Part 27 (2/2)

”Hail Eris,” said Hagbard.

”All hail Discordia,” I replied, giving the three-after-two pattern, and completing the pentad. ”Is this something important, or did you just want to show me your latest invention?”

The inside of the saucer was, to be trite, eerie. Everything was non-Euclidean and semitransparent; I kept feeling that I might fall through the floor and hurtle to the ground to smash myself on the sidewalk. Then we started moving and it got worse.

”Don't let the architecture disturb you,” Hagbard said. ”My own adaptation of some of Bucky Fuller's synergetic geometry. It's smaller, and more solid, than it looks. You won't fall out, believe me.”

”Is this contraption behind all the flying saucer reports since 1947?” I asked curiously.

”Not quite,” Hagbard laughed. ”That's basically a hoax. The plan was created in the United States government, one of the few ideas they've had without direct Illuminati inspiration since about the middle of Roosevelt's first term. A reserve measure, in case something happens to Russia and China.”

”Hi, baby,” I said softly to Stella, remembering San Francisco. ”Would you tell me, minus the Celine rhetoric and paradox, what the h.e.l.l he's talking about?”

”The State is based on threat,” Stella said simply. ”If people aren't afraid of something, they'll realize they don't need that big government hand picking their pockets all the time. So, in case Russia and China collapse from internal dissension, or get into a private war and blow each other to h.e.l.l, or suffer some unexpected natural calamity like a series of earthquakes, the saucer myth has been planted. If there are no earthly enemies to frighten the American people with, the saucer myth will immediately change. There will be 'evidence' that they come from Mars and are planning to invade and enslave us. Dig?”

”So,” Hagbard added, ”I built this little gizmo, and I can travel anywhere I want without interference. Any sighting of this craft, whether by a radar operator with twenty years' experience or a little old lady in Perth Amboy, is regarded by the government as a case of autosuggestion-since they know they didn't plant it themselves. I can hover over cities, like New York, or military installations that are Top Secret, or any place I d.a.m.ned well please. Nice?”

”Very nice,” I said. ”But why did you bring me up here?”

”It's time for you to see the fnords,” he replied. Then I woke up in bed and it was the next morning. I made breakfast in a pretty nasty mood, wondering if I'd seen the fnords, whatever the h.e.l.l they were, in the hours he had blacked out, or if I would see them as soon as I went out in the street. I had some pretty gruesome ideas about them, I must admit. Creatures with three eyes and tentacles, survivors from Atlantis, who walked among us, invisible due to some form of mind s.h.i.+eld, and did hideous work for the Illuminati. It was unnerving to contemplate, and I finally gave in to my fears and peeked out the window, thinking it might be better to see them from a distance first.

Nothing. Just ordinary sleepy people, heading for their buses and subways.

That calmed me a little, so I set out the toast and coffee and fetched in the New York Times New York Times from the hallway. I turned the radio to WBAI and caught some good Vivaldi, sat down, grabbed a piece of toast and started skimming the first page. from the hallway. I turned the radio to WBAI and caught some good Vivaldi, sat down, grabbed a piece of toast and started skimming the first page.

Then I saw the fnords.

The feature story involved another of the endless squabbles between Russia and the U.S. in the UN General a.s.sembly, and after each direct quote from the Russian delegate I read a quite distinct ”Fnord!” The second lead was about a debate in Congress on getting the troops out of Costa Rica; every argument presented by Senator Bacon was followed by another ”Fnord!” At the bottom of the page was a Times Times depth-type study of the growing pollution problem and the increasing use of gas masks among New Yorkers; the most distressing chemical facts were interpolated with more ”Fnords.” depth-type study of the growing pollution problem and the increasing use of gas masks among New Yorkers; the most distressing chemical facts were interpolated with more ”Fnords.”

Suddenly I saw Hagbard's eyes burning into me and heard his voice: ”Your heart will remain calm. Your adrenalin gland will remain calm. Calm, all-over calm. You will not panic. You will look at the fnord and see it. You will not evade it or black it out. You will stay calm and face it.” And further back, way back: my first-grade teacher writing FNORD on the blackboard, while a wheel with a spiral design turned and turned on his desk, turned and turned, and his voice droned on, IF YOU DON'T SEE THE FNORD IT CAN'T EAT YOU, DON'T SEE THE FNORD, DON'T SEE THE FNORD ...

I looked back at the paper and still saw the fnords.

This was one step beyond Pavlov, I realized. The first conditioned reflex was to experience the panic reaction (the activation syndrome, it's technically called) whenever encountering the word ”fnord.” The second conditioned reflex was to black out what happened, including the word itself, and just to feel a general low-grade emergency without knowing why. And the third step, of course, was to attribute this anxiety to the news stories, which were bad enough in themselves anyway.

