Part 1 (1/2)

Raven flight.

A Shadowfell novel.

Juliet Marillier.

AS THE LONE TRAVELER APPROACHED, THE FIVE Enforcers spread out in a line across his path. They waited in silence, a team of dark-cloaked warriors in full combat gear, astride their tall black horses. The fellow was roughly dresseda”hooded cloak of gray felt, woolen leggings, battered old bootsa”and carried only a small pack and a staff. His gait was steady, though his head was bowed. He looked as if head been on the road awhile.

aHalt!a called Rohan Death-Blade when the traveler had come within ten paces and showed no sign of stopping. aState your name and your business in these parts!a The man raised his head. The lower part of his face was covered by a cloth, like a crude imitation of the mask Enforcers wore on duty to conceal their ident.i.ty. Above this concealment a pair of clear gray eyes gazed calmly at the interrogator. The man straightened his shoulders. aHave I been gone so long that youave forgotten me, Rohan?a Though harsh with exhaustion, the voice was unmistakable. They knew him before he peeled off the makes.h.i.+ft mask.

aOwen! By all thatas holy!a Rohan removed his own mask, swung down from his mount, and strode forward to greet their long-absent commander. The others followed, gathering around Owen Swift-Sword. aWhereas the rest of Boar Troop? We expected you long ago. When will they be here?a aNot today.a A long pause, as if the speaker must dig deep for the strength to say more. aI must speak to the king. Straightaway. Have you a spare mount?a aTake Fleet,a said Rohan Death-Blade. aIall go up behind Tallis. Youad best get yourself cleaned up before you see the king; you stink like a midden. Donat tell me you walked all the way from Summerfort.a aI have a ill news. Grave news. Keldec must hear it first.a Something in his face and in his voice halted further questioning. They knew that look; they understood the sort of news that rendered a man thus grim and taciturn.

The kingas men mounted their horses and turned for Winterfort. Their troop leader rode with them. n.o.body spoke a word.

aUp, girls!a The sharp command from the doorway was familiar now. No matter how early we woke, Tali was always up before us. She stood waiting as the four of us struggled into our clothes, tied back our hair, and straightened our bedding. When folk lived at such close quarters over a long winter, keeping everything in order became second nature.

aHurry up, Neryn.a Reganas second-in-command leaned against the doorframe, her tattooed arms folded, observing me as if I were a tardy recruit. aI planned to put you on the Ladder later this morning, but two young fellows have turned up at the doora”Black Crow only knows how they got here through the snowa”and Iall have to test them today. So youall be training before breakfast. Itas the only time I can fit it in.a My heart sank. When Iad first reached the rebel base at Shadowfell, Iad been weak. Three years on the road, living rough, moving from one place of hiding to the next, had left me undernourished, sick, and slow to trust. When I was on the run, I had not understood why the kingas men were pursuing me, only that my canny gift was more curse than blessing. Indeed, I had hardly known what that gift was. It had taken a long journey and many strange meetings before Iad learned that I was a Caller, and that my gift might be key to ending King Keldecas rule.

My first weeks at Shadowfell had been spent resting, eating what was set before me, and having occasional visits from my fey friends Sage and Red Cap, who were lodged somewhere out on the mountain. I had not been invited to join strategic discussions or to study the various maps and charts Regan kept in the chamber where he did his planning. Everyone at Shadowfell had daily work to do, but I had not been asked to do anything except recover my strength. Regan and his rebel band had treated me as they might a very special weapona”they had concentrated on returning me to top condition as swiftly as possible.

Of recent days I had insisted on helping Fingal in the infirmary, where I could make myself useful preparing salves and tinctures, rolling bandages, and performing additional routine tasks. That freed Shadowfellas healer for other work. Talias tough winter training regime resulted in a steady stream of sprains, cuts, and bruises for her brother to tend to.

And now, at last, I had been declared well enough to begin that training myself. For my canny gift, so valuable to the rebels, was not enough on its own; Regan would not allow me to work for the rebellion unless I had at least basic skills as a fighter. I would never be a warrior like Tali or Andra or the other women who shared the sleeping quarters. My years on the road had made me tough, but I was too small and slight to be much use in a fight. Still, I needed to be able to defend myself until someone could step in to help me. That was what Regan had said.

aGood luck,a muttered Sula, who had tied up her hair with practiced speed and was heading for the door.

aYouall be fine, Neryn,a murmured Dervla as she pa.s.sed me. Finet thrust her feet into her boots and followed the others out while I was still pulling on my skirt. Andra had been on night guard and had not yet come in. Despite our remote location, Shadowfellas entry was constantly patrolled.

