Chapter 8 (2/2)
”I can't lose you.”
Li Yuanyu said that one day.
He really wanted to laugh, wanted to ridicule Li Yuanyu's silly words. The man had lost him long ago, but his body was so weak that he could not retort nor scorn those words.
Li Yuanyu carried him to the bathtub in the villa, putting him down gently. The tub of water warmed his body.
Li Yuanyu started telling him stories about the past when they were in love, but he was in no mood to listen and closed his eyes. Then Li Yuanyu suddenly fell silent. Tang Shan's eyes flickered open and stared up at him blankly.
The man spoke after quite some time, ”Tang Shan, I love you.”
Li Yuanyu cried. He cried his heart out.
Tang Shan was equally miserable. He still loved Li Yuanyu, but it was impossible to accept him anymore.
Li Yuanyu reached out and rested his hand on Tang Shan's shoulders. In the past, that was a precursor to kissing, but it was completely different this time, different from anything he had experienced – Li Yuanyu pressed him firmly into the water.
The pressure on his shoulder, Li Yuanyu's anguish...
He now understood the situation. Li Yuanyu was trying to kill him; he couldn’t stand him anymore.
However, Tang Shan did not die, and the next time he woke up, all he remembered was that Marie had left town and they had moved to the smaller house. They were living in the house, and yet he woke up on the large bed in the villa. How had they gotten there? He had no recollection.
Li Yuanyu had prepared a large pot of Borscht for no reason, and Tang Shan felt increasingly confused as he sat at the table with a smirk, ”Did you do something bad?”
Li Yuanyu smiled but did not answer.
That was the first time he lost his memory.
Jake would come over occasionally, sometimes staring at him with a complicated expression. He always found it strange and questioned Jake about it, but Jake was unwilling to give an honest answer.
There was once he'd let something slip though.
”Your existence is constantly destroying my image of Li Yuanyu.”
Tang Shan thought his words were referring to their overly affectionate relations.h.i.+p and grinned obliviously, ”He is quite clingy.”
The illusion of a perfect, peaceful life continued for a period of time, until Tang Shan regained his memories of everything that had happened. At that point, his terror and anger towards Li Yuanyu was enough to swallow him whole.
Tang Shan's att.i.tude towards Li Yuanyu was driving the man crazy, and he gradually became hysterical and easily irritable.
He disposed of Tang Shan's locket, had someone paint a portrait of Tang Shan and him even though he was unwilling to, and treated him like a s.e.x slave, constantly tormenting him no matter how much he resisted and begged.
”I love you, Tang Shan.”
Tang Shan would not accept it no matter how much Li Yuanyu told him he loved him. Li Yuanyu had gone insane and no longer was the person he had fallen in love with.
On the nights that Li Yuanyu did not rape him, the man would read out loud the novel that he enjoyed the most. It was the book that Tang Shan had once ridiculed before for being an overly mushy romance novel.
The long journey wore him out, but he refused to give up. She was his final destination.
Li Yuanyu read the last sentence, letting the words hang in silence. He flashed a gentle smile at Tang Shan. ”I won't give up either, Tang Shan.”
What an idiot. Tang Shan choked out a scoff, but he was definitely aware of how serious Li Yuanyu was.
At this point, the novel that Li Yuanyu loved the most was no different than a horror story to him.
Whenever Li Yuanyu couldn't be around to take care of him, he'd get Jake to help. He was like a prisoner, having the freedom to move around the town but unable to really leave.
”If you could be a little better to him, even just a little tiny bit, it'd be better for both of you.” Jake nagged at him tirelessly. It had been raining non-stop all this while, and a lot of areas were beginning to flood. He couldn't bear to watch on anymore.
”I can't do it.”
”Why can't you just accept it? Doesn't he treat you well enough?” Having his suggestion rejected, Jake became agitated at Tang Shan for not knowing better.
”How am I supposed to accept you killing people?! In my eyes, you're all murderers!” Tang Shan retorted with a vicious accusation.
Jake was stunned at his words, and by the time he came back to himself, he was already fighting with Tang Shan. In his fury, he lost control of himself and beat Tang Shan till the latter fainted. Only then did he realise what he'd done.
The next time Tang Shan awoke, Jake was no longer by his side. In his place was Li Yuanyu's concerned expression. For a long time after that, he did not see any signs of Jake.
”Where's Jake?” He couldn't control his curiosity and asked.
Li Yuanyu stayed silent.
”Did you kill him too?” At the mere thought of that, Tang Shan began to tremble, the terror surging through his body.
”Do you really think I'm someone capable of that?”
Li Yuanyu's question and his tone of dissatisfaction were all making Tang Shan nervous.
”Tang Shan, don't be afraid. I love you.”
”I don't want this-”
Tang Shan knew he was a coward. In his current state, even Li Yuanyu's gentle smile multiplied his fears.
”I’m begging you. Let me go.”
He pleaded repeatedly.
Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
Jake wasn't dead. Li Yuanyu had merely taught him a lesson after he injured Tang Shan and was currently recuperating at home. By the next time Jake saw him, he'd lost his memory again.
”Gosh, Jake, you got beat up pretty badly. Did you meet some thug?” Tang Shan was shocked at the bandages all over Jake's body and poked fun at his injuries.
They were friends again.
Tang Shan lost even more memories this time, and he had absolutely no memories of where Marie had gone, or even his lost locket. He had no recollection of how he even came to this town. His memories were all over the place, and he had trouble linking them together.
Jake discovered that every time Tang Shan lost his memories, he'd forget even more things. He had no idea if Li Yuanyu was aware of that, or if that was his intention.
Li Yuanyu was so, so deeply in love with Tang Shan. Even a fool could see that.
