Part 22 (1/2)

She closed her eyes. What if she never saw him again?

Too late, Virginia realized that she could not bear the notion.

VIRGINIA WAS NOT SURPRISED to find her door unlocked, with no one standing in the hall outside. She glanced down the deserted corridor, straining to hear. Yesterday he'd put Connor on duty outside her door. Clearly her punishment was over, but then, it should be, after what had happened last night.

It was noon. She had not been able to sleep until dawn and had overslept as a result. Carefully dressed in a high-necked gray gown, Virginia went downstairs, filled with tension, so nervous she felt sick. Were they lovers now? Was she Devlin O'Neill's lover?

What would he say and do when they first came face-to-face after all that they had done last night, all that they had shared?

Virginia was terrified of their first encounter. She reminded herself to look him in the eye, smile cheerfully and greet him as if nothing had happened-as if she was not scared to death of what he might say and do. She reminded herself that she must carefully feel him out without giving him a clue as to her own feelings. Because if he was not pleasant, she did not want him to know how much she was affected by their lovemaking. She did not want him to guess the extent of her feelings. In fact, she herself was afraid to admit what might be in her heart.

The house was silent, as if n.o.body was present. Virginia glanced into the dining room and saw that the breakfast buffet had long since been removed. She was very hungry, but she would ignore it.

His study was down the hall. Virginia's steps quickened until she had to remind herself not to run, to slow down, to breathe. To her surprise, the study door was wide open and the room was empty.

Dismayed, she stared at the huge desk where she had seen him working. Then she started into the adjacent salon, but that was empty, too. She hurried to the French doors that let onto the brick terrace and stared at the sweeping lawns. She saw a horse and rider approaching.

Virginia left the house quickly, choosing to do so by way of the terrace. Her heart raced with an antic.i.p.ation she could not hold at bay. Clouds scudded across the sky and she knew it would be a fine day for sailing. She could almost hear him saying so. She smiled, imagining him on the quarterdeck of the Defiance.

The rider had yet to come close enough for her to make him out. She paused before the stables, waiting nervously, wringing her hands. Then she caught a glimpse of gray and white from the corner of her eye and she glanced into the barn. To her surprise, she saw his gray stallion was in his stall.

If he hadn't gone riding, where was he? Her heart beat like a jungle drum now. Perhaps he had taken a different horse, she thought, suddenly worried and not quite knowing why. Virginia came out of the barn and she faltered. It was Sean who was dismounting in the courtyard, not Devlin.

She managed to take a steadying breath and plant a smile on her face before approaching. ”Good day, Sean,” she said brightly.

”Good afternoon,” he said, not glancing at her. He handed the chestnut to a young groom. ”Walk him until he's cool, Brian, then a nice hot bran will do.”

”Yes, sir,” the boy said, leading the sweaty horse away.

Virginia continued to smile while her pulse leapt so wildly it made her feel faint. ”Did you have a pleasant ride?” she asked.

”Yes,” he said, walking abreast of her but staring past her, at the house.

Alarm began. Virginia walked with him, staring at his hard profile, a profile incredibly similar to Devlin's. He seemed sunburned-either that or he was flushed. And it was clear he did not want to look at her.

She swallowed, her first thought being that he somehow knew of the affair last night. But she quickly rea.s.sured herself that he could not know. Her bedroom was in one wing, his in the other. But his behavior was so different. He was grim and subdued instead of cheerful and loquacious. ”Is everything all right?” she asked cautiously.

”Yes.” He finally glanced at her. Then his gaze slammed to her mouth and away.

Virginia's mouth was bruised, her lips were swollen, and she felt certain he not only saw, but understood completely.

She did not want him to know about her fall from grace. ”Have you seen Devlin?” she asked, and to her horror, her voice sounded far too high and on the verge of hysteria.

”Yes.” Sean seemed angry now. His strides increased, leaving Virginia behind.

She had to run to catch up. ”He doesn't seem to be in the house and-”

”He's not here.”

She halted. ”What?”

Ahead of her, Sean did not pause. ”He's gone.”

Her mind froze over. She croaked, ”Gone?”

Sean suddenly turned, the action violent. ”He left. He's not here,” he said, his face mottled with a red flush.

She swallowed hard. ”What do you mean, Sean?” How hard it was to get the words out. But she somehow knew.

His furious gaze clashed with hers. ”He went to London this morning.”

Virginia cried out. And for one moment, her world grayed, darkened, became black.

And when her vision cleared, she was in Sean's arms, and he was peering worriedly at her. She started to push him weakly away.

He didn't allow it, holding her upright on her feet, a strong arm braced behind her back. ”You were about to faint.”

She met his gaze, aware that hers was br.i.m.m.i.n.g with tears. ”He went to London?”

Sean nodded, his expression very grim, his gaze dark with anguish.

And her heart cracked open. Again and again, until it bled, raw. He had left. He hadn't said goodbye. He hadn't cared enough to say goodbye. He was gone. ”Is he coming back?” she whispered.

”I don't know,” Sean said. ”He said he will send word.”

She stared, her body shaking, her mouth trembling. The eighteen-year-old woman was gone. A tiny child was left in her place, broken and bewildered, abandoned and alone and so very afraid.

”I'm sorry,” Sean suddenly cried. ”I could kill him with my bare hands, my own brother, a monster I do not understand!”

She cried out, fighting tears now, refusing to weep. He simply did not care that they had made love. He was gone.

”I know what he did to you, Virginia. I am so sorry.”

She met Sean's gray eyes, eyes that were so like his brother's except that they mirrored compa.s.sion and regret and even guilt. He was holding her hands tightly.

”You know?” she whispered, tears seeping.

He nodded. ”I saw him last night. It was obvious. But your secret is safe here.”

She closed her eyes and shrugged. ”I don't care. It's better this way. If Eastleigh thinks to marry me off to some stranger, now I can simply tell the truth about what happened and no one will have me.” But she did care. She was in pain, terrible pain, and she had to go away, she had to be alone.

”Don't do this to yourself. This was not your fault. You are young and inexperienced, a perfect target for someone like Devlin. How could a girl like yourself resist my brother's seduction?” His laughter was harsh. ”It is times like these that I detest him. He is better off gone and we should hope he never returns.”

”You don't mean that,” she managed.

”I feel that way now, as I have all night. The truth is, he is my brother, he would give his life for me, and I do love him. But I will never forgive him for this.” Sean's eyes were as dark as a stormy sea.

The immense betrayal struck her again. He was gone. He had taken her innocence, and now, he had left. He didn't care. Not about anyone, not about anything. He was a monster, not a man. ”I have to sit down,” Virginia choked. ”My knees are oddly weak and I cannot see.”

”You appear as if you will faint again,” Sean said grimly, sweeping her into his arms. He carried her to the house.