aYou canat wear that.a Talias dark eyes were not hostile, exactly, but they were not friendly either. Even now, when I had been at Shadowfell long enough to be accepted by everyone else, it was plain she still had reservations about me. aHasnat Eva found you some trousers? Get them on, hurry up, and wear your boots, not those soft slippers, or youall end up injuring your ankles.a I made myself breathe calmly as I changed skirt for trousers. Eva, who along with Milla was in charge of domestic matters at Shadowfell, had indeed made me the required garment, since all the female fighters wore male attire for active duty. I should have thought of this. Tackling the Ladder in a skirt would be impossible.

I put on my boots. I plaited my hair. I wondered if Tali would let me go to the privy before we began.

aThat was much too slow,a she said now. aIf we were sleeping in the open and there was an ambush, youad be dead before you could pick up your weapon at that rate. We canat afford any weak links.a There were things I could have said about the numerous times Father and I had melted away into the woods when Enforcers came near. I could have mentioned that we had managed three years on the run without being caught, until the terrible night when the Cull came to Darkwater and my father perished. But I said nothing. Talias job was to keep us all fit enough to fight on, to survive, to spread the message of freedom out across Alban. For now, my job was to learn.

aGo to the privy,a Tali said, athen meet me at the Ladder. Weave got it to ourselves until breakfast is over, and I want to make the most of that. Donat dawdle.a aReady? Fifty steps this time, and I want it quicker. One, two, three, go!a I climbed. Tali followed, apparently tireless, staying a few steps behind and keeping a rapid count. My thighs burned with pain. My chest ached. I hardly had the strength to hate her, only to keep on going.

aa forty-nine, fifty!a I bent over, hands on knees, chest heaving. Tali stepped up behind me, not in the least out of breath. Now I really did hate her.

aRest to the count of ten. One, two aa The precipitous stone steps known as the Ladder lay at the end of a long, winding pa.s.sageway, part of the network of cavelike chambers that was Shadowfell. Who had made the place, n.o.body knew. It was old and uncanny. From time to time it changed its shape, forming new caverns or hallways, or opening new doors and windows to the outside. There was a clan of Good Folk here, the fey folk of Alban whom the king had decreed human men and women should shun. They lived in the mountain beneath the rebel headquarters, or so my small friend Sage believed. Without the useful gifts they left, the human folk of Shadowfell could not have survived the harsh highland winters. Firewood. Freshly killed livestock. Vegetables that could not grow here on the mountain. The Good Folk teased the rebels with their closeness, but never showed themselves. When Iad first come here, Iad thought it might be easy for me to find and befriend them. My gift as a Caller allowed me to see and speak to uncanny folk of every kind. At least it had in the past. But these particular folk were proving as hard to coax from their bolt-hole as a hazelnut is to prize from its sh.e.l.l.

The Ladder went up the wall of a high, narrow cavern. At the top, the steps opened out to a broad ledge. People said that on a good day the view from up there was breathtaking: a sweeping vista of snowcapped peaks, high fells, and deep valleys. If you were lucky, you might see eagles soaring on the currents of air.

I had never been up before. Clearly the steps had been carved out from the rock by someone with a wicked desire to challenge folk to the breaking point. Either that or their creator had not imagined the use Tali might make of them.

aa ten. Ready? One, two, three, go!a I climbed. I might have been almost too tired to move, but I could still obey an order.

aGood,a Tali said as I reached the hundredth step and bent double, gasping for air.

aThanks,a I wheezed. From her, this was extreme praise.

aDonat waste your breath talking. Rest for the count of fifteen. Then weare heading for the top.a She counted. I breathed. In the chill of the cavern, I was drenched with sweat.

aa fourteen, fifteen. Ready? One, two, three, go! Pick up the pace, Neryn! Move those legs!a There were one hundred and twenty-seven steps in all. By the time we reached the ledge at the top, every part of my aching body wanted to collapse. I held myself upright, leaning back on the rock wall, working to slow my breathing. If there was anything Tali despised, it was lack of self-control. And she had a habit of springing surprises. It didnat pay to lose concentration, even for a moment. She was perfectly capable of making me go all the way back to the bottom and start again.

aYou can sit,a she said, moving out along the ledge and seating herself with her back against the rock wall and her long legs stretched toward the sheer drop. aYouare not a warrior; I do make allowances for that. And the way down is hard on the knees.a Since she had given permission, I sat down beside her. The air was icy. It was a still day, without the whipping northerly that so often came up in the mornings. Low cloud wrapped the mountain closely. No view today beyond a few rocks here, a patch of barren hillside there. Shadowfell sometimes felt like the end of the world.

