Part 3 (1/2)
”You'll make us laugh,” said the man in a familiar way. The other Bushmen craned their necks. They were interested. They knew that Grouse had gone over the score, and they waited to see the stuff that the sergeant-major was made of. It was, in fact, the psychological moment which makes or mars the reputation of a sergeant-major in such a corps. The sergeant-major knew it.
”Look here, young man, I make great allowance for inexperience, for none of you have been soldiers before, but I make no allowance for insolence. Take off your coat.”
”What!”
”Take off your coat,” said the sergeant-major with emphasis, at the same time throwing off his own. The man followed suit.
”Now step out here, and we'll decide who's going to run this show.”
Then the unexpected happened. The man shoved out his hand. ”Shake, sir; you're a good fellow. I'm afeard of no man, but I won't fight you, for I'm in the wrong.”
”Well, you're a man, anyway,” said Jones, shaking him cordially by the hand, while the whole squad gave out a thrilling cheer.
Colonel Sam Killem had watched it all from the corner of the parade ground. For him it was an anxious moment. He was a broad-minded Australian who realised the need of experienced Britishers like Jones for the training of his men. But he was also aware of the national prejudice against the imported man. If Jones had adopted the usual way in the British regiment, that is, clapping the offender in the guard room and formally charging him with ”insubordination in the ranks,” Sam knew that his prestige as a sergeant-major would have dropped fifty per cent. However, he was well pleased to see him handle the man in the Australian manner.
”Made good that time, Jones,” said the colonel with a dry grin as the sergeant-major came forward.
”That's the only way with these men, sir.”
”Glad you know it. By the way, I know that man. He half killed one of the Mounted Police two years ago. He's three-quarters blackguard and one-quarter of a good fellow; but we'll make a man of him. Put him in orders to-night for the lance stripe. I always believe in making N.C.O.'s out of these rascals.”
”Splendid idea, sir,” said the sergeant-major, saluting and falling out.
Next day Lance-Corporal Grouse commenced a new career--that of a gallant soldier and an Australian gentleman.
Another interesting incident occurred during the training. Side by side with the Kangaroo Marines lay the Melbourne Nuts, a battalion of superior persons. You see, the Kangaroo Marines were nominally a Sydney crowd. Therefore the Melbourne boys showered on them all the envy which Melbourne has for Sydney. To understand this point thoroughly you must have lived in Australia. Between Melbourne and Sydney there exists a feud as fierce as an Italian vendetta. This animosity crystallises the more general hatred of the respective States--Victoria and New South Wales. Both sides think they are the Lord's Anointed. A Governor-General in any speech must be careful to whitewash both States with the same degree of eyewash. Friends.h.i.+ps, fortunes, and reputations have been lost in this really amusing controversy. Indeed, they are like the farmers of Kerry--they go to law if a hen roosts for a second in the enemy's barnyard.
Picture the scene then--two corps side by side, and imagine the language. The first trouble arose through a pioneer of the Kangaroos dropping a shovelful of dirt in the lines of the Melbourne men. The offender was Bill Buster.
”Get out of this, ye Sydney rattlesnake,” chirped a youth, looking out of his tent.
”Worm!” exclaimed Bill contemptuously.
”Ye dirty-necked beachcomber, I'll split yer pumpkin head.”
”Take that,” shouted Bill, throwing a shovelful of manure into the tent of his aggressor. Honour, of course, had to be satisfied after that.
The Melbourne man got a broken nose, and Bill had two lovely black eyes.
Both regiments decided to have revenge, and, for that purpose, secret meetings were called. The Melbourne boys decided to leave their affairs in the hands of Happy Harry, a local comedian. He was given liberty to spend anything up to twenty pounds on a scheme of revenge.
In the case of the Kangaroos it was decided by ballot that Bill would plan out something to stagger the Melbourne crowd. Meantime, armed neutrality reigned; yet the air seemed charged with the spirit of friction and the feeling of secret preparation. Remarkable to relate, both schemes panned out on the morning of the same day. The Melbourne Nuts woke up to see, in great, black, varnished letters, across their huge dining-tent, the following:
MELBOURNE IS A ONE-EYED TOWN FULL OF SNIVELLING Sn.o.bS, p.a.w.nSHOPS, AND GROG SALOONS.
This was a good stroke for the Sydney men, but the Melbourne men had, also, a neat revenge. That morning, an old broken-down donkey was found wandering in the Kangaroos' lines, with placards flapping at his sides, on which the Sydney men saw:
THIS IS THE FATHER OF SYDNEY AND THE KANGAROO MARINES.
The battle of wits was a drawn affair. But, that night, more trouble ensued. While the famous quartette were casually strolling through the town a Melbourne man jostled Sandy.