Part 2 (1/2)

THEORUS ...if the country had not been covered with snow; the rivers were ice-bound at the time that Theognis(1) brought out his tragedy here; during the whole of that time I was holding my own with Sitalces, cup in hand; and, in truth, he adored you to such a degree, that he wrote on the walls, ”How beautiful are the Athenians!” His son, to whom we gave the freedom of the city, burned with desire to come here and eat chitterlings at the feast of the Apaturia;(2) he prayed his father to come to the aid of his new country and Sitalces swore on his goblet that he would succour us with such a host that the Athenians would exclaim, ”What a cloud of gra.s.shoppers!”

f(1) The tragic poet.

f(2) A feast lasting three days and celebrated during the month Pyanepsion (November). The Greek word contains the suggestion of fraud.

DICAEOPOLIS May I die if I believe a word of what you tell us! Excepting the gra.s.shoppers, there is not a grain of truth in it all!

THEORUS And he has sent you the most warlike soldiers of all Thrace.

DICAEOPOLIS Now we shall begin to see clearly.

HERALD Come hither, Thracians, whom Theorus brought.

DICAEOPOLIS What plague have we here?

THEORUS 'Tis the host of the Odomanti.(1)

f(1) A Thracian tribe from the right bank of the Strymon.

DICAEOPOLIS Of the Odomanti? Tell me what it means. Who has mutilated them like this?

THEORUS If they are given a wage of two drachmae, they will put all Boeotia(1) to fire and sword.

f(1) The Boeotians were the allies of Sparta.

DICAEOPOLIS Two drachmae to those circ.u.mcised hounds! Groan aloud, ye people of rowers, bulwark of Athens! Ah! great G.o.ds! I am undone; these Odomanti are robbing me of my garlic!(1) Will you give me back my garlic?

f(1) Dicaeopolis had brought a clove of garlic with him to eat during the a.s.sembly.

THEORUS Oh! wretched man! do not go near them; they have eaten garlic(1).

f(1) Garlic was given to game-c.o.c.ks, before setting them at each other, to give them pluck for the fight.

DICAEOPOLIS Prytanes, will you let me be treated in this manner, in my own country and by barbarians? But I oppose the discussion of paying a wage to the Thracians; I announce an omen; I have just felt a drop of rain.(1)

f(1) At the lest unfavourable omen, the sitting of the a.s.sembly was declared at an end.

HERALD Let the Thracians withdraw and return the day after tomorrow; the Prytanes declare the sitting at an end.

DICAEOPOLIS Ye G.o.ds, what garlic I have lost! But here comes Amphitheus returned from Lacedaemon. Welcome, Amphitheus.

AMPHITHEUS No, there is no welcome for me and I fly as fast as I can, for I am pursued by the Acharnians.

DICAEOPOLIS Why, what has happened?

AMPHITHEUS I was hurrying to bring your treaty of truce, but some old dotards from Acharnae(1) got scent of the thing; they are veterans of Marathon, tough as oak or maple, of which they are made for sure--rough and ruthless. They all started a-crying: ”Wretch! you are the bearer of a treaty, and the enemy has only just cut our vines!” Meanwhile they were gathering stones in their cloaks, so I fled and they ran after me shouting.

f(1) The deme of Acharnae was largely inhabited by charcoal-burners, who supplied the city with fuel.

DICAEOPOLIS Let 'em shout as much as they please! But HAVE you brought me a treaty?