aWhat lies north of here?a I asked when I had enough breath to speak. aAre there settlements beyond those mountains?a aWhy do you ask?a aIt looks empty. Trackless.a When I had discovered I was a Caller, with the ability to summon the Good Folk to the aid of humankind, I had also learned that I must seek guidance in my craft from the Guardians of Alban. These ancient beings of great power had retreated to places of hiding when Keldec came to the throne. They could not bear to see our peaceful realm turned to a place of fear and cruelty. If I could find them, their teaching would enable me to use my gift to the full, and wisely. Iad met one Guardian already. The Master of Shadows had found me and tested me, then told me in his cryptic way what I must do next. I had three journeys to make and three more Guardians to find: the Lord of the North, the Hag of the Isles, the White Lady. North, West, East. aThe Lord of the North must live in those mountains, or beyond them, so when the winter is over, Iall have to go there.a aWithout a guide, you could wander about in that area until you died of starvation,a Tali said flatly.

aI can forage. I can fish. I know how to make a snare.a aItas not easy terrain. There are few settlements, few good tracks, few bridges. Even in summer, not much grows there.a aAt least there will be no Cull and no kingas men to contend with, if the north is so empty.a aOne thingas certain,a Tali said. aYou canat do the trip on your own, no matter how much of a warrior we make of you by springtime. Regan seldom sends people out alone anyway, Flint being the obvious exception. Heall insist you take someone with you as pathfinder and bodyguard.a She stared out over the cloud-veiled mountains. aIf I were you, Iad go west first and seek out this Hag of the Isles,a she said. aSave the north for summer. Or do you need to follow a particular order?a aThe Master of Shadows didnat say anything about that. I only know that I need to learn something different from each Guardian.a aMm-hm.a Tali was noncommittal; I could not tell what she was thinking. She lifted an arm ringed with tattoosa”spirals, swirls, flying birds to match the ones around her necka”and pushed her dark hair back behind her ear. aItas a long way to travel, Neryn. Perhaps farther than you realize. The north a itas an unforgiving place. Weave lost a lot of good comrades there.a aI suppose I could go west first.a That would mean retracing the path I had taken to come to Shadowfell, a path full of difficult memories. Still, I had to do it sometime. If I went west, there was a possibilitya”slim but reala”that I might see Flint. The thought of him was both joy and sorrow, for when he had left Shadowfell, we had spoken sweet words of forgiveness and hope. We had not spoken of love, not in so many words, for soft feelings were forbidden among Reganas Rebels. But something deep and real had pa.s.sed between us. Now Flint would be back at Winterfort and living his perilous life as Reganas eyes at the heart of the kingas court. Keldecas Enforcer; Keldecas confidant; Keldecas most trusted man. A rebel spy. Treading a very thin line, and in constant danger. I still dared to hope he might return to Shadowfell in time to travel with me in spring. But, knowing he would need to explain away the loss of an entire troop of Enforcers, I doubted the king would let him leave court again so soon.

aHave you thought of asking your uncanny friends to go with you?a Tali asked. aOr one of those folk that are supposed to be living downstairs?a aThe Folk Below, Sage calls them. You sound as if you donat believe in them.a Tali gave me a sideways look. aIam not stupid, Neryn. I know thereas something in these caves apart from us. Especially now Iave seen your unusual friends. Wead never have survived in this place without fey help. But they canat be down that spiral stair. It leads nowhere. Youave seen it for yourself. The pa.s.sageway at the bottom ends in a solid rock wall. Yet Sage insists thatas where they live.a I had nothing to say to that. Not even Sage had been able to raise so much as a squeak from the Folk Below.

