Part 25 (2/2)
”So it is an 'us'?” he asked quickly.
Sean grimaced. ”I care deeply for her, Devlin, but no, there is no us. You hurt her terribly when you left. She needed warning, not I.”
”Somehow I am not sure I believe that,” Devlin said, staring closely at him.
”You can believe whatever it is that you wish to,” Sean said roughly. ”I am only her friend.”
”You don't look at her like a man looks at his friend,” Devlin remarked.
”And you may pretend indifference toward her but I can smell the l.u.s.t,” Sean retorted with anger.
”You are so wrong,” Devlin said softly, but they both knew it was a huge lie. ”And I do not want to argue with you. You're my brother. We are on the same side.”
”We are not on the same side anymore, not when you have done this. Free her, Devlin, let this ransom go. Free her and leave Askeaton.”
”I can't. I'm taking her to Wideacre tomorrow.”
Sean's face tightened. ”If you hurt her again, I will kill you.”
Devlin stared, trying to decide if Sean meant it, if he could love Virginia so much that he would put her ahead of his family.
Sean flushed.
A terrible silence descended.
”I do hope you did not mean that,” Devlin finally said. ”After the ransom, she can return here-to you.”
”I meant it. I suggest you stick your c.o.c.k elsewhere.”
Devlin smiled, but it felt like a grimace. He wandered the room now, very disturbed. This was what he wanted, he tried to remind himself, a match between Sean and Virginia, but now, his reminder was hollow and so obviously a pretense. He hated the idea of them together, no matter how he fought that hate. But then, hatred was what he knew-and did-best.
Finally he sighed and sat down. If Virginia decided to return to Askeaton to be with Sean after her ransom, he would give them his blessing, pretense or not. ”You know, I have spent the past three months patrolling the coast of Spain by day and preying upon the few remaining French privateers by night. We seized four s.h.i.+ps in that span of time, four s.h.i.+ps and eight hundred in crew.”
”Are you making a point?”
Devlin glanced at him. ”Yes, I am. In all that time, I never spared a single thought for Virginia. Out of sight, out of mind.” He did not tell Sean how much discipline that had taken.
”How proud of yourself you must be.”
Devlin met his brother's stony gaze. ”I am sorry I did what I did. My regret is vast.”
”Then maybe you should tell her that!”
Devlin started. ”And what would that accomplish?”
Sean snorted in disgust. ”What would it accomplish? You broke her heart. Perhaps you can help to mend it!”
”Sean, I beg to differ. I could not possibly break her heart. She is my prisoner-not my lover.”
”Now I beg to differ. She is in love with you,” Sean said.
Devlin stared, so stunned he could not think coherently, not for a long moment.
”You are such a fool,” Sean said, quietly now.
”No,” Devlin said, shaken. ”You are wrong. Virginia is curious, independent and pa.s.sionate. That is all. If she thinks she loves me, she is wrong-it is l.u.s.t, nothing more, and any fondness on her part comes from the fact that I was her first.”
”You know,” Sean said slowly, ”it is possible that a woman might want more from you than your body.”
”Yes, a woman might want the wealth, power, position and security I could give her.” He was annoyed now. He leapt to his feet, flinging the b.l.o.o.d.y rag away. ”I never expected this, and not from you!”
”Then what did you expect? To do the deed and simply walk away? To have her now choose me? Or hand her off to me, with no regard for her feelings? She is not Elizabeth! She is nothing like Elizabeth! Virginia could not pretend to be anything that she was not, not even for a moment. Virginia wears her affections openly-she wears her heart upon her sleeve! What did you expect?”
”Unfortunately, I wasn't thinking at all, much less expecting anything,” Devlin said, abruptly sitting down. His heart dared to race and mock his cool demeanor now. His body trembled. Did he dare to confess the real truth, not to his brother, but to himself? ”I lost all control,” he said slowly. ”I swore I would not do it. I swore I would not touch her that way. That night I lost all control. I have never lost control before. d.a.m.n it, I ruined an innocent young woman!” And he felt the anguish then as it was simply impossible to ignore. Briefly he covered his face with his hands.
He had abused an innocent young woman-he had ruined Virginia Hughes. Gerald must be rolling in his grave, and dear G.o.d, his mother's heart would break if she ever learned the truth.
”Then you are human after all. Tell her what you told me-that you are sorry, that you have regret, and that you found her so beautiful you could not stop yourself.”
He cursed. ”I am not a poet, Sean.”
”Then say something kind in your own words!”
”I already have.” His intention would not waver now. He was not going near Virginia again and certainly not to bring up the ugly subject of the past.
”Tell her again.”
”Absolutely not.”
Sean sighed, as if admitting defeat. Then, slowly, he said, ”Perhaps you should think about what such lack of self-control signifies?”
Devlin stood. ”It means she provokes me in an unnatural way.”
”How convenient your theory is,” Sean murmured.
But Devlin was pacing now, back and forth, as if on his deck, and he really did not hear. ”I have spent these past months exorcising every thought of her from any and all existence,” he said, almost to himself. ”If I can defeat any French commander, I can defeat myself.”
Sean smiled a little. ”Maybe it is a slip of a woman whom you cannot defeat.”
”Like h.e.l.l.” And he was, finally, furious.
VIRGINIA DEBATED NOT GOING down to supper but decided that would make her appear childish and as if she were sulking. And she was not sulking-she was hurt and angry and determined not to allow him to know just how hurt she was. She looked through her four gowns, already knowing there was no choice, and she took out the rose silk with the low-cut bodice and black lace trim. In this dress, she looked her best, in this dress, she knew she was beautiful, and she hoped he would look at her and regret everything. Then she held the dress tightly, turning to face the mirror. What was she doing?
If only he hadn't come back!
Things had been fine recently, for she had been content and almost happy, having managed to forget and bury the past. Now she was ill, her stomach so tight and knotted she could barely breathe, and once again, he consumed her every thought and moment, against her very will. At least, she thought rigidly, her reflection unearthly and pale in the mirror, he had admitted that he had deserved her slap. At least he was moral enough to know that what he had done was wrong. But she would never accept his apology, sincere or not.
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