Of course, the essence of control is fear. The fnords produced a whole population walking around in chronic low-grade emergency, tormented by ulcers, dizzy spells, nightmares, heart palpitations and all the other symptoms of too much adrenalin. All my left-wing arrogance and contempt for my countrymen melted, and I felt genuine pity. No wonder the poor b.a.s.t.a.r.ds believe anything they're told, walk through pollution and overcrowding without complaining, watch their sons hauled off to endless wars and butchered, never protest, never fight back, never show much happiness or eroticism or curiosity or normal human emotion, live with perpetual tunnel vision, walk past a slum without seeing either the human misery it contains or the potential threat it poses to their security...Then I got a hunch, and turned quickly to the advertis.e.m.e.nts. It was as I expected: no fnords. That was part of the gimmick, too: only in consumption, endless consumption, could they escape the amorphous threat of the invisible fnords.

I kept thinking about it on my way to the office. If I pointed out a fnord to somebody who hadn't been de-conditioned, as Hagbard deconditioned me, what would he or she say? They'd probably read the word before or after it. ”No this this word,” I'd say. And they would again read an adjacent word. But would their panic level rise as the threat came closer to consciousness? I preferred not to try the experiment; it might have ended with a psychotic fugue in the subject. The conditioning, after all, went back to grade school. No wonder we all hate those teachers so much: we have a dim, masked memory of what they've done to us in converting us into good and faithful servants for the Illuminati. word,” I'd say. And they would again read an adjacent word. But would their panic level rise as the threat came closer to consciousness? I preferred not to try the experiment; it might have ended with a psychotic fugue in the subject. The conditioning, after all, went back to grade school. No wonder we all hate those teachers so much: we have a dim, masked memory of what they've done to us in converting us into good and faithful servants for the Illuminati.

When I arrived at my desk, Peter Jackson handed me a press release. ”What do you make of this?” he asked with a puzzled frown, and I looked at the mimeographed first page. The old eye-and-pyramid design leaped out at me. ”DeMolay Freres invites you to the premiere debut of the world's first plastic nude martini...,” the press release declared. On second glance the eye in the triangle turned into the elliptical rim of a martini gla.s.s, while the pupil in the eye was actually the olive floating in the c.o.c.ktail.

”What the h.e.l.l is a plastic nude martini?” said Peter Jackson. ”And why would they invite us to a press party for one?”

”You can bet that it's nonbiodegradable,” said Joe.

”Which will make it very unfas.h.i.+onable with honky ecology freaks,” said Peter sarcastically.

Joe squinted at the design again. It could be a coincidence. But coincidence was just another word for synchronicity. ”I think I'll go,” he said. ”And what's that?” he added as his eye fell upon a half-unfolded poster on his desk.

”Oh, that came with the latest American Medical a.s.sociation alb.u.m,” said Peter. ”I don't want it, and I thought you might. It's time you took those pictures of the Rolling Stones off your wall. This is the age of constantly accelerating change, and a man who displays old pictures of the Stones is liable to be labeled a reactionary.”

Four owl-eyed faces stared at him. They were dressed in one-piece white suits, and three of them were joining extended hands to form a triangle, while the fourth, Wolfgang Saure, generally acknowledged to be the leader of the group, stood with his arms folded in the center. The picture was taken from above so that the most prominent elements were the four heads, while the outstretched arms clearly made the sides of the triangle, and the bodies seemed unimportant, dwindling away to nothing. The background was jet black. The three young men and the woman, with their smooth-shaven bony faces, their blond crew-cuts and their icy blue eyes seemed extremely sinister to Joe. If the n.a.z.is had won the war and Heinrich Himmler had followed Hitler as ruler of the German Empire, kids like this would be running the world. And they almost were, in a different sense, because they had succeeded the Beatles and Stones as kings of music, which made them emperors among youth. Although long hair remained the general fas.h.i.+on, the kids had accepted the American Medical a.s.sociation's antiseptic-clean appearance as a needed reaction against a style that had become too commonplace.

As Wolfgang himself had said, ”If you need an outward sign to know your own, you don't really belong.”

”They give me the creeps,” said Joe.

”What did you think when the Beatles first came out?” said Peter.

Joe shrugged. ”They gave me the creeps. They looked ugly and s.e.xless and like teenage werewolves with all that hair. And they seemed to be able to mesmerize twelve-year-old girls.”

Peter nodded. ”The bulk of the AMA's fans are even younger. So you might as well start conditioning yourself to them now. They're going to be around for a long time.”

”Peter, let's you and me have lunch,” Joe said. ”Then I'm going to get some work done, and then I'm going to leave here at four to go to this plastic martini party. First of all, though, hold the chair for me while I take down the Stones and put up the American Medical a.s.sociation.”