aSo why not ask them to go with you? Sage and the other one? Their magic could help protect you on the way, couldnat it?a aI donat want to ask them. One of their kind died protecting me, on the way up here. You know iron is a bane to the Good Folk, as deadly as poison. Sageas dear friend died with a chain wrapped around his neck and an Enforcer holding it tight. It was hideous. Cruel. He was just a small being, a creature of the woodland, and he stood up to the kingas men so I could escape. Sage has given up a lot for me already. Red Cap has a little baby to look after. If I ask them to come with me and it happens again, I donat think I can aa I felt the weight of Talias gaze on me. aBelieve me,a she said, aI know how that feels. Itas something you learn to live with, because itas the nature of what we do. This war wonat be won without losses. Regan will balance up the value of your gift against the risk of someone getting hurt protecting you, and heall insist you have a guard. If not one of the Good Folk, then one of us. Youall have to swallow your scruples.a When I said nothing, she went on, aThe north isnat entirely empty. Thereas a regional chieftain there, Lannan, sometimes called Lannan Long-Arm, with a number of district chieftains answering to him. Lannan is kin to the leaders in the northern isles. Weave been told his personal fighting force is substantial.a She hesitated. aOur negotiations with Lannan are at a delicate stage. Of Albanas eight regional chieftains, this is the most powerful. He hasnat attended the Gathering for several years; his relations.h.i.+p with the king is less than cordial. Distance is his friend. Keldecas unlikely to send a war band rus.h.i.+ng up there only to see them lost in the mountains.a There was a pause.

aYou understand what Iam telling you, Neryn?a aThat whoever wins Lannan over to their side has a big advantage. Yes?a aMm-hm.a aDoes that mean Regan is traveling north himself in spring?a Tali shook her head. aNo need. Weave a team talking to Lannan already. Thereas more to Reganas Rebels than this small band at Shadowfell, Neryn. This is the center of the operation, yes; Regan is the beating heart of the rebellion. But we couldnat do it with so few. Weare spread out in many parts of Alban, in places where a single dissenting voice has grown into a force for change. We do have to be careful. You know what happens when the king gets the merest whiff of disobedience.a I knew all too well. I had seen villages burned, the innocent put to the sword, leaders who stood up for justice summarily executed. I had lost my entire family to the Cull, the seasonal sweep of Albanas villages that weeded out the rebellious and those with canny gifts. Keldec feared magic above all else. And yet he used it for his own ends. His Enthrallers, of whom Flint was one, were able to work an enchantment to turn someone who had displeased the king into a flawlessly loyal subject. Sometimes, though, the charm went wrong, and the victim became a witless husk of his former self. That too I had seen. It had been the worst night of my life.

aIf Reganas teams are spread out all over Alban,a I asked, ahow do they communicate? How can you put a complete strategy in place when the time comes?a aWe have folk here and there who carry messages. Trusted folk. Believe it or not, there are some of those in Alban still. But, yes, it is a weakness. These things take time.a I thought of the boy who had brought messages to Flint, when he and I had spent the long days and nights of my illness in a little hut halfway up the Rush valley. I had wondered about that boy; wondered if he was like my brother, who had died with a spear through his chest when the Enforcers raided our home village, less than four years ago. Only a fool or a hero would dare carry messages for the rebels. Perhaps such folk were both heroes and fools.

aItas not a quick process,a Tali said. aWinning the chieftains over, I mean. Those who are prepared to support a rebellion dare not be open about their intentions. In every stronghold thereas someone ready to slip word to the Enforcers for a few pieces of silver. And once they do that, whether their information is true or false, the kingas wrath comes down like an ill-aimed hammer, striking innocent and guilty alike. All of us want the rebellion soon, as soon as possible, before people are too worn down to care anymore. But a word to the wrong ears could wreck the whole endeavor.a She glanced at me sideways, her dark eyes narrowed. aThat means no blundering into unknown parts and saying too much, whether itas a chieftainas hall or a cave housing an uncanny creature of some kind.a aI wasnat intending to do any blundering. And Iall be staying away from chieftainsa halls. Iam hoping to avoid human settlements altogether, if I can. But I do need to go, and go as soon as the season allows. If Regan wants my gift as a tool for the rebellion, I must find the Guardians and complete the Calleras training. Though by the time I get back down the Ladder, I may not be able to walk to my bedchamber, let alone all the way to the western isles.a aBy springtime,a said Tali, standing and reaching out a strong hand to pull me to my feet, ayouall be running up and down these steps without a second thought. Youare tougher than you look; must be those years on the road. If youare heading west first, maybe we should be practicing swimming.a aWonderful,a I said, not mentioning that I could not swim at all. aWhere would we be doing that, in some icebound mountain tarn?a aDonat put it past me.a The merest trace of a smile touched Talias features. aNow weare heading back down. Donat be too cautious, keep the pace steady, and lean back slightly as you go. Iad prefer not to have to catch you. I wonat count, but I want you to imagine thereas a big fellow with a big weapon right on your tail. Dawdle, and heall make sure you get to the bottom uncomfortably fast.a Once I began training with Tali, my daily routine changed. The Ladder was in heavy use during the day, with everyone at Shadowfell but Milla and Eva required to complete a certain number of ascents and descents to maintain their fitness. I took to rising early and going up and down while everything was quiet. The only ones on the Ladder before me were Tali and her brother Fingal, who fitted in the same combat training as everyone else. People said Shadowfellas healer had a rare skill with the knife, and not only for surgery. As for Tali, she worked everyone hard, and herself hardest of all.

