Volume Ii Part 28 (1/2)
”Then he was fond of drink,” said Ratty.
”Ratty, don't be pert. To come back to what I was originally saying--I repeat, sir, I am at twelve paces from my object, six from the mirror, which, doubled by reflection, makes twelve; such is the law of optics. I suppose you know what optics are?”
”To be sure I do.”
”Tell me, then.”
”Our eyes,” said Ratty.
”Eyes!” exclaimed the old lady, in amaze.
”To be sure,” answered Ratty, boldly. ”Didn't I hear the old blind man at the fair asking charity 'for the loss of his blessed optics'?”
”Oh, what lamentable ignorance, my child!” exclaimed the old lady. ”Your tutor ought to be ashamed of himself.”
”So he is,” said Ratty. ”He hasn't had a pair of new breeches for the last seven years, and he hides himself whenever he sees mamma or the girls.”
”Oh, you ignorant child! Indeed, Ratty, my love, you must study. I will give you the renowned Kirwan's book. Charlotte tore some of it for curl papers; but there's enough left to enlighten you with the sun's rays, and reflection and refraction--”
”I know what _that_ is,” said Ratty.
”What?”
”Refraction.”
”And what is it, dear?”
”Bad behaviour,” said Ratty.
”Oh, Heavens!” exclaimed his grandmother.
”Yes, it is,” said Ratty, stoutly; ”the tutor says I'm refractory when I behave ill; and he knows Latin better than you.”
”Ratty, Ratty! you are hopeless!” exclaimed his grandmamma.
”No, I am not,” said Ratty. ”I'm always _hoping_. And I hope Uncle Robert will break his neck some day, and leave us his money.”
The old woman turned up her eyes, and exclaimed, ”You wicked boy!”
”Fudge!” said Ratty; ”he's an old shaver, and we want it; and indeed, gran, you ought to give me ten s.h.i.+llings for ten days' teaching, now; and there's a fair next week, and I want to buy things.”
”Ratty, I told you when you made me perfect in the use of my weapon I would pay you. My promise is sacred, and I will observe it with that scrupulous honour which has ever been the characteristic of the family; as soon as I hit something, and satisfy myself of my mastery over the weapon, the money shall be yours, but not till then.”
”Oh, very well,” said Ratty; ”go on then. _Ready_--don't bring up your arm that way, like the handle of a pump, but raise it nice from the elbow --that's it. _Ready--fire!_ Ah! there you blink your eye, and drop the point of your pistol--try another. _Ready--fire!_ That's better.
Now steady the next time.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: A Crack Shot]
The young villain then put a charge of powder and ball into the pistol he handed his grandmother, who took steady aim at her reflection in the mirror, and at the words, _”Ready--fire!”_ bang went the pistol--the magnificent gla.s.s was smashed--the unexpected recoil of the weapon made it drop from the hand of the dowager, who screamed with astonishment at the report and the shock, and did not see for a moment the mischief she had done; but when the shattered mirror caught her eyes, she made a rush at Ratty, who was screeching with laughter in the far corner of the room where he ran to when he had achieved his trick, and he was so helpless from the excess of his cachinnation, that the old lady cuffed him without his being able to defend himself. At last he contrived to get out of her clutches and jammed her against the wall with a table so tightly, that she roared ”Murder!” The report of the pistol ringing through the house brought all its inmates to the spot; and there the cries of murder from the old lady led them to suppose some awful tragedy, instead of a comedy, was enacting inside; the door was locked, too, which increased the alarm, and was forced in the moment of terror from the outside. When the crowd rushed in, Master Ratty rushed out, and left the astonished family to gather up the bits of the story, as well as they could, from the broken looking-gla.s.s and the cracked dowager.
CHAPTER XL