Part 8 (1/2)

”You can thank me by closing your eyes and trying to get some sleep.” He drew her close, wrapping one arm around her bare back while with the other he drew a throw over her naked body.

She could have argued, but she was too tired, both emotionally and physically. And it felt too right to lie beside him. Except for one thing. He had way too many clothes on.

She closed her eyes and embraced him.

Diana snuggled into Ryder's side, but the only warmth there was that of her own body. It was still one of the things she was getting used to even after months of being his lover. But his earlier disappearing act that night...” How did you do it?” Now in the quiet aftermath of their lovemaking, she hoped he'd provide an answer. Instead, all she got was the slight tightening of his body next to hers.

”I don't know. Although I'm certain that isn't what you want to hear.”

Diana cradled her head with the arm she propped on the bed. She gazed down at her lover. Her vampire lover. Raising her free hand, she laid it over the center of his chest, directly above his heart. There was a beat there. A steady beat that grew intense with their loving. A gentle and tender heart, she knew, for he loved her and cared deeply for Melissa.

But he didn't care for himself. It was the reason he knew so little about himself and others like him. ”It's unfair of you to not find out, Ryder,” she said. ”To yourself and to Melissa.”

His tension grew. It was evident in the increasing stiffness of his body beneath her hand. She wasn't surprised when he pulled away from her and slipped from the bed.

She watched as he dressed. ”Where are you going?”

”To find vampire friends. That isn't going to happen during the daytime. Isn't that what you want? What you think Melissa needs?

So she'll be free-”

Diana jumped out of bed. She knew his anger wasn't just about Melissa. ”Ryder, I am free. And I've already made my choice, mi amor.” She raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him.

He was unyielding against her, so she deepened the pressure of her kiss and wrapped her arms around him. Slowly his tension ebbed and when it did, he said against her lips, ”I wish I knew more. About myself and others. I know there are others.”

It was impossible to miss the heartfelt wish in the tone of his voice. ”In time, Ryder, you need to find out more. For yourself and for Melissa.”

Ryder brought his arms beneath her legs and picked her up, taking her back to bed. Laying her on the dark maroon-colored sheets, he paused to admire her physical beauty, only a small part of what made him love her. ”And what about for you, darlin'?

Shouldn't I know it for you?”

Her smile was knowing and determined. ”You know all you need to know for me, Ryder.”

”And that is?” he asked as he pressed her down into the mattress.

”That I love you.”

He cared for her, Sebastian thought as he held Melissa and observed her sleeping. Of course, his emotions were all wrapped up in the protectiveness he felt toward her and his fear for her safety.

Funny, he'd never thought of himself as a protector kind of guy. But that was what he was feeling. Not good. What if he couldn't handle the danger?

He would never be able to forgive himself if he failed her.

Better to get out now, Sebastian told himself. Before he lost his heart to her. Before her feelings for him became more than physical. He knew Melissa had suffered too much rejection in her life and he didn't want to be the cause of more.

Armed with that knowledge, he slowly moved from her side, which wasn't easy since one arm had fallen asleep beneath the slight weight of her body. She barely moved, but the throw s.h.i.+fted, revealing one breast, the nipple relaxed without his caresses. Full and soft, just waiting for him to...

He groaned and with a shaky hand pulled the throw over her shoulders. He would finish this night's job and leave.

Before it was too late.

Which it might be already, he realized as with every set of pages scanned he found himself looking her way and wis.h.i.+ng things could be different. That he could be the kind of man she needed.

And not what he was.

The slight s.h.i.+ft of his weight and the sudden chill the absence of his body brought alerted her to the fact he was leaving. She wanted to protest, but knew it was better this way. She was still too confused about all that had gone on.

As she watched him through barely opened eyes, she saw his bewilderment. Saw his longing, which tugged at her heart.

Only Melissa knew his longing was ephemeral. When all was done, his emotions might be no more than a pa.s.sing fancy brought about by the weird circ.u.mstances into which they'd both been thrown. Like the last time. When Sebastian was faced with the reality that her daily existence revolved around Ryder-as it had to, she reminded herself-Sebastian would be gone.

He'd already warned her that he wasn't cut out to be a hero.

She'd already had a taste of what it was to be with him then have him leave. Their one night together had left her wondering and wis.h.i.+ng for things that couldn't be. Tonight had her wanting even more, and she knew it would be more difficult to deal with his exiting her life once again.

And he would go. She didn't have whatever it took for long-term emotional involvements.

Her parents had taught her that.

So she pretended to be asleep until he was done with his work. When he came to her side to let her know he was done, she pretended that he had just woken her.

”I have to go.”

She sat up, the throw tucked tight against her chest to hide her nakedness. ”I know,” she replied, awkwardly taking the journals he handed her in one hand while clutching the blanket with the other.

There was an uncomfortable moment when he seemed about to bend down to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead, he stood before her, ill at ease, and then gave her a curt nod. ”See you tomorrow?”

”Sure,” she answered readily. Too readily.

He seemed to recognize it for the lie it was. He gave her a tight smile and quickly left the room.

Melissa hugged the journals to her, telling herself that they were what was important in her life right now. Something in them might hold information about her parents' murders. Might even help her find a way to deal with Ryder's condition.

But the vague possibilities of those thoughts lacked the appeal of the very solid warmth of Sebastian's reality.

Chapter 12.

T he inoculation of a new rat with the unusual cell strain from the remaining Danvers rat had been a bust. Within an hour of being infected, the rat had developed high fevers that could not be controlled. Convulsions had followed and barely three hours had gone by when the new subject died from uncontrolled hemorrhaging.

Confusing, given the apparent healing properties and seeming longevity the cell strain had bestowed on the earlier subjects. Taken directly, the strain was virulent and deadly, which might prove useful in other applications.

But not now.