When the folk of Shadowfell were not on the Ladder or in the training yard, they were busy with other work: helping Milla and Eva maintain the household, keeping weaponry in top condition, fas.h.i.+oning maps, making plans for the springas trips out from Shadowfell. I wondered, sometimes, if Regan had established this routine so there would be less time for arguments. Disputes did tend to break out when a small community was cooped up in a confined s.p.a.ce, as we were over the long highland winter. It was rare for anyone to venture outside, apart from their activities in the training yard with its sheltering stone walls. The fells were blanketed with snow; ice made the paths treacherous.

I learned new skills. Andra, a strapping red-haired fighter of one-and-twenty who could match the best of the men in hand-to-hand combat, trained me to use my staff as a weapon. Muscular, hard-faced Gort, who had once been a chieftainas master-at-arms, taught me to wield short and long daggers in self-defense. I was not trained alongside the new recruits, who had been given a trial period over the winter to prove themselves. Regan had ordered that my lessons be conducted in private. Knowing how vital it was for me to be ready when spring came, I worked hard and asked no questions.

Every few days Sage came to the door of the rebel headquarters, and the guards put away their iron weapons, respecting what she was. They would call me, and I would go to talk to my friend in a little chamber set aside for this purpose. Sometimes Red Cap came with her, but not often. His infant was still very small, and it was cold out in the snow, going to and fro. My fey friends did not like to come farther inside our dwelling, for there was iron everywhere, not only weaponry but Millaas kitchen ladles and tongs, the soup pot, the trivets, and other paraphernalia.

Sage and Red Cap, with the babe, had followed me all the way from the forests by Silverwater in the west, where I had first encountered them. They had helped me, had stood up for me in the face of their clanas doubts, and convinced others of their kind to aid me on my journey. Indeed, Iad discovered that Sage had been keeping an eye on me since I was a child, suspecting that my special ability went something beyond the canny giftsa”unusually good sight or hearing, a particular talent at music, an exceptional knack with animalsa”that a scattering of human folk possessed.

So Sage and Red Cap were here on the mountain, not lodged with the rebels or with the mysterious Folk Below, but in some place unknown to me. Sage had been confident, at first, that the Good Folk of Shadowfell could be persuaded to come out and talk to us, but thus far our efforts to contact them had been fruitless. I had hoped to enlist their help; I had promised Regan I would do my best. Although the Good Folk in general were distrustful of humankind, the Folk Below, with their gifts of food and fuel, had shown goodwill toward the rebels since Regan and his band had first moved into Shadowfell. I had thought I could ask for their help in finding the Guardiansa”they should know, at least, where to start looking for the Lord of the North. More than that, Iad thought we could win them over to the cause. If the Good Folk could be persuaded to join the rebellion, we had a much better chance of removing Keldec from the throne. The most famous Caller of the past had united fey and human armies to defeat a common enemy.

All very well. Thus far I had not even persuaded these folk to open their door to me. And there lay the problem. My gift was powerful. I had used it to turn the tide of a battle last autumn; I had called out a rock being, a stanie mon, to fall on a party of Enforcers and crush them. That deed weighed heavily on my conscience, and not only because one of the rebels had been caught up in it and had sustained an injury from which head later died. Reganas fighters had hailed me as a hero that day. But I did not feel like a hero. Wielding that kind of power horrified me. It made me determined not to use my special talent again until I knew how to do so wisely. I must reach the Folk Below without using my gift; I must not compel them to come out. Sage and her clan had befriended me without my needing to call. Why should not the Folk Below be the same?

My health improved. My strength increased, thanks to good food, enough rest, and rigorous training. I became more used to living at close quarters with many folk. That had been hard at first, for it was years since I had lived in the village of Corbieas Wood, with a family and a community. Father and I had been on our own a long while; and after he died, it had been only me. And then Flint and me. I tried not to think too much of him, for my imagination was all too ready to paint me pictures of Flint at court, Flint in trouble, Flint under suspicion of spying. I dreamed of him sometimes, confusing dreams that I could not interpret. I kept them to myself. He had been my companion in times of trouble, sometimes trusted, sometimes doubted, in the end a friend above all friends. And now he was gone. I must not waste time regretting something that could not be.

