Part 5 (1/2)

Mr. Pyecroft leaned forward and dealt the Marine a large pattern Navy kick. ”'Ere, Gla.s.s! You was sentry when 'Op went to the old man--the first time, with Antonio's was.h.i.+n'-book. Tell us what transpired. You're sober.

You don't know how sober you are!”

The Marine cautiously raised his head a few inches. As Mr. Pyecroft said, he was sober--after some R.M.L.I. fas.h.i.+on of his own devising. ”'Op bounds in like a startled anteloper, carryin' 'is signal-slate at the ready. The old man was settin' down to 'is bountiful platter--not like you an' me, without anythin' more in sight for an 'ole night an' 'arf a day. Talkin'

about food--”

”No! No! No!” cried Pyecroft, kicking again. ”What about 'Op?” I thought the Marine's ribs would have snapped, but he merely hiccuped.

”Oh, 'im! 'E 'ad it written all down on 'is little slate--I think--an' 'e shoves it under the old man's nose. 'Shut the door,' says 'Op. 'For 'Eavin's sake shut the cabin door!' Then the old man must ha' said somethin' 'bout irons. 'I'll put 'em on, Sir, in your very presence,' says 'Op, 'only 'ear my prayer,' or--words to that 'fect.... It was jus' the same with me when I called our Sergeant a bladder-bellied, lard-'eaded, perspirin' pension-cheater. They on'y put on the charge-sheet 'words to that effect,' Spoiled the 'ole 'fect.”

”'Op! 'Op! 'Op! What about 'Op?” thundered Pyecroft.

”'Op? Oh, shame thing. Words t' that 'fect. Door shut. Nus.h.i.+n' more transphired till 'Op comes out--nose exshtreme angle plungin' fire or--or words 'that effect. Proud's parrot. 'Oh, you prou' old parrot,' I says.”

Mr. Gla.s.s seemed to slumber again.

”Lord! How a little moisture disintegrates, don't it? When we had s.h.i.+p's theatricals off Vigo, Gla.s.s 'ere played d.i.c.k Deadeye to the moral, though of course the lower deck wasn't pleased to see a leatherneck interpretin'

a strictly maritime part, as you might say. It's only his repartees, which 'e can't contain, that conquers him. Shall I resume my narrative?”

Another drink was brought on this hint, and Mr. Pyecroft resumed.

”The essence o' strategy bein' forethought, the essence o' tattics is surprise. Per'aps you didn't know that? My forethought 'avin' secured the initial advantage in attack, it remained for the old man to ladle out the surprise-packets. 'Eavens! What surprises! That night he dines with the wardroom, bein' of the kind--I've told you as we were a 'appy s.h.i.+p?--that likes it, and the wardroom liked it too. This ain't common in the service.

They had up the new Madeira--awful undisciplined stuff which gives you a cordite mouth next morning. They told the mess-men to navigate towards the extreme an' remote 'orizon, an' they abrogated the sentry about fifteen paces out of earshot. Then they had in the Gunner, the Bo'sun, an' the Carpenter, an' stood them large round drinks. It all come out later-- wardroom joints bein' lower-deck hash, as the sayin' is--that our Number One stuck to it that 'e couldn't trust the s.h.i.+p for the job. The old man swore 'e could, 'avin' commanded 'er over two years. He was right. There wasn't a s.h.i.+p, I don't care in what fleet, could come near the _Archimandrites_ when we give our mind to a thing. We held the cruiser big-gun records, the sailing-cutter (fancy-rig) champions.h.i.+p, an' the challenge-cup row round the fleet. We 'ad the best n.i.g.g.e.r-minstrels, the best football an' cricket teams, an' the best squee-jee band of anything that ever pushed in front of a brace o' screws. An' _yet_ our Number One mistrusted us! 'E said we'd be a floatin' h.e.l.l in a week, an' it 'ud take the rest o' the commission to stop our way. They was arguin' it in the wardroom when the bridge reports a light three points off the port bow. We overtakes her, switches on our search-light, an' she discloses herself as a collier o' no mean reputation, makin' about seven knots on 'er lawful occasions--to the Cape most like.

