Vol 2 Chapter 4 (1/2)

Chapter 4

Tada Banri looked out the

It was eight in the

Stopping his cell-phone alar, he slowly raised his body from bed

One futon was laid out on the floor, with Mitsuo and Two Dimensions peacefully situated there, their heads in opposite directions Despite their s as if suffocating in a night

Banri stretched out his hand from his bed and poked Mitsuo on the shoulder ”Yana-ssan, shouldn't you be heading ho?”, he said, his voice extre bone dry

Mitsobinked, opened his watery eyes, and confirainst his own cell-phone And then he flipped it shut He turned his face away froed to escape once more, he buried himself deeply in his towel-blanket Was it worth it? Probably not It doesn't matter Take your time

To the north side of the roohhad been set The sunlight shi+ning from the other side of the curtains is weak even when the weather was good, and doesn't reach to my feet as I am seated on the stool, no matter what

Fro, I watched the only person with his eyes open, Banri, giving up on waking Mitsuo

Banri hadn't slept at all, just about Even after his exhausted friends stayed over and fell asleep, he'd stayed awake, alone, thinking over the a Kouko, his eyes open

I a her, Banri had said so

This, to ht so inside of this Banri's body? Once upon a time, I had decided to not wait for anyone, anymore, I had At the ti characteristic of me

So it was I--- Tada Banri, for a second time had decided to not wait for anybody

That was decided, that day I existed then, that other day The Banri existing now shouldn't know about that

Alighting from the stool, I stepped softly over Mitsuo and Two Dimension's bodies and sat down on the corner of the risen Banri's bed What was originally me leaned in close to Banri's body, and in the war the memories

He aiting, but because he felt like running away, he had the voluer would do

Frouely, upon the vast riverbank scenery he was familiar with since childhood

Looking towards the opposite shore reached by the bridge, he was frightened He was scared

He waited and waited, but nobody caer

And then, turningbridge and towards the , and it all ended, going out to meet an instant of whiteness

---Not having slept, Banri's eyes were red and dry

Slowly, he laid his body down on the sheets again So doing, the paleyellow, he quietly looked up at the ceiling

The room smelled of sake

On the table, there were plastic drink bottles on top of plastic drink bottles A tower of Chuuhai cans, piled up for fun A plastic bag froe Balled-up tissues A cell-phone charger Fallen to the floor, the television re full of candy PET-bottle caps An extra strap Mitsuo's socks Torn double-leafed pages Two Dilasses case

nobody spoke

On such a , Banri merely existed

After fourth period, Banri was a complete zombie

He was in an awful, intolerable mood

With the leastlike a bell, his head, stoish, his feet were heavy Far fro off

The lecture over, delayed quite a bit by the other students strea his bag along with hi open the door with both hands, he dragged hi and going A unpleasant burp escaped him, and he held back a hot sensation from the area of his stomach

By any chance, was this the state the world called 'being hung over'?

In this condition since the , for noondered if it would help if he ate so down lunch wouldn't be a good idea But even more than usual, the school cafeteria daily special was alunch without anybody to talk to, he cleaned his plate entirely, as fast as he could

Yesterday, he'd noticed so towards an afterparty From what he saw and heard, they seemed to be excited about a dirt-cheap karaoke place In the end, five places until seven in the h we left the fifth party”, they'd laughed, their faces ghastly pale

In second period, he found an unexpectedly energetic-looking Chinami, but then she said, with her cute ani too one hooing in the opposite direction, and Two Diood on his word, didn't show up

Banri, rubbing around his chin, which was tingling strangely, yawned a bit, went out into the hall and headed for the stairs Today, as things were, even if he had shopping to do or anywhere else to go, he was heading straight back Once ho He was lost in thought, when from behind him,

”Ta-da, Ba-n-ri”

She was calling his nah for a woman her voice was a bit low and cool

He knew at once who's voice it ithout even turning his head

”What's with the face?”