I had not kept count of the days, but others had. It was close to midwinter, and even Ban and Kenal, the two lads most recently arrived at Shadowfell, were starting to look like warriors, thanks to Talias training and their own hard work. We sat in the dining chamber, the only place big enough to accommodate our whole community at once, working on various tasks by lamplight after supper had been cleared away. At one end of the chamber, Millaas cooking fire burned on the broad hearth, filling the place with welcome warmth. Regan and Tali sat together, red head and dark bent over a map spread out on the table before them. They were arguing, though they kept their voices down. Tali had her arms tightly folded. Reganas handsome features wore an uncharacteristic frown.

Eva and I were working our way through a basket of mending. Killen, Shadowfellas most expert archer, had fletching materials laid out on the table before him. Andra was sharpening my knife for me, her eyes narrowed as she worked it against the whetstone. The special sheath I had made, with its protective wards, lay close by. She had not asked me about it, and I had not volunteered any information. I had learned the making of such things from my grandmother, a wise woman. Grandmotheras story was too hard to tell, too raw and painful, even now. She had fallen victim to the Cull in the cruelest way, turned into a witless sh.e.l.l by an enthrallment gone wrong. Destroyed before my twelve-year-old eyes as I hid and watched. I had learned to set the memory away where it would not cripple me, and I did not bring it out for sharing.

When Flint had told me he was an Enthraller, one of those who performed the same vile magic those men had worked on my grandmother, I had fled in revulsion. The news had made me physically sick. Mind-mending, Flint had called it, a fine old magic that had been warped and perverted under Keldec. In time I had come to accept the truth of this: that mind-mending had indeed once been a force for healing. Still, I did not speak of my grandmother: neither of the time of her wisdom and love, her strength and goodness, nor of the frail, lost thing she became. Her death had been a mercy.

Big Don was adjusting the binding on a spear. Little Don, a marginally shorter man, was plucking a tune on a three-stringed fiddle and humming under his breath. Others played gamesa”stanies, hop-the-man, or a form of skittles with an elaborate scoring system that seemed to change from night to night. Running totals were marked up on the stone wall with charcoal, and friendly disputes as to their accuracy were common.

The games, I did not care for. No one at Shadowfell knew Iad first met Flint when he beat my father at stanies and won me as his prize. That night was etched on my memory forever. Not long after the game the Cull had swept down on Darkwater and my father had been burned to death. I had trained myself to be calm when folk brought out the board and pieces. I had taught myself not to start in fright every time they made the call: Spear! Hound! Stag!

aYou should go off to bed,a Eva said, giving me a glance. aYou look worn out. Been having bad dreams again?a In a place like this, there was no avoiding scrutiny. aIam all right. Let me finish darning these leggings, at least.a aAnother pair of Talias,a Eva commented. aShe wears them out faster than anyone else, and since Iad rather not get my head snapped off, I donat ask her to do her own mending. Itas not as if sheas ever idle. Does the work of four men, that girl.a Plying my bone needle and hoping Tali would not complain about my uneven st.i.tchery, I allowed my thoughts to wander back to Flint, for it was a dream of him that had disturbed my sleep last night. It was hard to say exactly what we were to each other. Not lovers. Not sweethearts. What lay between us was too deep and too complicated for such words. I feared for him. Despite what he was, despite what he did, I longed for his return. But only if coming back did not place him in still greater danger. I yearned for the time when we could be together in a world without fear. I hoped that time would come before we were too old and tired to care anymore.

aWhat are you dreaming of, Neryn?a I managed a smile. aBetter times. Opportunities. Good things.a aAh, well. We all dream of those.a aEven Tali? I wonder what she would do if Alban were at peace.a Talias dispute with Regan had intensified; she smacked her hand on the table for emphasis.

aI donat see peace coming in a hurry,a Eva said. aEven if it does, folk will still need guards, protectors, sentries. Thereas always work for fighters.a aTali as a sentry? Give her a day or two and shead be running the whole army.a I realized halfway through this comment that the chamber had fallen quiet and my voice had carried clearly to both Tali and Regan. aIam sorry,a I said quickly, glancing over. aI meant no offense.a aA song!a put in Big Don before Tali could say a word. aWhat better for a winter night? Whoall oblige us? Brasal, how about you?a Brasal was Fingalas other infirmary a.s.sistant, a young man of brawny build who could lift a patient with ease. His strong hands were useful for bone-setting. He also had a deep, true singing voice.