah, hah!' squeaked Megaera.
'Hoh, hoh!' moaned Alecto.
'Now or never,'said the infernal sisters. 'There is a decided reaction.
The moment she embarks, unquestionably we will flare up.' So they ran off to the Fates.
'We must be prudent,' said Clotho.
'Our time is not come,' remarked Lachesis.
'I wish the reaction was more decided,' said Atropos; 'but it is a great thing that they are going to be parted, for the King must remain.'
The opposition party, although aiming at the same result, was therefore evidently divided as to the means by which it was to be obtained. The sanguine Furies were for fighting it out at once, and talked bravely of the strong conservative spirit only dormant in Tartarus. Even the Radicals themselves are dissatisfied: Tantalus is no longer contented with water, or Ixion with repose. But the circ.u.mspect Fates felt that a false step at present could never be regained. They talked, therefore, of watching events. Both divisions, however, agreed that the royal embarkation was to be the signal for renewed intrigues and renovated exertions.
When Proserpine was a.s.sured that she must be parted for a time from Pluto, she was inconsolable. They pa.s.sed the night in sorrowful embraces. She vowed that she could not live a day without him, and that she certainly should die before she reached the first post. The mighty heart of the King of Hades was torn to pieces with contending emotions.
In the agony of his overwhelming pa.s.sion the security of his realm seemed of secondary importance compared with the happiness of his wife.
Fear and hatred of the Parcae and the Eumenides equalled, however, in the breast of Proserpine, her affection for her husband. The consciousness that his absence would be a signal for a revolution, and that the crown of Tartarus might be lost to her expected offspring, animated her with a spirit of heroism. She reconciled herself to the terrible separation, on condition that Pluto wrote to her every day.
'Adieu! my best, my only beloved!' e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the unhappy Queen; 'do not forget me for a moment; and let nothing in the world induce you to speak to any of those horrid people. I know them; I know exactly what they will be at: the moment I am gone they will commence their intrigues for the restoration of the reign of doom and torture. Do not listen to them, my Pluto. Sooner than have recourse to them, seek a.s.sistance from their former victims.'
'Calm yourself, my Proserpine. Antic.i.p.ate no evil. I shall be firm; do not doubt me. I will cling with tenacity to that _juste milieu_ under which we have hitherto so eminently prospered. Neither the Parcae and the Eumenides, nor Ixion and his friends, shall advance a point. I will keep each faction in awe by the bugbear of the other's supremacy. Trust me, I am a profound politician.'
It was determined that the progress of Proserpine to the Elysian Fields should be celebrated with a pomp and magnificence becoming her exalted station. The day of her departure was proclaimed as a high festival in h.e.l.l. Tiresias, absent on a secret mission, had been summoned back by Pluto, and appointed to attend her Majesty during her journey and her visit, for Pluto had the greatest confidence in his discretion. Besides, as her Majesty had not at present the advantage of any female society, it was necessary that she should be amused; and Tiresias, though old, ugly, and blind, was a wit as well as a philosopher, the most distinguished diplomatist of his age, and considered the best company in Hades.
An immense crowd was a.s.sembled round the gates of the palace on the morn of the royal departure. With what anxious curiosity did they watch those huge brazen portals! Every precaution was taken for the accommodation of the public. The streets were lined with troops of extraordinary stature, whose nodding plumes prevented the mult.i.tude from catching a glimpse of anything that pa.s.sed, and who cracked the skulls of the populace with their scimitars if they attempted in the slightest degree to break the line. Moreover, there were seats erected which any one might occupy at a reasonable rate; but the lord steward, who had the disposal of the tickets, purchased them all for himself, and then resold them to his fellow-subjects at an enormous price.
At length the hinges of the gigantic portals gave an ominous creak, and, amid the huzzas of men and the shrieks of women, the procession commenced.
First came the infernal band. It consisted of five hundred performers, mounted on different animals. Never was such a melodious blast. Fifty trumpeters, mounted on zebras of all possible stripes and tints, and working away at huge ramshorns with their cheeks like pumpkins. Then there were ba.s.soons mounted on bears, clarionets on camelopards, oboes on unicorns, and troops of musicians on elephants, playing on real serpents, whose prismatic bodies indulged in the most extraordinary convolutions imaginable, and whose arrowy tongues glittered with superb agitation at the exquisite sounds which they unintentionally delivered.
Animals there were, too, now unknown and forgotten; but I must not forget the fellow who beat the kettledrums, mounted on an enormous mammoth, and the din of whose reverberating blows would have deadened the thunder of Olympus.
This enchanting harmony preceded the regiment of Proserpine's own guards, glowing in adamantine armour and mounted on coal-black steeds.