”Morning well it's a hangover”

Hands still deep in the pockets of her hoodie, she walked around to the front of hiht: Linda Her shi+ny, black, evenly cut hair swaying about her chin, she frowned as if she were concerned Khaki cargo pants, with flourescent yellow Nikes White, slender ankles A friendly look on her face Apparently worried, her pale lips were pursed

For so back

”What, are you feeling bad? Shall I go to the infir for your stomach”

Shaking his head from side to side, he tried to avoid Linda

”No, that's fine I' home”

In other words, he was trying to avoid looking at Linda He was tired Even talking was painful

”I see If so, then since you're leaving would youI need to post in the lobby Since it looks like we've set next month's practice schedule, I wanted to post it”

”Ah err”

The energy required to turn her down having deserted hi what else to do Linda acted as if he'd decided ”yes”

”Then let's go Come on”

As if to urge hi no alternative, Banri followed at once, dragging his heavy feet

Lightly turning about, Linda pointed a slender finger at Banri's feet

”That reave you How are they?”

Yesterday, he had washed his customary Jack Purcells (well seasoned by his own vomit) in the bathroom and set them to dry in the middle of the veranda Today was the first day he had worn the New Balance shoes that Linda had given him

”They're great!”, Banri replied, so like an underclassman

Their sht in the uaranteed ease of access froe for this, they didn't build things like cool club buildings They didn't waste money on club rooms

Because of that, such people froether and chat, had no choice but to line up by the tables in the lobby, in the corners of the cafeteria, or to take up positions in the various gathering places or s sections

In the Oe of the lobby With a bulletin board for posting news about lecture cancellations and for posting personal notes, and with constant foot traffic going by, you couldn't call it a bad spot Not for a small, obscure club it wasn't

As it happened, the most comfortable place was in the back of the cafeteria, hidden froest pillar The people who used that spot the s there, opening , they created an atroup (or other students) couldn't even step foot there

Banri followed behind Linda, until they got to the table in front of the bulletin board

A bunch of upperclass back relaxed on a bench, waved him over

”Aren't you Tada Banri? You sit over there!”

”Morning, pardonon the schedule”

On the closest bench, Kouko was sitting, shrunken

She must've noticed Banri's voice, as her white face turned this way

Their eyes met

Wearing a chiffon top with little flowers on it, a black s he'd seen before, like the black booties She wasn't wearing a hairband either, her long, uncurled hair spilling down her back for now She seemed to hardly have any reat pains to put herself in order, she was now looking pretty awful Her swollen eyes were more awful than a bear's She had drank no less than Banri last night It appeared she was suffering froover worse than his own

Not even knohat kind of expression he showed, their eyes still in contact, Banri had stopped , like a broken robot

Kouko, like that, gave Banri a small, weak sh as her chest

For now, he acknowledged that with an auous nod, but, beyond that, of course, he couldn't do anything more

Only able to quietly avert his gaze from Kouko, he sat down at the other end of the bench, with the table between them

What he should do, he did not know Banri hung his head and lowered his gaze

With what kind of face was he to look at her, if there was no love, nor friendshi+p, and he personally wanted the relationshi+p to go away?

He wondered if he ought to behave as if he'd forgotten everything, and show a face of ”I don't know you at all” It was as if everything up to noere made null, so, for example,

”Hey, hey, where'd they put the schedule? Somebody took it?”

---He wondered if Linda washim

To be precise, as she ' hello, how are you? Who are you? Like that

Linda: next to Banri, quietly looking sidelong at hoas doing Kneeling crudely on top of the bench, tossing snack candies somebody had scattered on the table into her mouth with one hand

Once again, he thought Linda assertive, ridiculously so That wouldn't work on him, of course For the sahts

As for hiood to continue seeing Kouko Still confused, his body stiffened No matter what, for the two of the' Therefore, the two of theed a mess like this And it was a bloody mess: their heads cast down, their eyes averted, seated aardly apart, and on top of that, with their unsightly, dreadful, fresh wounds showing Banri could not be anything but that

But Linda rong about Banri Pretending not to know hi hi hi your true colors The Linda-senpai beside hihtly

Fine I can do such things

A bit surprised, Banri looked at Linda once more

Just because he had lost hisabout anyone or from where they came His identity was always established by his loss ofmore If, for example, he found hih school?”, it would come up as often as not That they were classmates was obvious, but to stay like this forever, never revealing the full truth, would be i as she didn't lie or misrepresent herself, Linda's act was doo it Now, even This instant, even Cal it

If he had done to Kouko the sa to him--- ”How do you do, who are you? What's your name?” if Kouko had heard him, if it would start a relationshi+p fro Would he be able to be clever, like Linda?