The DeMolay Freres group wasn't kidding, he found. There were martinis, olives and all (or c.o.c.ktail onions for those who preferred them) in transparent plastic bags that were shaped like nude women. Pretty terrible taste the manufacturer had, thought Joe. Briefly, Joe wondered if it would be a good idea to infiltrate this company so as to get dosages of AUM in all the plastic nude martinis. But then he remembered the emblem and thought maybe this company was already infiltrated. But by which side?

There was a beautiful Oriental girl in the room. She had black hair that reached all the way down to the small of her back, and when she raised her arms to adjust a head ornament, Joe was surprised to see thick black hair in her armpits. Orientals did not normally have much body hair, he thought. Could she be some relation to the hairy Ainu of northern j.a.pan? It intrigued him, turned him on as he'd never thought armpit hair would, and he went over to her to talk. The first thing he noticed was that the headband she wore had a golden apple with the letter K printed on it right in the center of her forehead. She is one of Us, he thought. His hunch about coming to this party was right.

”These martini bags sure have a silly shape,” said Joe.

”Why? Don't you care for nude women?”

”Well, this has about as much to do with nude women as any other piece of plastic,” said Joe. ”No, my point is that it's in such execrable taste. But, then, all of American industry is nothing but a giant obscene circus to me. What's your name?”

The black eyes fixed his intently. ”Mao Tsu-hsi.”

”Any relation?”

”No. My name means 'cat' in Chinese. His doesn't. His name is Mao Mao but mine is but mine is Mao” Mao” Joe was enchanted by her enunciation of the two different tones. Joe was enchanted by her enunciation of the two different tones.

”Well, Miss Cat, You are the most attractive woman I've met in ages.”

She responded with a silent flirtation of her own and they were soon in a wonderfully interesting conversation-which he could never remember afterwards. Nor did he notice the pinch of powder she dropped into his drink. He began feeling strangely groggy. Tsu-hsi took his arm and led him to the checkroom. They got their coats, left the building and hailed a cab. In the back seat they kissed for a long time. She opened her coat and he pulled the zipper that went all the way down the front of her dress. He felt her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and stroked her belly, then dropped his head into her bush. She was wearing no underwear. She draped her legs over his, using her coat to screen what was going on from the cab driver, and helped him expose his erect p.e.n.i.s. With a few quick, agile movements she had swept her skirt out of the way, raised her little seat into the air and slid her well-lubricated c.u.n.t down over his c.o.c.k and was f.u.c.king him sidesaddle. It could have been difficult and awkward, but she was so light and well coordinated that she managed to bring herself to o.r.g.a.s.m easily and voluptuously. She drew in her breath sharply through her teeth and a shudder ran through her body. She rested her head momentarily on his shoulder, then raised herself slightly and helped Joe to a pleasant climax with a rotary motion of her a.s.s.

The experience, Joe realized, would have been more exquisite a few months, or a few years, earlier. Now, with his growing sensitivity, he was conscious of what had been missing: the actual energetic contact. The effect of the JAMs and the Discordians on him, he reflected, had been paradoxical by ordinary standards. He was no more puritanical than before they started tinkering with his nervous system (he was less), but at the same time casual s.e.x was less appealing to him. He remembered Atlanta Hope's diatribes against ”s.e.xism” in her book Telemachus Sneezed Telemachus Sneezed-the Bible of the G.o.d's Lightning Movement-and he suddenly saw some weird kind of sense in her rantings. ”The s.e.xual Revolution in America was as much of a fraud as the Political Revolutions in China and Russia,” Atlanta had written with her usual exuberant capitalization; she was, in a way, quite right. People today were still wrapped in a cellophane of false ego, and even if they f.u.c.ked and had o.r.g.a.s.ms together the cellophane was still there and no real contact had been made.

And yet if Mao was what he suspected she would know this even better than he did. Was this quick, cool spasm some kind of test or some lesson or demonstration? If so, how was he supposed to respond?

And then he remembered that she had not given an address to the driver. The cab had been waiting only for them to take them to a predetermined place, for reasons unknown.

I've seen the fnords, he thought; now I'm going to see more now I'm going to see more.

The cab stopped on a narrow, heavily shadowed street that seemed to be all empty stores, factory buildings, loading docks and warehouses.

With Miss Mao leading, they entered an old dilapidated-looking loft building with the aid of a key she had in her handbag, climbed some clanging cast-iron stairs, walked hand in hand down a long dark corridor and came at last through a series of anterooms, each better appointed than the last, to a splendid boardroom. Joe shook his head, amazed at what he saw, but there was something-he suspected a drug- that was keeping him docile and pa.s.sive.

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