”Then the owner--so we 'eard in good time--broke the boom, springin' all mines together at close interval.

”'Look 'ere, my jokers,' 'e says (I'm givin' the grist of 'is arguments, remember), 'Number One says we can't enlighten this cutter-cuddlin Gaulish lootenant on the manners an' customs o' the Navy without makin' the s.h.i.+p a market-garden. There's a lot in that,' 'e says, 'specially if we kept it up lavish, till we reached Ascension. But,' 'e says, 'the appearance o'

this strange sail has put a totally new aspect on the game. We can run to just one day's amus.e.m.e.nt for our friend, or else what's the good o'

discipline? An' then we can turn 'im over to our presumably short-'anded fellow-subject in the small-coal line out yonder. He'll be pleased,' says the old man, 'an' so will Antonio. M'rover,' he says to Number One, 'I'll lay you a dozen o' liquorice an' ink'--it must ha' been that new tawny port--'that I've got a s.h.i.+p I can trust--for one day,' 'e says.

'Wherefore,' he says, 'will you have the extreme goodness to reduce speed as requisite for keepin' a proper distance behind this providential tramp till further orders?' Now, that's what I call tattics.

”The other manoeuvres developed next day, strictly in accordance with the plans as laid down in the wardroom, where they sat long an' steady. 'Op whispers to me that Antonio was a Number One spy when 'e was in commission, and a French lootenant when 'e was paid off, so I navigated at three 'undred and ninety six revolutions to the galley, never 'avin'

kicked a lootenant up to date. I may as well say that I did not manoeuvre against 'im as a Frenchman, because I like Frenchmen, but stric'ly on 'is rank an' ratin' in 'is own navy. I inquired after 'is health from Retallick.

”'Don't ask me,' 'e says, sneerin' be'ind his silver spectacles. ''E's promoted to be captain's second supernumerary servant, to be dressed and addressed as such. If 'e does 'is dooties same as he skinned the spuds, _I_ ain't for changin' with the old man.'

”In the balmy dawnin' it was given out, all among the 'olystones, by our sub-lootenant, who was a three-way-discharge devil, that all orders after eight bells was to be executed in inverse ration to the cube o' the velocity. 'The reg'lar routine,' he says, 'was arrogated for reasons o'

state an' policy, an' any flat-foot who presumed to exhibit surprise, annoyance, or amus.e.m.e.nt, would be slightly but firmly reproached.' Then the Gunner mops up a heathenish large detail for some hanky-panky in the magazines, an' led 'em off along with our Gunnery Jack, which is to say, our Gunnery Lootenant.

”That put us on the _viva voce_--particularly when we understood how the owner was navigatin' abroad in his sword-belt trustin' us like brothers.

We s.h.i.+fts into the dress o' the day, an' we musters _an'_ we prays _ong reggle_, an' we carries on antic.i.p.atory to bafflin' Antonio.

”Then our Sergeant of Marines come to me wringin' his 'ands an' weepin'.

'E'd been talkin' to the sub-lootenant, an' it looked like as if his upper-works were collapsin'.

”'I want a guarantee,' 'e says, wringin' 'is 'ands like this. '_I_ 'aven't 'ad sunstroke slave-dhowin' in Tajurrah Bay, an' been compelled to live on quinine an' chlorodyne ever since. _I_ don't get the horrors off gla.s.ses o' brown sherry.'

”'What 'ave you got now?' I says.

”'_I_ ain't an officer,' 'e says. '_My_ sword won't be handed back to me at the end o' the court-martial on account o' my little weaknesses, an' no stain on my character. I'm only a pore beggar of a Red Marine with eighteen years' service, an' why for,' says he, wringin' 'is hands like this all the time, 'must I chuck away my pension, sub-lootenant or no sub-lootenant? Look at 'em,' he says, 'only look at 'em. Marines fallin'

in for small-arm drill!'