Trying to think, Banri thought at once: There was no way he could The tiely full, that he'd spent with Kouko, the past he'd had with her, all that they had built up, he could not deny quite so easily He could not make it as if hadn't happened

Or rather: he didn't want to

Because he was that as he not too pitiful?

Kouko's past, his own past, was a fact In which case, it was all the more a pity

Though that ti, to erase it entirely for the convenience of the current Banri was so he absolutely did not want to do The joy in thelove, the unforgiveable irief, the ss as well--- all of those were, clearly, irreplaceable ood or bad, as far as he was concerned, they were all i for Banri felt that he s

And yet, how, this person

”Want some?”

Suddenly grabbing a snack with her fingertips, Linda waved it in front of Banri's nose Banri shook his head side to side A throbbing pain shot through his head

”I' well”

”Oh, forgot that”

Sorry sorry, tossing it into her own er with a tissue, Linda pulled out three schedule sheets froe for herself, she passed one to Banri and another to Kouko

”Kouko-chan, perhaps, has a hangover too? Though both of you smell a bit of sake”

”Eh, really? We shouldn't, not any longer”

Kouko, frowning slightly, covered her own mouth with a handkerchief Like that, she mumbled in a weak voice Perhaps the sa

”Yesterday was the freshether with Tada-kun, I drank a bit too much”

”Eh hat!? What happened!? Now they te party!?

At the clear voice suddenly reverberating over her head, Kouko groaned, her face in a grimace Banri put his hands to his temples too

The former president who the other day had come in a suit, showed up today dressed in an norrin, in excessively good huht of as a cheerful face,

”Did you, perhaps, get a job offer!?”

But,

”Eh, how? Nothing's couy's shown up in s!”

Al---ways, such as want to be fools have bottomless cheer Moreover,

”For today, I've only got English Haha,it!”

Though he'd now reached his fourth year, it appeared he hadn't gotten his language credit yet

”Because the road ahead is dark still, I cheer myself up! Is that a proble party is? What, what, I wanna go, I wanna drink, sake! Let's do a drinking party! Today, let's everybody go from here! Hey hey, sake sake sake! It'll be fun~!”

Linda, the palms of her hands lifted towards him, lept up to explain to the excited ex-president in simple terms

”Hosshi+-senpai Calm down, it's not what you think”

Hosshi+ that's it: so like that?

Banri tried to organize in his head the as yet incompletely memorized names and faces of the various upperclasshtly ood chat with Banri, the nice guy Yoshi+no-senpai Yosshi+ Other than that, the present president of the third years, who played uy called Kosshi+ It waswas such a pain Hoas he going to be an Omaken!?

”Tada Banri and Kouko-chan have hangovers That okay with you? We were only talking about that kind of stuff So, as for specially scheduling a party now,”

”A hangover!? If that's all, don't you just have to drink soover is a drink in the et how bad you're feeling, drink, drink until you've gotten drunk, then right away have another together! Right!? So let's go drinking, okay!? I want to, I, I want to go drinking, to have fun drinking with all the underclass with my fellow job hunters, the sake is awful I' home and won't be able to co!? Shall we!? That OK!? Is it no good!? Is it bad!? Can't an unqualified hu without conditions? As president of the club I tried hard to e the club, but since it was such a s? Hey, wasn't it!? But then, as I to do!? What will I do if I cannot find a job? If it's real estate agent, I'll take it If it's notary public, I'll take that too I'll take the English and Law tests, because I must! I mean, evensenpai!? What a, they've come, the third-years have come to the seminar! No way, don't come! I mean, from nohat must I do to exist, I want to live nor in luxury!? Ah~~~~ but I want to live~~~~~ sorr~~~~~y! Apart fro more, Gods help me, I'm scare~~~~~d! I'e! Aahhh~~~~ let's go have a fes-ti-vallllll~~~~!!”

