Part 51 (1/2)

Svava. But haven't you seen mother? She said she had gone across to see you.

Nordan. Yes, she is coming directly. But look here--suppose you and I go for a good long walk together, instead of talking to your mother or anyone? Along quiet walk? Eh?

Svava. I can't.

Nordan. Why?

Svava. Because I must make an end of all this.

Nordan. What do you mean?

Svava (without answering his question). Uncle--?

Nordan. Yes?

Svava. Does Alfred know this?--Did he know it before?

Nordan. Yes.

Svava. Of course every one knew it except me. Oh, how I wish I could hide myself away from every one! I will, too. I see the real state of things now for the first time. I have been like a child trying to push a mountain away with its two hands--and they have all been standing round, laughing at me, of course. But let me speak to Alfred!

Nordan. To Alfred?

Svava. I behaved so wrongly yesterday. I ought never to have gone into the room--but you gave me no choice when you came to me. I went with you almost unconsciously.

Nordan. I suppose it was thinking of your father--of what I told you about him--that made you--

Svava. I did not understand all at once. But, when I was by myself, it all flashed across me--mother's strange uneasiness--father's threats about leaving the country--all sorts of expressions, and signs--lots and lots of things I had never understood and never even thought twice about! I chased them out of my mind, but back they came!--back and back again! It seemed to paralyse me. And when you took me by the arm and said: ”Now you must go in!”--I hardly had strength to think. Everything seemed to be going round and round.

Nordan. Yes, I made a regular mess of it--both on that occasion and the time before.

Svava. No, it was all quite right--quite right! We certainly went a little off the lines, it is true. I must speak to Alfred; the matter must not rest as it is. But, except for that, it was all quite right.

And now I have got to make an end of it all.

Nordan. What do you mean?

Svava. Where is mother?

Nordan. My dear girl, you ought not to try and do anything to-day. I should advise you not to speak to anybody. If you do--well, I don't know what may happen.

Svava. But I know.--Oh, it is no use talking to me like that! You think I am simply a bundle of nerves to-day. And it is quite true--I am. But if you try to thwart me it will only make me worse.

Nordan. I am not trying to thwart you at all. I only--

Svava. Yes, yes, I know.--Where is mother, then? And you must bring Alfred here. I cannot go to him, can I? Or do you think he has too much pride to come, after what happened yesterday? Oh, no, he is not like that! Tell him he must not be proud with one who is so humiliated.

(Bursts into tears.)

Nordan. But do you think you are able for it?

Svava. You don't know how much I can stand! Anyway, I must get done with it all, quickly. It has lasted long enough.