Part 29 (2/2)
”I have a right to know, Vivian. You have made a man of me. I love you with my whole heart. What have I done--that I have not told you?”
Then she recalled his contrite confessions; and contrasted what he had told her with what he had not; with the unspeakable fate to which he would have consigned her--and those to come; and a sort of holy rage rose within her.
”You never told me of the state of your health, Morton.”
It was done. She looked to see him fall at her feet in utter abashment, but he did nothing of the kind. What he did do astonished her beyond measure. He rose to his feet, with clenched fists.
”Has that d.a.m.ned doctor been giving me away?” he demanded. ”Because if he has I'll kill him!”
”He has not,” said Vivian. ”Not by the faintest hint, ever. And is _that_ all you think of?--
”Good-bye.”
She rose to leave him, sick at heart.
Then he seemed to realize that she was going; that she meant it.
”Surely, surely!” he cried, ”you won't throw me over now! Oh, Vivian!
I told you I had been wild--that I wasn't fit to touch your little slippers! And I wasn't going to ask you to marry me till I felt sure this was all done with. All the rest of my life was yours, darling--is yours. You have made me over--surely you won't leave me now!”
”I must,” she said.
He looked at her despairingly. If he lost her he lost not only a woman, but the hope of a life. Things he had never thought about before had now grown dear to him; a home, a family, an honorable place in the world, long years of quiet happiness.
”I can't lose you!” he said. ”I _can't_!”
She did not answer, only sat there with a white set face and her hands tight clenched in her lap.
”Where'd you get this idea anyhow?” he burst out again. ”I believe it's that woman doctor! What does she know!”
”Look here, Morton,” said Vivian firmly. ”It is not a question of who told me. The important thing is that it's--true! And I cannot marry you.”
”But Vivian--” he pleaded, trying to restrain the intensity of his feeling; ”men get over these things. They do, really. It's not so awful as you seem to think. It's very common. And I'm nearly well. I was going to wait a year or two yet--to make sure--. Vivian! I'd cut my hand off before I'd hurt you!”
There was real agony in his voice, and her heart smote her; but there was something besides her heart ruling the girl now.
”I am sorry--I'm very sorry,” she said dully. ”But I will not marry you.”
”You'll throw me over--just for that! Oh, Vivian don't--you can't. I'm no worse than other men. It seems so terrible to you just because you're so pure and white. It's only what they call--wild oats, you know. Most men do it.”
She shook her head.
”And will you punish me--so cruelly--for that? I can't live without you, Vivian--I won't!”
”It is not a question of punis.h.i.+ng you, Morton,” she said gently. ”Nor myself. It is not the sin I am considering. It is the consequences!”
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