Everybody in the place exchanged silent glances Banri too Kouko too

Unable to help hi, taking that pitiful fourth-year to go drinking was all they could do

The two freshmen offered up their livers as sacrifice

As if they were fully rewinding time, Banri went to the same place as yesterday

The same tavern, the sa with his back to the partition, even the same spot Kouko next to him--- it had turned out that way naturally--- all the same

As he heard the talking of groups of other ether, he realized that the O party started

At the sound of ”Cheers” fros came near to mouths,

”Ugh”

Banri groaned

It was only the sh he hesitated, and he felt awful, heabout ready to throw up, he thought he should gulp it down all at once

Gulping it down, the feel of the cold beer passing down his throat was nevertheless pleasant for now, he drank it all down in one gulp, even the foa, at Kouko, who for a while had hardly touched her oolong tea, now, as if resolved to do it, seized her beerwith gusto no less than Banri's

”Is she okay!? 'Cause I don't see any problems at all so far”, Banri muttered to himself, but,

”Oh! There's a fresh style ain't bad! She lookstime~ Come on over here so we can talk a bit!”

Ato Kouko ”Co! urp”, she covered her ot up and walked over to them

And then onto the open cushi+on,

”Hold on You don't need to overdo it with the sake, you know? That pitcher of oolong, it's for you two to keep If the seniors say anything, you ought to say it's an oolong highball Those guys are going to be drunk before you know it Then you can leave quietly without being noticed”

Linda had co with her voice lowered, she sat down on the cushi+on

She peered at Banri's face, checking to see if his cheeks were flushed red When Banri didn't say anything more,

”Oh well That's how it is”

Her style a little strange, she continued talking Moistening her lips frohed in profile

”Look, newafter another having happened so quickly, for now, perhaps it was good you had an opportunity like this Though for you guys it was inconvenient, I think that for the seniors, even getting together will become more difficult from now on”

”Haa”

”What do you ? Have you reached your limits? Do you need to lie down?”

Linda quietly gave hiht be able to sleep, but Banri, still seated, didn't move at all

Even with regards to Linda, he had no idea at all

Right now, she seeentle senpai who truly took care of people

But in reality, this face he didn't knoas incredibly clever, cruel to an extent he could hardly believe

Not noticing that such were Banri's thoughts, Linda tilted her head a little and touched her chin, as if she were busy thinking Swinging her hair and raising her eyebrows, she brought her face near to Banri's eyes, as if to look into them Then,

”And on top of that, that raw tension, was that only a hangover? Whew I loom hmm hmm hmm?”

She pointed towards Kouko with both her fingertips and with her gaze

Kouko was seated like a doll on her cushi+on, surrounded by older students Though she was a little pale (perhaps due to the beer), she blushed a little, for the ti with a smile on her face

”I seeht?”

The way Linda said ”her” wasn't the si, but was rather the ”

Banri didn't say anything more, so Linda, her lips in a playful pout, said to his ear ”Whatever you say, you can count on senpai”, lowering her voice to a whispering sigh Entirely as if she wanted to talk about their shared secret

Banri, setting his beerasa joke,

”Linda-senpai, did you think Kaga-san and I were going out?”

He tried to say it He intended to

Setting this and that aside, for the ti looht now That's how he felt

”Was I thinking that!? Eh, wasn't it so? But didn't you guys have a really good relationshi+p? Though I thought, since fro you came as a couple to the club?”