During this period of time when Tang Shan suffered amnesia, Li Yuanyu stayed by his side like a thoughtful lover. He was willing to spend an entire day accompanying his lover.
However, as Tang Shan regained his memories time after time, his resistance intensified day by day. In answer, Li Yuanyu gradually became cold and numb to his antics.
He didn't find it tiresome as he constantly wiped Tang Shan's memories to achieve his goals. No matter what, Li Yuanyu was unwilling to let Tang Shan go, much less let him leave. Not even death was permitted.
Li Yuanyu was a pitiful man, and Tang Shan was cruel.
Just the other day, Jake went to visit them. Usually, he wouldn't drop in if there wasn't anything important, but there was an incident within the town that required the manager's appearance. Coincidentally, the weather was good – only clouds, no rain.
Tang Shan was maintaining his garden outside the hut. The potatoes seemed to have turned bad, probably due to the roots rotting in the overly damp soil. He took notice of Jake and waved at him. ”Hey, Jake! You're just in time. Are you free now? Can you pull some weeds for me?”
”I'm only here because there's some trouble in town.” Jake looked at the messy, overturned soil. ”What are you doing?”
”These potatoes have to be dug up and replanted.”
What the h.e.l.l?
”Where's Li Yuanyu? What's he doing?” Jake questioned. Wasn't there one more person in the house?
Tang Shan tilted his head, a little confused.
”What's wrong?” Jake began to get a little fl.u.s.tered at the attention from Tang Shan and scratched his head while he looked away.
”You called Yuanyu by his full name. It feels a little strange to me. Don't you usually call him Mr Li?” Tang Shan didn’t mean anything and laughed as he turned back and continued taking care of his vegetable garden.
Jake glared at his back, unable to speak for a long while.
You were the one who ruined Li Yuanyu's position in my heart! He roared soundlessly within.
”Yuanyu is preparing dinner inside. He should be in the kitchen if you're looking for him.” While working, Tang Shan guided him without even raising his head, patting the ground and digging up an entire potato plant.
”...Thanks.” Jake thanked him uncomfortably and entered the house through the unlocked door. The moment he entered, he could smell the rich aroma that came from brewing soup.
”Tang Shan, come here and taste this for me.” Li Yuanyu heard the sound of the door opening and shouted in that direction.
Jake entered the kitchen and saw Li Yuanyu, who was busy working in the kitchen. ”It's me.”
”Oh, it's you.” Li Yuanyu wasn't all that disappointed either, scooping up a bit of soup and pa.s.sing it to him. ”Try it.”
Jake took it and reported matters while drinking the soup.
Upon hearing all this, Li Yuanyu turned off the gas, put on his suit and prepared to head out.
”Where are you going?” Tang Shan, who was outside, was full of questions while he saw them come out.
Li Yuanyu came to Tang Shan's side, bent and kissed his face and explained, unwillingly to leave, ”There are still some things I need to deal with, so I'm not coming back to eat. I've already prepared dinner, so you can just heat it up later.”
”Jake will keep you company.”
Jake stood by the door, staring coldly at their intimate actions.
”I don't need anyone to keep me company,” Tang Shan glared as if he was being looked down upon.
”But I'll worry. There's a storm coming, so finish up here and head back to your room as soon as you can. The vegetable garden can wait for another day. Let Jake help you,” Li Yuanyu kissed him again, and then got onto the horse carriage that Jake called for and left the wooden hut.
Seeing the horse carriage about to disappear into the distance, Jake leant against the frame of the door, exclaiming unhappily, ”I am not helping you.”
”I thought so too. I never expected you to,” Tang Shan continued to work. He had already dug out quite a number of potato 'corpses'.
”You're pretty smart, huh.”
”Thank you, I've always been.” Tang Shan laughed, hands not resting.
Jake periodically bantered with Tang Shan, standing on the same spot and refusing to help out.
Tang Shan spoke, ”Do you want to go in first and help me prepare dinner? Just standing there and bickering with me must be pretty boring, isn't it?”
”You want a guest to help prepare dinner?”
”Why not? Technically speaking, we're both Li Yuanyu's guests.”
”Haha, how are you a guest? You're the 'mistress' of Li Yuanyu's home.” After saying this, Jake began to guffaw.
”Hey! That's not funny at all!”
All of a sudden, a few lightning bolts streaked across the horizon interjected by the claps of thunder every few seconds. The ear splitting, terrifying noises struck fear in his heart.
Tang Shan stood up, gazing at the place where the lightning struck.
”Tang Shan, get into the house!” Jake urged him.
In the next moment, fire burst out in the distance. An explosion occurred at the center of the town.
Staring hard at the thick smoke produced by the explosion, Tang Shan did not even blink as he asked, ”Jake, where did you say there was an issue at? Where did Li Yuanyu go?”
”What do you want? Don't tell me you want to go there. I'm not going to watch you go to your own death in front of my eyes.” Jake stepped forward and held onto Tang Shan, just in case he really ran out there.
Tang Shan suddenly looked a little vacant, ”Jake, I remember.”
”Wha- What do you remember?” Jake was stunned, uneasiness apparent in his gaze.
”There was also a huge explosion like this that day. You- You burnt the man who was sweet on. Marie – What happened to Marie? What right does Li Yuanyu have to pa.s.s judgment on anyone? What did Li Yuanyu do to me? Why is he treating me this way?”
Tang Shan stared wide-eyed at Jake, terrified and disbelieving.
Jake really wished he could evade the line of questioning, because he was one of the main actors who had a role in the tragedy that was Tang Shan's life. He found out the truth, then lost his memories time and time and again. The same play was reenacted over and over, continuously increasing Tang Shan's sense of hopelessness.
Faced with this, Jake chose to close his eyes.
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