He forced a s his head firmly from side to side,

”You rong”

He said it clearly So as to not be !?”, Linda said, her eyes groide She looked at Kouko froaze to Banri

”Is that how it is!? Eh, then what's that? To put it simply, you were 'more than friends, less than lovers'? Huh Now I see well, is that so? That's how it is Still getting to know each other, month by month Ah ah ah, from now on, after this ou ou ou, that's how it is Sorry, I've gotten ahead of myself”

And then, both hands covering hermerrily from the bottom of her heart

”What's with you already?”, he said, ”'It's good, it's good fro a fun time here, aren't you?”

Realizing that he could not si why, Banri knocked down all the beer that re Lined up with him, shoulder to shoulder, Linda threw back her head too, lifting the hs And then,

”This is really hot! Well then, as your senpai, I'll be quietly watching over your pro future! Well, love stories are fu-n Tell me, tell me more!”

”Tell you what do you mean?”

”Lo-ve st-o-ri-es! All girls are crazy about love stories, and I, for one, airl! Lo-ok look look, Tada Banri, will you tell ?”

Look! Look! No! No! While listening to that merry voice with one ear, Banri poured sake with ice fro It didn't matter whether it was sour or soda, either was fine At any rate, he wanted to shove anything into his body but Linda's voice And craainst his will, he forced it down his throat

”Especially for senpai, please let me kno's that sound to you?

Because he thought that Linda would probably be silent, trying to bring up a subject like that But Linda,as if to punch Banri softly on the shoulder,

”Whatever, it doesn'tthese days!”

Her expression was still playful around the edges

”You don't have a boyfriend?”

”No, I wish”

”That rea-san said it looked like there was so between Linda-senpai and Hosshi+-senpai”

”Whoa! Ilike that no, in reality that can be forgiven no no, impossible”

”I ot it, she said”

”Huh!? Me!? Got it!? She said that!? Seriously, I' kiss too”

Linda laughed, or in other words, he had succeeded Drinking some sake, she looked at Banri Her curiosity was piqued, and she wanted to hear what they'd said

Rather than answering back ”Aren't you awfully curious?”, Banri said:

”Didn't you have a boyfriend back in high school?”

Not having an answer, he eulp While he refilled it from the pitcher,

”---Even hearing that, you answer 'there wasn't' anyhow? There was nobody, right? Yes yes, I understand, senpai There was nobody Sure nobody, nobody nobody at all It was so that never happened It's like that He never existed”

He didn't look at Linda's face as he argued There was no answer

At that ly, as close at hand becoely frohed I', he drank some more

”Hey, hold on You're too quick with the pitcher, stop that”

Linda had grabbed and stopped his hand

Banri's face hite

Just where he found the strength to shake her off, even he didn't know Fro to Linda or not, he didn't know Really, he didn't know

”Hey, can't you stop already?”

Dazzled, he couldn't see anything at all

”Hey, ho can you do such a thing?”

He couldn't even see Linda's face

”Isn't such a thing horrible? Didn't you think of me--- of 'the Tada Banri of that time' as pathetic? Didn't you think it mattered?”

Next to hi her breath was all that could be heard

All that came to his mind was his own face The Tada Banri captured in the picture, with it's thoughtless smile

That happy-looking guy cheek to cheek with Linda didn't knohat the future had in store for hihedfaces like that

Though he would have told him if he could From his heart he felt so He didn't trust that person next to hiravely injured, and once he woke up that person gave hi 'Tell irls!' and such, that's the kind of person she was He wanted to tell her that

But, what he noticed at the sa to Linda was exactly that, in a

”Ah”

It was only the difference between accident and intention The end result was the same

He had just told Linda that he didn't know anything about her

And not just to Linda He'd been doing it to everyone he hadthis face of 'I don't now anything about you!' He was doing it even now

”Aah”

His face felt cold

He was bathed in an awful sweat Down his wet back, his salked unpleasantly His breathing was painful He felt dizzy

”We may be the same in that way”

Groaning, he laid his head on the table

It's hard It hurts I cannot breathe It was difficult and painful, and he couldn't do anything about it

Forgive s selfishly

I am the lowest of the low

Linda

Everybody

Forgivebecome like this

I am truly sorry